Decisions Not for the Faint of Heart
by jfryman
Summary: Rolls reversed - Edward is human and Bella is the vampire. They've decided to be together but what happens when Bella injures Edward and leaves him only to come back and do it again? Will he move on or be turned?
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

**(Edward Swan)**

I grew up in the small town of Forks, Washington. My mom, Renee, divorced my dad only a few years after I was born, but she lived in California now. I lived with my dad in the small two bedroom house which they bought in the early years of their marriage. I didn't mind the constant dreary weather but I had the opportunity to get as much sun as I wanted whenever I visited my mom. I had a great group of friends at Forks High School. We all grew up together and had been friends since Kindergarten. This was part of the reason my mom didn't mind me staying with my dad when the divorce was finalized.

My dad, Charlie, was the chief of police so there was no fooling around or being mischievous, which I didn't mind. I was pretty straight laced and smart. I wasn't in line to be class valedictorian or anything, Eric wanted it more than me but I was in close second I would guess. I enjoyed just hanging out with my friends and being a typical high school teenager.

I had no idea how much my life would change when I first met her. She was everything I wasn't – mysterious, hard to read, and impulsive. Her family was like a big secret around school. Rumors flew around them and they did nothing to stop them or prove them wrong. It was like they were invincible to everything that came in contact with them. They had no friends and never spoke to anyone, but that didn't mean all the guys in school didn't try.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1: That was unexpected**

**(Edward Swan)**

It was a typical Monday morning of a new semester. We had just gotten back from winter break and there was a buzz floating around school.

"Have you seen them?" Mike asked me at lunch.

"Seen who Mike?"

"Oh my gosh Edward, you don't know, do you?" Jessica asked impatiently.

Jessica and I had just broken up and you could tell she was having a hard time getting over it. I just had no chemistry with her and I thought we would be better off as friends. She completely agreed that there was no fire with me either and it was a mutual break-up, but the way she had just touched my arm felt as though she wasn't quite over me yet.

I looked over to Mike, "What are you both talking about?"

"The new students we have here at school. One was in my Spanish class this morning and man was she gorgeous," Mike said.

"All of them are," Jessica mumbled.

"I heard they moved down here from like somewhere in Alaska. Their dad is a new doctor at the hospital," Angela murmured so low that only our lunch table could hear.

"Oh," I said nodding my head. That was when they walked in. She was gorgeous… all of them were, but she stood out from the other four. Her skin was pale, very pale. Her dark brown hair contrasted against her skin tone. It flowed down to the middle of her back in dark wavy curls. The other four looked different, but yet the same. All of them had extremely pale skin and dark purple circles under their eyes. But even though their hair colors were different, along with their builds, they all had the same eyes – dark coal black.

I watched her from the corner of my eye as I ate my lunch. I had always had the ability to just know what people were thinking. I was a good reader of faces and emotions, but I got nothing from her. The other four were complacent and oblivious to the noise and whispers that swirled around them. It was like they didn't care.

"They are in need of some serious sun," Jessica muttered.

The bell rang and we all stood. I watched her throw away her untouched food. All of them did – they hadn't touched anything on their trays. I walked to biology, my next class and took my normal seat in the back of class by myself. She breezed through the door and handed a folded piece of paper to Mr. Molina. He pointed to the only open seat next to me and handed her the book.

When she sat down next to me I felt an immediate surge coursing through my body. It wasn't like I was being stabbed or anything but I couldn't feel anything or even think. It subsided quickly and I was relieved; I had hoped she hadn't seen the twisted, contorted face I had just made.

I cleared my throat and took my chances, "Hello, my name is Edward Swan."

She turned to look, no to stare at me. Her cold, dark eyes pierced through me making me want to shrink into my chair and take back my greeting I had just given her. "Bella Cullen," she sneered at me.

The rest of class was agony. I felt horrible for offending her, and I wanted to say something to her but as soon as class was over she was out the door before I even had the chance. I stumbled out of my seat and walked to gym in a daze. What had I done for her to treat me like that? I bumped into Mike while we changed into our gym clothes. "Sorry Mike."

"It's okay man. You doing all right?" I nodded and followed him out to the gym. We were playing volleyball again and Mike and I were an unstoppable force together. We creamed our other team and slapped each other high fives. "Hey what was with that girl you sat next to in biology?"

"I don't know. I was really polite to her and just introduced myself and she practically stared me into the ground."

"I noticed. I wonder what is wrong with her."

"I hope I didn't offend her."

"You are too polite Edward. You did nothing wrong at all."

I nodded in agreement but I still couldn't get her dark black eyes out of my mind. I drove home and started supper while doing some of my homework. My mom had emailed me so I responded to that telling her everything that I had done over New Year's with my friends. I heard my dad open the door so I went back downstairs to greet him, "Hey dad!"

"Did you have a good first day back Edward?"

"Sure, except… well there were a new group of students at school today. The Cullens?"

"Oh yea. Their dad is the new doctor at the hospital. I met him over your winter break – nice guy."

"Oh."

"I guess he and his wife can't have any kids so they adopted all those teenagers."

"Yea, I met one in my biology class."

"I hope you were nice Edward."

"I was dad, don't worry." The events played back in my head as I served supper and sat down to eat. She was so beautiful but why had she acted so cold towards me? I was determined to find out, to know what her problem was.

The next day at school I waited in the parking lot so that I could confront her, but she didn't show. Her family was there – the other four – but she was missing. I looked for her at lunch and then waited for her to come into biology, but she wasn't there. The next three days of school were the same, things were getting really weird. I tried to read her siblings but I got nothing from them.

Finally that following Monday she was there in biology, as if she was waiting for me. He dark eyes were now a stunning gold and I couldn't help but fall into them. She smiled at me, "Hello. I'm sorry for being so rude last week. My name is Bella Cullen."

"It's nice to meet you Bella," I replied.

She continued to stare at me until Mr. Molina brought the class to attention. "Today we are going to label and separate the four stages of mitosis using these four flatworm samples," he said passing out the slides. "You are going to work as partners and you cannot use your notes or your books."

The class groaned but Bell and I got to work. "Ladies first," I said pushing the microscope towards her. We quickly identified all the stages with no problems, "So how do you like Forks so far?"

"It's all right, I guess. We moved because my dad got a job at the hospital."

"Where are you originally from then?"

She turned to look at me, "We just moved down from Alaska, but we move around so much it is hard to say where I am originally from."

"Oh. I've grown up my whole life here."

"I don't mind moving around. We are a close family so friends aren't really a problem."

I only nodded, taking the hint she was giving. She didn't want friends so I should just stop trying. Mr. Molina called the class to order and started his lecture. I couldn't help but watch her out of the corner of my eye during class. They way she took notes and twirled her hair in between her fingers simply fascinated me. She turned her head and winked at me a couple times and I was hoping I wasn't drooling too much in front of her.

I got up to leave but she took her time packing up her bag, "Edward?"

I stopped and turned around, "Yes Bella?"

She stood up and walked up to me. Her head was down but she peered up at me through her eye lashes, "You really should stay away from me. I'm not good for you." She charged past me and I hurried off to gym. My head was spinning, how did she do that?

That night I dreamed of her – I was holding her in my arms and kissing her. I bolted up in my bed. I was sweating and panting. "What was that?" I muttered. The next month was both better and worse. Bella barely talked to me but the rest of my friends were closer than ever. We were all talking about the big Valentine's Day dance that was coming up. Mike had asked Jessica and Eric was taking Angela, which left me to find someone.

"We can all just go as one big group," Mike suggested to me the Friday before the dance.

I knew who I wanted to take but she had warned me to stay away from her. "It's okay Mike. I don't think I really want to go anyway."

"No man you have to go. It wouldn't be the same without you there."

"We'll both dance with you," Angela suggested pointing to herself and Jessica.

"Thanks…"

She walked into the lunchroom then and I couldn't help but watch her walk by me and wink. She motioned with her finger for me to follow her. "Does she mean you?" Jessica sneered.

"I guess. She might need help with the biology homework," I suggested.

I followed her to an empty table in the middle of the room. I sat down across from her and played with my water bottle until she spoke. "Look Edward I'm sorry I've been so rude, but it really is the best."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I am dangerous and I am glad that you have listened to me when I told you stay away from me."

"Then what is this Bella?"

"I've been trying to ignore you Edward, but you make it very difficult."

"Could you please just tell me what you want from me?" I was getting agitated.

"I'm tired of staying away from you Edward. I was wondering if you were planning on going to the dance next Friday?"

"Is this you asking me, or are you just simply curious as to if I am going?"

"I'm not sure, both maybe."

I took a jump, "Bella would you accompany me to the dance next Friday?"

"Why Edward I thought you would never ask," she said smiling. The bell rang and she reached for my hand. I took it and we walked to biology together. We were the last ones to arrive and everyone stared at us as we walked to our seats. I kept my hand entwined with hers throughout class and she walked with me to gym. She pecked me quickly on the cheek and took off in the opposite direction.

I stumbled to my locker and ran into Mike, "What was that all about?"

"I think I have a date to the dance…" I muttered still in disbelief.

"No way Edward! You're taking Bella Cullen to the dance?" he practically yelled at me.

I nodded and changed in a daze. What would I wear? A tux? No that was too formal, maybe just a shirt and tie then. Gym ended and I walked out to my car where Bella stood leaning against it. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest… how did she make me feel this way? She strutted up to me, the whole parking lot was watching us. She reached for my hand and I took it. She pulled me towards my car and stood there, waiting for me to open the door.

I gripped the handle and pulled as she slid into the front passenger seat. I turned around just in time to see the faces of her four siblings staring at me with complete and utter hatred. I slunk around to the driver's side and placed my hands on the steering wheel before I looked over at her. "Bella, can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can Edward."

"Why me? Out of all the guys following you around school, you choose me? And this even after you tell me to stay away from you?"

"I was tired of fighting my gut instinct. I have been so good for so long now and I decided it's time to do what I want for a change, regardless of how my family feels about it."

I stared at her in confusion, "You know I have absolutely no idea what you mean."

"I know… but I have a feeling you will figure it out. There is something about you Edward. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there is something very different about you."

I changed the subject, "So where do you want to go?"

"Well my house is obviously out, so why don't you take me to yours?"

"You want to go to my house?"

"Sure, why not."

I put the car in drive and sped off to my house. It wasn't very far from school, we were there within five minutes. I got out of the car and opened the door for her. I used my key to open the front door and swung it open. "You'll have to excuse the mess, I live here with just my dad."

"It's fine Edward. I don't mind a few clothes on the floor." I led her up to my room which I, thankfully, kept immaculate. She sat on my bed and laid her book bag beside her. I turned on my laptop and took off my jacket and book bag as well. "You have a very nice room."

"Thank you. My mother decorated it when I was little and things haven't really changed much."

"I like it. You can tell it was decorated with love," she murmured.

I had to stop myself from doing something impulsive while I stared at her, so I sat down and typed out an email to my mom. I heard Bella get into her book bag and pull out some homework. I peeked from the corner of my eye and caught her doing the same thing. I finished my email and rolled the computer chair over to the bed next to her.

She pulled my left hand into her hands and rubbed my palm with her fingers. The electricity that flowed between us was starting to take its toll on me. I stood up suddenly, "Sorry I think I should make some supper for my dad."

She pulled on my hand making me sit beside her on the bed, "Is that what you really want to do right now?"

I flushed deep red, "Bella… I've never done anything except hold hands. I can't, I mean I don't think I should," I muttered.

She lifted her left hand and placed it on my right cheek, "What is your heart telling you to do?"

I had dreamed of this moment with Bella since the first meeting. I wanted it to be right, to be perfect but I had no idea how to do it. I closed my eyes and thought of that first dream. I lifted both hands to her face and cupped it. We slowly leaned forward until I was just inches from her face. She blew out a breath of air and I inhaled every delicious scent. I carefully pressed my lips to her and the electricity became full throttle inside me. I locked my face to hers as her hands tangled into my hair securing our faces together.

I didn't expect what would happen next. Bella, with her lips still on mine, pushed me down on the bed and climbed on top of me. She pressed her body against mine and my hands roamed freely down her back until I reached the lower curve. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed down her jaw line and neck and back up until I found her lips again. A small moan escaped my lips as she dug her hips into mine. I could feel her fingers messing with the buttons of my jeans. I rolled her off me and sat up, quickly buttoning back up my jeans.

"Bella, I'm sorry. This is too much for me," I said standing up.

She was at my side immediately, wrapping one arm around my waist and kissing my cheek. She reached for my hand, "This is all I need," she murmured kissing my cheek again and locking her fingers into mine.

I smiled at her and kissed her forehead. We both sat on the bed again, this time across from one another. I had the door open and we were working on homework when my dad walked in. "Hey Edward, just wanted to let you know I was home."

"Hi dad, this is Bella Cullen. She is my biology partner. We're just working on homework if you want me to make something for supper."

"It's nice to meet you Police Chief Swan," Bella said flashing her breathtaking smile.

My dad turned beet red, "Call me Charlie, please Bella. I can order pizza for supper Edward."

We both nodded and my dad clunked back down the steps. Bella scooted closer to me on the bed and smiled at me. "So then have you always lived with your dad?"

"Yea. My mom and he divorced when I was little and they didn't want to up root me so I spent time with my mom in California whenever I can."

"Well that's nice."

"I guess. What about your parents?"

"They are madly in love. It can be sickening sometimes but it is so sweet to see how they still adore one another."

"And they don't like me?"

"They don't know you. My siblings are the ones causing all the trouble. They don't think you are good enough for me… well they just think that I am better off with someone else. Someone more like me."

"Oh. I see." My face fell.

She brought her hand to my face, "But they don't know you like I do. They don't understand why I can't leave you alone. It's not really anything against you personally." She said kissing me on the lips. I lost all focus and launched myself onto her, scattering our books and things onto the floor. I pressed myself against her and kissed her down her neck. She let out a small moan and I silenced her with my lips. "Oh Edward."

I felt myself going hard so I rolled off her and slid off the bed so that my back was leaning against the side of the mattress. "I'm sorry Bella. I can't seem to control myself when you kiss me like that."

She threw her arms around my neck from behind me, "I don't mind… honest."

I let my head fall into my hands. "But I do Bella. This isn't like me at all."

"Kids, Pizza's here!" my dad called.

I felt her get off the bed and sit beside me, "Well maybe. But I have the tendency to bring out the impulsive side of most people."

I looked over to her smiling face and couldn't help but laugh, "Let's go get some pizza."

I grabbed her hand and we walked down the steps and into the kitchen where my dad stood. "So Bella, how are you liking Forks so far?"

"Well it is different from Alaska but I like the atmosphere around here. People seem friendlier… I guess it is because they all grew up together."

"You hit the nail on the head on that one Bella," my dad laughed.

I grabbed some slices and offered Bella a plate as my dad walked into the living room where he would sit all night long and watch basketball. "Um… no thanks Edward. I'm not really hungry."

"Really Bella? Is there anything at all I can fix you?"

"No, no. It's fine. You go ahead and eat. I promise it is okay."

"Only if you're sure."

"Just eat Edward. I'll be fine."

We headed back upstairs and I shut my door this time. She sat on my computer chair as I plopped down onto my bed on my stomach. I bit off a slice and stared at her. "So this dance on Friday. What exactly would you like me to wear?"

She laughed at me, "You are worrying about what you need to wear? Isn't that usually a girl thing?"

I laughed with her, "I guess, but I just want to look good for you."

He laughed changed to a heart-warming smile, "Well that is really sweet of you Edward." She stood up and walked over to my closet. She was sifting through all my clothes and it was starting to make me feel self-conscious. "Oh my goodness!"

"What, what is it Bella?"

"This!" she said pulling out a light blue dress shirt with matching tie and black dress pants. "This would be perfect and I have a dress that goes with it," she breathed.

The rest of the night we just talked and hung out. It was an amazing night. I was surprised when a car arrived out front and honked for her. "Who's that?"

She started to get up and pack her things, "It's my sister, Alice. I told her to pick me up."

"Oh," was all I managed to get out.

I followed her down the steps, "Good night Charlie. It was really nice meeting you!" Bella waved.

I walked her out and she stopped on the porch and turned around to face me, "I wish you could stay longer," I muttered.

She placed her hands on my face, "It's late and I will see you soon." She pressed her lips against mine and I wrapped my arms around her waist pulling her into me until I could feel every line of her body against my own. She slid from my embrace, "See you tomorrow," she breathed and ran towards the open car door.

I stood on the front porch and watched the darkness for a while until I heard my dad call me.

"Yea dad?"

"Your biology partner Edward?" he eyed me.

"Well she was until tonight dad. I guess she's my girlfriend."

"How can you not be sure on that?"

I shrugged and took the steps two at a time. I plopped onto my bed and put my hands behind my head. I took a deep breath, "Wow… Bella Cullen is my girlfriend." I fell asleep and she was in my dreams again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 2: Fighting for what I want**

**(Bella Cullen)**

"You're not serious Bella? Please tell me I didn't just see that!" Alice groaned at me.

"Come on Alice. You know you are the only one I can trust with this. I think Emmett would rip his head off if he found out."

She rolled her eyes, "You are crazy Bella. He's not like us at all. Have you even told Carlisle and Esme about all this?"

"Alice, I just realized how I felt about all this okay. Let's just hunt please."

I took down my prey easily alongside Alice. If I was going to be spending the entire weekend with Edward I would need all the strength I could get. I thought about our kissing. I was the one who had lost control the first time. I didn't regret showing him how I felt… it was amazing kissing him like that. His lips and scent drove me crazy. It had for a while now. I had a hard time avoiding him that first month. Ever since that second time we had talked in biology I had wanted to taste his lips against mine.

"Bella what are you thinking about?"

I smiled at her, "Him."

She rolled her eyes, "What Alice? I can't help it. I have never felt any of this before."

"You know you can't tell him about us."

"I know. I can only hope he figures it out and doesn't run away screaming."

"After how he just kissed you, I don't think that is a problem Bella. He is simply infatuated with you."

"Did you see this coming Alice?"

"I wasn't sure because you kept changing your mind… and you make it awful hard when you block me." I waited for her to answer my question. "Yes Bella I did see glimpses of something like this affecting your future."

"If I let you completely in, will you tell me more?"

"Fine," she grumbled. I let my shield go to let Alice get a clear picture of what my future contained. She closed her eyes and concentrated for about half an hour. She eventually opened her eyes and smiled at me. "Isabella Marie Cullen!"

"What Alice? What did you see?"

"What didn't I see Bella! You can't be seriously thinking he would survive through that! You're a vampire that is one-thousand times stronger than he is and you are thinking you can just have casual sex with a human?"

"Seriously? We're going to make love?"

She groaned and threw her hands into the air, "Bella I suggest you forget about him just as quickly as you came into his life."

"Why would I do that Alice? I think I am in love with him."

"You don't even know him Isabella! You can't let your emotions control what you are."

"You don't know anything about him Alice! None of you do and you keep passing off judgment on him without so much as a handshake. I thought you of all people would understand how difficult this is for me… how much he means to me."

I couldn't take this criticism. I was going to tell my parents and just deal with things the right way for once. I bursted in through the front door, "Carlisle, Esme!"

"What is it Bella?" my mom said rushing to my side. Carlisle wasn't far behind her.

"I'm dating a human and I love him. Emmett, Rose, Jazz, and Alice don't approve but they don't even know him. He is everything to me. I tried to stay away from him but I just couldn't. He is wonderful and amazing and for the first time in my existence I don't want to slaughter him… I want to just be with him – laugh, kiss, talk."

"He sounds wonderful Bella. Are you absolutely sure you want this?" Carlisle stated looking me directly into the eyes.

I stared back into his with fierce, "I want him. I want every part of what he is. He means everything to me."

"Well then we will just have to meet this mystery boyfriend of yours. Why don't you bring him by the house on Sunday?" my mom breathed.

I looked at her, "Are you sure?"

"Sweetheart, you love him. We must meet this love of your life. Don't worry about your brothers and sisters Bella. We will talk with them."

I threw my arms around their necks, "Thank you both so much!"

I ran up to my room and threw myself onto my large king sized bed. I fished around for my stereo remote and wasn't surprised when a small hand reached out with it towards me. "What do you want Alice?" I groaned.

"Bella, I'm sorry. You just surprised me that's all. It is such a commitment and I want you to think about it before you do anything. You need to think about his safety too."

I rolled my eyes, "Alice I love him, case closed."

"So when you bite him, how are you going to explain it to him?"

"That's not going to happen Alice. I have never felt more control with anyone."

"You're seriously delusional little sister," Emmett said marching into my room.

"Get out of my room Emmett!"

He completely ignored me, "I want you to stop seeing him Bella. He's not one of us!"

I rolled off my bed, "Unless all of you learn to respect my decision you won't be seeing much of me around here."

"Oh don't be dramatic Bella," Rose said walking in and standing beside Emmett.

I gave them all a loud grumble from my chest, "Why don't you stop and think of what it has felt like to be alone for the past one hundred years? Oh that's right you don't have to because you have never been alone! Well I have and I am sick of it! I have been searching for someone for almost an entire century and now that I have found him I am not going to let a bunch of selfish vampires stop me from having him!"

I bolted out the nearest window and ran as fast as I could to Edward's house. I wasn't sure what I would say to him when he found me in his room, but I needed to see him – to be in his arms. He still had his window cracked open so I was able to easily slip through it. He wasn't in there but I did hear the shower running. I laid on my side on his bed and listened to him in the shower. I could hear his breathing and every movement he made. He turned the water off and opened the bathroom door. I braced myself for a shocked look or scream.

The handle twisted on his bedroom door and it swung open. He walked in with just a towel wrapped around his waist, "Bella!"

I sat up, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you." I said placing my hand over my eyes.

He sat down next to me on the bed. I breathed in his delicious scent that poured off his body. "What are you doing here? How did you get in here?"

I kept my hand over my eyes and pointed with my head, "The window."

"Okay…" he mumbled. I felt him stand up, "Give me one minute."

He left his bedroom and was back in record time. "I really am sorry Edward, it's just that my brothers and sisters ganged up on me telling me I couldn't see you and I just can't take it anymore. I knew I had to get out of there."

"And you came here… through my second story window?"

I nodded, "It was open." I threw my arms around his neck. "By the way my parents want to meet you on Sunday," I muttered into his chest.

He lifted my chin with his fingers, "Bella there is something you're not telling me."

"It is something I can't tell you Edward. It is a family secret. I wish I could though… it is killing me that I can't tell you."

He kissed me gently on the lips, "I can respect that Bella. But why would they all hate me so quickly?"

"It's complicated. You aren't like us and they just don't like it. It is all ridiculous."

"But your parents want to meet me?"

I nodded, "They are excited to meet my boyfriend."

He took my face into his hands, "Is that what we are?" he said smiling. He pressed his lips to mine again and laid me down next to him. "Bella, would you be my girlfriend?"

I kissed him back in response and rolled myself onto him, "Edward Swan, I thought you would never ask." He slid his hands down my back and underneath my shirt. I felt him fiddling with the clasp on my bra and I didn't want him to stop. I kissed down his jaw line and back up it. "Do you want me Edward?" I breathed.

"Oh yes, very much so Bella."

"I don't want to hurt you though Edward," I said rolling off him.

He rolled over onto me and brought his lips to mine again. "You won't hurt me Bella," he murmured.

I pushed him hard off of me and he about flew off the bed, "Yes I will. You don't know Edward… I want to tell you so much... I can't get lost in my emotions – ever!"

He was rubbing his chest where I had placed my hands to push him, "Ouch."

"I'm sorry. I told you I didn't want to hurt you."

He laid back down beside me and I placed my head on his chest. "Bella?"

"Yes?"

"I do want you, you know. But I can wait until you are ready."

"Thank you."

He fell asleep around midnight. I laid there and stared at him while he slept. There were a couple times during the first few hours where I thought he had woken up. He mumbled my name once and rolled over and said he loved me. When he was in his deep sleep I slid out his window and ran back to my house for a change of clothes. No one was around when I jumped into my room through the open double doors. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a sweater for tomorrow and Sunday and threw them into my book bag with some other things.

"Bella, may I come in?"

I turned around to face her, "What do you want now Alice?"

"Bella, please. I'm so sorry for putting you through this. I thought about what you said and you are right. I have no reason to talk about what I think is right for you because I'm not you. I was lucky for Jasper to find me and Rose was lucky she found Emmett. I'm happy that you have finally found you someone that you can love like we do."

I ran over to her and wrapped her into a hug, "Thank you Alice. You have no idea how much that means to me."

"And Jasper is following my lead, so you don't need to worry about us for Sunday. We will be on our best behavior."

"I appreciate that Alice."

"I'm interested to meet him too," Emmett said walking in and slapping me on the back. A normal slap like that would break someone's shoulder, but I just laughed.

"Thanks guys. That means a lot to me. I really do think you will like him… I know I do."

Emmett left and Alice took me by the arm, "Just please remember what I said about you know what. He is only human after all."

"I'll try Alice, but you don't know what his kisses taste like. I lose all sense of control when I am close to him like that."

"Channel the excesses," she smiled.

I ran back to him and he was still asleep. I sat next to him on the bed and I ran my fingers through his hair and stroked his face while he laid there in a dreamless sleep. All his worry lines were smoothed out on his face and he looked so breathtakingly beautiful. "I love you," I murmured kissing his forehead.

He rolled over onto his back and opened his eyes, "Bella?"

"I'm still here Edward, sshhh, go back to sleep."

"I need you next to me," he whispered. He reached for my hand, "Bella you're freezing!" He sat up and took both of my hands into his. He breathed on them and rubbed them together while I stared at him. "What?"

"You're beautiful," I said looking down at the comforter.

He took my face into his hands, "I think you are in some need of sleep Bella if you think I'm beautiful. You are the one that takes my breath away."

"You said something like that while you were sleeping," I breathed.

"Oh no, what did you hear?"

"Only that you loved me."

He kissed me on the lips, "I do love you Bella."

I kissed him back, pressing him down onto the bed. His skin was melting under my touch. I rubbed my hands up his stomach and chest, taking off his shirt. I kissed down his chest and abs, my hands pulling on his pants. I could feel his growing member under his briefs. I kissed back up his body until I found his lips. "I want to make you feel good Edward. Just relax," I whispered.

I kissed his lips over and over while my fingers worked on pulling down his pants and briefs. I took him into my hand and his body reacted to my touch. A small moan escaped his lips and he thrusted his hips upward into my hand. I tighten my grip and worked my hand on him. I ran my tongue down the middle of him until I reached his Bella button. I then pecked small kisses all around his groin.

"Oh Bella," he breathed.

I released him from my hand and licked him up and down before taking him into my mouth. I worked my mouth slowly down his shaft and watched him throw his head back. He dug his fingers into the mattress as I began sucking him harder and harder. I tongued his tip while massaging him with my hand again then put my mouth back on him. I sucked him up and down over and over… I knew he couldn't take much longer, considering this was his first real blow job.

"Bella, I think you need to stop. I feel all funny."

"Just let go Edward, let go. Trust me," I murmured.

I opened my mouth and took him further in than he had ever been. I used my teeth to nibble on him a little bit. I was very careful when I started sucking on him harder, but it was just enough. He was oozing out – about to blow. I took him back into my hand and moved my mouth to the tip of him again. I rubbed him up and down in my hand and watch him throw his head back and let loose. He squirted his load into my mouth with a loud moan.

I laid down beside him, but kept him in my hand for a nice cool down. "I love you too, you know."

He turned his head to look at me, "Bella you are simply, unbelievably, amazing. I didn't know anything like that could feel so good."

"Thanks for letting me be your first, Edward. I'm glad you trusted me."

He rolled over, pulling his briefs and pants up as he did, and cupped my face, "I don't have words Bella. There are no words for how I feel right now."

"Sshhh, sleep Edward. You need your sleep."

"Don't leave me though, please stay with me."

"I'm not going anywhere," I said smiling. I rolled him onto my shoulder, smashing a pillow in between his head and my body. He snuggled into me and I held him close to me. I wrapped the blankets around him and he quickly fell asleep.

The morning light came through the window and I heard his dad get up and go downstairs. He opened a closet door and then went out to start his car. He pulled out of the drive and I felt Edward roll away from me and stretch. I slid from his bed and stood next to it. I grabbed my book bag and jetted to the bathroom where I changed and was back in his room before he had gotten up.

I tossed my book bag on the floor, "So what do you want to do today?"

He threw his arms behind his head and smiled at me, "Just as long as I am with you Bella, I could care less what we do."

"Do you want to just hang out here?"

He sat up and looked around, "My dad already leave?" I nodded. "Well then let's grab some breakfast and just relax. You don't mind if I do some chores and laundry do you?"

"Not at all Edward. Do what you would normally do on a Saturday."

He shook his head and got up. He pulled me into his arms, "That was the best night's sleep I think I have ever had." He pressed his lips to mine and wrapped his arms tightly around my lower waist. "What would you like for breakfast?"

"Oh I'm no hungry Edward. You worry about you, okay?"

He pulled back to look at me, "Bella you didn't eat anything for supper and you're not hungry now?"

"It's complicated Edward, but I'm fine I promise."

He picked up his shirt that was still on the floor from last night and put it on. He grabbed my hand and led me to the kitchen. He scrambled himself some eggs and ate them quickly. I watched him meticulously clean all the dishes and wipe down the counters and table. That Saturday I helped him clean up the place and we finished our homework. We talked and discussed Sunday and meeting my parents and I mentioned that I should officially meet his dad as well. It was nice just hanging out with someone I genuinely cared about. I got to know him, and it made me think how badly I wanted to tell him my secret.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 3: Desires revealed**

**(Edward Swan)**

Bella didn't eat the whole day and I was really getting worried. She kept telling me it was complicated and that I shouldn't be concerned but how could I not? My dad still wasn't home from fishing so I decided to make some supper.

"Are you sure you don't want anything Bella? I could make you something different."

"Edward, I'm okay… I promise," she said cupping my face in her hands. She kissed me on the lips, "I will always tell you the truth, you can trust me."

I kissed her back and forgot all about my supper sitting on the stove, "Then what do you eat?"

"I can't tell you that… remember my family secret?"

"Okay, okay." I turned back to my dinner on the stove, feeling confused as ever. She obviously didn't eat food and she hadn't drank anything either. She could jump through my two-story window without difficulty and her skin was always a little cooler than mine. I specifically remember her eyes being a flat black color the first day I met her and now they were a beautiful gold. She was strong too, I still was sore from where she had pushed me last night. She had warned me that she would hurt me if she wasn't concentrating…

"Edward?"

She interrupted my thoughts, "Yes Bella?"

"What are you thinking about?"

I strained my noodles and put them on a plate, covering them in sauce. "You."

"I wish you wouldn't," she murmured.

I sat down at the table and she copied me, "Why?"

"Because it would just be easier if you didn't."

"What is that supposed to mean Bella?"

"It doesn't mean anything. I'm sorry, just forget it." I ate my supper in silence for a while before she spoke again, "Do you mind if I make a phone call?"

"Not at all. You can use my room if you want some privacy."

"Thanks I think I will do that now if that's all right?"

I nodded and waited for her to shut my door. When I heard the click I grabbed the phone off the receiver and dialed my best friend's number. "Hello is Jake there?"

"Hello there Edward. I will get him for you."

"Thanks Billy." I waited for a minute for Billy to get him.

"Hey man, what's up?" Jake said in a tired voice.

"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you. Look I have something I want you to look up for me."

"Sure man no problem. What is it?"

"Well my girlfriend…"

He interrupted me, "Your girlfriend? Whoa man you need to catch me up!"

"Not now Jake, listen her name is Bella Cullen. She just moved down here from Alaska and I am a little concerned."

"That name sounds familiar to me, what do you want me to look up?"

"Alaskan eating habits, skin temperatures, and body strength. I mean she is hiding something from me and she keeps telling me it is a family secret."

I continued to quickly fill him in and we hung up just as Bella was coming down the steps. I raced back to my dinner and shoved a heap into my mouth. "Thanks. Sorry I needed to talk to my sister. She left me a message earlier to call her back."

I swallowed, "It's fine."

"I think your dad is home," she said sitting down across from me.

Moments later his cruiser pulled in and he stomped up the steps. Bella watched him with fascination as he stripped off his fishing gear and threw it all in the hall closet. He turned around and waved, "Hi kids."

I stood up and put my plate in the sink, "Um… dad." I cleared my throat and looked at Bella. "I would like to introduce you to Isabella Cullen, my girlfriend."

Bella gracefully stood and glided across the kitchen to shake my father's hand, "It is nice to meet you… again," she said laughing.

My dad winked at her, "Well it's about time son. I must say she sure is a beauty."

"Would you like me to make you something to eat Charlie?" Bella breathed.

I about fell over but my dad's face lit up, "You don't have to do that Bella. I can find something."

"Only if you're sure," she said hesitating.

"No, no. You kids go have fun."

He headed towards the refrigerator as I reached for Bella's hand. She took it and we headed upstairs. I shut my door and turned around to face her. She was sprawled across my bed on her stomach. "What was that about?"

"What Edward?"

"You offer to cook for my dad, but yet you don't eat anything?"

"Just because I don't eat food doesn't mean I don't know how to cook."

I sat down beside her and placed my hand on her back, "Bella I do wish you would tell me more."

She rolled onto her side and propped her head up with her hand. "You know I can't. It's not my secret to tell. Besides there are rules that I need to follow just like you."

I shook my head and reached for my book bag but her hand stopped me, "You know if I could tell anyone I would tell you. I love you Edward. You mean the world to me."

Those words always had an effect on me. I leaned back towards her and pressed my lips to hers. I pushed on her shoulder, causing her to roll onto her back. I carefully slid my body on top of hers and wrapped her into my arms. We laid there for awhile making out. I could feel myself getting hard so I rolled my hips into hers. I had no idea my dad was at the door until he opened it and cleared his throat.

Bella pushed on my chest and I flew off the side of the bed and landed with a loud thud on the floor, "Ouch," I mumbled.

"Sorry!" She said rushing to my side.

My dad stood there in the doorway with his arms crossed, "Edward I need to see you a moment downstairs."

I grumbled but stood up and followed him, "Dad are you going to allow me to explain or just yell?"

"Darn right I am going to yell!"

"Dad calm down," I groaned rolling my eyes.

"Just what exactly do you think you were doing up there?"

"We were just kissing dad."

"Just kissing? So you lying on top of her with your hands wrapped around her body, and rolling your hips into hers is just kissing?"

"Okay fine. We were making out."

"Don't you raise your voice to me young man."

"Dad, I wasn't raising my voice. Just calm down please. Look I'm sorry okay. I will keep my door open when I have Bella in my room from now on okay?"

"I don't want to ever see that kind of… well… I don't want see that again! Do you understand me?"

"Yes dad. You won't see it ever again, I promise."

"Good! I'll be watching the game," he mumbled.

I shuffled up the steps and to my room. Bella was sitting in my computer chair so I sat on my bed. She got up and I reached for her hands. I took ahold of them and pulled her into my lap, "I'm sorry you had to hear that Bella."

"I understand Edward. I wouldn't expect anything less from anyone else's parents."

"Would your dad react like that?"

"Probably not. He trusts me to make responsible decisions."

"You call that being responsible Bella? I sure don't."

She shrugged, "We weren't naked or anything."

"We might as well of been."

She placed her left hand on my cheek, "I am not going to apologize for showing you how I feel about you."

She gently brought her lips to mine. "I know Bella. I want to show you how I feel about you too."

That night Bella stayed again. She wrapped me in her arms, just like the night prior and I slept peacefully. My dream, however, was vivid and colorful. Bella's naked body stood in front of me. I caressed her with my hands and gave her pleasure with my fingers. We were lying naked wrapped in one another's arms, pressing our bodies closer and closer as we let out loud moans.

My eyes snapped open and I stared at the sunlight peeking in through my window. Bella swung around in my computer chair and smiled at me, "Your dad left about an hour ago."

I sat up and stared into her eyes. They seemed to be a little less golden today. "So what time is your family expecting us?"

"Whenever you want."

I took a shower and put on a pair of khaki's and a nice polo shirt. I spent a little extra time shaving and doing my hair. For some reason I was extremely nervous. Maybe it was the fact that her siblings didn't like me. She drove my car to her house, which was down a curvy lane off the highway back in the woods. I had her wait in the car while I got her door for her.

"Relax," she breathed kissing my cheek before opening the front door. We walked in and she took my jacket. She led me up the stairs, holding my hand firmly as we entered the living room. Her parents were standing by the opening ready to greet and meet me.

"You must be Edward. It is so nice to meet you. I'm Esme, Bella's mother."

"It's nice to meet you Mrs. Cullen," I said taking her hand.

"Oh please call me Esme, Edward."

"Edward, so glad you agreed to meet us today. I know how meeting parents can be. Please call me Carlisle. I'm Bella's father."

"It is a pleasure sir."

Bella squeezed my hand and let me toward the circle of couches. We sat down across from who I could only assume were her siblings. "This is Emmett and Rosalie and Alice and Jasper." Bella said pointing to the four individuals from left to right.

"It's nice to meet you all. Bella has told me a little bit about each of you."

"I bet she has," Rosalie snipped. Emmett reached for her hand but she pulled away and stood up. "Now if you'll excuse me some of us still have homework to do."

Emmett got up to follow her but turned around to face me before leaving, "I'm sorry Edward. Please excuse us both. It was nice to finally, officially meet you."

I looked to Bella but she just rolled her eyes. "Why don't I show you around the house?" She said pulling on my arms as she gracefully lifted herself from the couch. She showed me the massive kitchen and then down a hallway where the bedrooms were. We reached the end of hall and she just stood in the doorway of the last room, "Well, um… this is my room," she said moving aside and letting me look inside.

I walked to the bookshelves filled with music, "Wow Bella. You have a lot of music." I turned to her stereo and hit play. A beautiful guitar sound filled the room followed by a familiar artists' voice. "You like Taylor Swift?"

"Well this sound just reminds me of you. I have been listening to it on repeat for the last month."

I shut my eyes and listen to the lyrics: _You lift my feet off the ground, spin me around. You make me crazier, crazier. Feels like I'm falling and I, I'm lost in your eyes. You make me crazier, crazier, crazier._

"I love it Bella. It's perfect." She hit a button and the song began to play again. I reached for her hands and wrapped them around my neck. I placed my hands on her hips and started slowly moving around the room. We danced twice through _Crazier_ by Taylor Swift, kissing one another. She unlocked her hands from my neck and pulled me towards the bed. She fell onto the comforter on her back and reached for my hands.

I laid myself on top of her and we started right where we had left off in my bedroom only a few hours prior to this. I dug my hips into hers and kissed her fiercely on the lips. "I love you Bella," I murmured. I pulled my face from hers, "You are so beautiful." I kissed down her neck and moved my hands to the buttons of her shirt. I quickly got through all of them before she stopped me.

She slid out from under me, "I can't do this Edward. I'm sorry."

She sat herself up on the edge of the bed and I copied her, "It's okay Bella. I can wait for you."

She lifted her hands to her face, "It isn't that I don't want you, I do. I just can't hurt you Edward. I told you I can't get wrapped up in my emotions. I need to stay focused or you'll get hurt."

"Bella, you won't hurt me. I trust you." She stood up and turned off her stereo before facing me. I stared at her body. Her shirt was still open from where I had undone her buttons. She had a beautiful white lace bra on and just looking at her made my heart stop.

She noticed my stare and quickly buttoned her shirt up, "Yes I will hurt you. I'm stronger than you are. Do you have any idea how much pain I would be in if I did something horrible to you?" I can't take that kind of risk with you Edward, you mean too much to me."

I stood and tried to pry her hands from her face. It was like pulling on a statue, "Okay so I get your strength part, but Bella you couldn't hurt me if you tried."

She grabbed my shirt and ripped it open, "Oh yea?" She said pointing to the two subtle bruises right where she had pushed me off her the previous night in my room.

I grabbed her hands and held them in mine, "That's nothing Bella."

"If I would have pushed you any harder you would have cracked ribs right now." She pulled her hands from mine and ran out of her room.

I stood there, dazed for awhile. I figured she would come back eventually. I wanted to go and find her but I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach. I went over to her desk and sat down in her chair. There was a notebook of some kind open on the keys of her laptop. After a glance at it I realized it wasn't a notebook, it was her diary. The last entry was dated for Friday:

_I just can't take it anymore. Even after a month he is driving me crazy. I have never in my one century of existence felt this way for a human before. But I can't tell him the one thing that I am desperately longing to. Sometimes I hate my secret. I just want to scream out… I Am Not Human. He is beautiful and for once I do not want to kill him. I only want to love him and be loved in return._

I reread it over and over. Not human? Doesn't want to kill me? A century of existence? I stood up and hurried down the hallway, bumping into Emmett on my way. "Oh sorry Emmett, have you seen Bella?" He just shook his head, staring at my ripped shirt. "Could you please tell her that I'm sorry? I need to get home."

"No problem Edward."

"Thanks," I said as I jetted down the stairs. I grabbed my coat and ran out to my car. I was opening the car door when I heard her call my name. She came running around from the side of the house.

She stopped at the hood of the car and stared at me, "Edward. Please don't go. I'm sorry, just come back inside and we can talk about this."

"No Bella. I really need to get home. I sorry, but I just can't right now." I slid into the seat and started the engine. I was on the highway within seconds and pulled into my driveway a few minutes later. I took the steps two at a time and turned on my computer, throwing my coat on the bed. I was typing into the search engine when the phone rang. I considered just letting it ring but went down to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Oh Edward I'm glad you're home man!"

"Hey Jake I'm kind of busy right now, can I call you back?"

"I have information for you though!"

I had completely forgotten about our previous conversation the other night. "That's right. Sorry man, go ahead."

"Well let me tell you that Alaskans are no different from us at all, so I went off her last name and came up with nothing. My dad kept bugging me about what I was doing and when I told him the last name he about fell out of his wheelchair. He remembered it from a story his father told him. You know how our tribe has legends from where we came from right?"

"Of course man. You're dad use to scare us when we were little with some of those stories."

"Do you remember the one about the cold ones?"

The blood drained from my face. I remembered exactly the story he was talking about… it kept me up when I was little. I refused to sleep without my night light on for like three months. "Thanks Jake."

"If I were you Edward, I would break up with your girlfriend," Jake mentioned before hanging up.

I went back up to my room and typed in cold ones. I read about ten different websites and nothing seemed to fit. She was so kind and gentle and these websites only talked about the blood-slaughtering that vampires did. She was strong, immortal, didn't eat food, and had the ability to jump through second-story windows. But she had never once tried to harm me, in fact she was trying her hardest to protect me, that was why she didn't want to get close to me.

"This is ridiculous," I muttered turning off my computer. Here I was sitting in my room researching vampires when I had a beautiful girlfriend. "It doesn't matter. I love her," I whispered to myself.

I went back out to my car and drove to her house. I was amazed that I was able to find it by myself. I got out of the car and rang the doorbell.

Carlisle answered the door, "Is Bella here sir?"

"I believe she is in her room Edward. Go on up," he said smiling and patting me on the back.

Her door was shut so I opened it and peeked my head in, "Bella?" She was at her desk with her headphones on, writing in her diary. I walked in and shut the door behind me. I sat on the edge of her bed, "Bella?"

Her head snapped up and she turned around to face me, taking the headphones from her ears. "What are you doing here?"

"I need to tell you what happened, why I left like I did."

"Go on then," she said keeping her eyes down.

"I was sitting where you are now and you had your diary open to Friday's entry. I'm sorry Bella but it just, well… I don't know."

Her face showed no emotion, "So you came to break up with me then? You know my secret and want out before I hurt you."

I crossed over to her and took her face into my hands. I tried moving it so that I could look into her eyes, "Okay now I understand about you being strong." I lowered myself until I was at her eye level, she still wouldn't meet mine. "I love you Bella. It's doesn't matter to me. I fell in love with you, not what you are."

That made her look into my eyes, "It doesn't matter?"

I placed my lips against hers, "I love you Bella. You are going to have to kill me to get rid of me."

She winced at my choice of words but brought her lips to mine, "I could never hurt you. You mean too much to me Edward."

She stood and pushed me onto the bed, throwing herself on top of me. Her lips pressed against mine with passion and urge. My shirt was still ripped allowing her to run her hands up and down the front of my body. I maneuvered my fingers so I could reach the buttons of her shirt and quickly unfastened them. Our skin molded together like fire and ice. I ran my hands up and down her back as she rolled her hips into mine causing me to let out small moans.

"Seriously Bella?" Alice said leaning against the doorway. "No wonder Esme sent me."

Bella ignored her and didn't roll off me, "What do you want Alice?" she groaned in between kisses.

"Ugh. I just came to tell you that Esme can order Chinese for Edward when he gets hungry."

I heard the door slam shut and Bella got up from the bed and locked her door and was back on top of me within a second. I stared wide-eyed at her and she just laughed, "I'm fast too."

I held her face in my hands, "You are amazing."

"Are you hungry yet?" she murmured kissing me again.

"Only for you," I whispered.

She rolled off me, "Edward I told you we can't. I even spoke to my father about it. I could kill you Edward if I am not paying attention for just a split second."

"You talked to Carlisle about us?" I was mortified. My father would probably not let us sit on the same bed and her father was comfortable talking about sex with her?

"I needed to know what was possible. You have to realize how much I want you too."

I rolled myself on top of her, "I do Bella. I can feel it in your kiss, your touch, the way you look at me." I pressed my lips against hers.

She kissed me for a few minutes before responding. "You're too desirable for your own good," she muttered. "I should probably find you a new shirt. Sorry about that."

She slid out from under me and I groaned, "Why do you tease me like that Bella?"

She turned around and kissed me deeply on the lips, "Because I like to feel you rub against me too."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 4: The proposition**

**(Bella Cullen)**

Monday morning came way too fast. I wanted to stay wrapped in Edward's arms but I had to get back to my house before Charlie, his dad, found us. He wasn't precisely aware of my spending the night. "I'll see you at school," I said kissing him good bye.

I had never felt so much love for someone before. My entire existence had been restraint and loneliness. I had never attached myself to one specific person before and I was starting to depend on seeing him regularly. When he pulled into the school parking lot everyone was staring at me. I was leaning casually against Emmett's jeep and he came right up to me, wrapped his arms around me and kissed me. We took one another by the hand and walked in to face the whispers and rumors. I could hear everything and laughed at some of the ridiculous concepts people were coming up with.

"What's so funny?" he said smiling at me.

We reached his locker and I pushed him up against it kissing him again, "There are some pretty interesting rumors floating around," I murmured against his cheek.

"You have great hearing too don't you?"

I kissed him once more, "See you at lunch," I said walking away, smiling to myself.

I was sitting in English when I heard his voice coming in loud and clear, "I can't explain how she makes me feel Mike. She is everything to me."

"You've only been dating her what, two days?" Mike responded.

"I love her Mike. She isn't like anyone I have ever met before."

"Then what was with how she treated you all last month?"

"She was fighting her feelings for me that's what. She wanted acceptance from her siblings too. Their opinions mean a great deal to her."

"I'd say so. You're lucky Emmett hasn't knocked you into next week. Have you seen how big he is?"

"I was at her house all day yesterday Mike, yes I know exactly how big he is."

"Everything thinks you are crazy. You and Jessica just broke up."

"I never felt for Jessica the way I feel for Bella, Mike. She is simply wonderful in every way."

"So then you won't mind if I ask Jess out?"

"Not at all man… I have myself a girlfriend."

I was smiling as I walked into the lunchroom. He was waiting for me and we sat together in the same table we had last Friday. "How was English?"

"I figured you heard all that."

"You mean everything to me too you know?"

"I know Bella."

"But I don't think you grasp the concept of how long I have waited for you."

"That doesn't seem fair," he muttered. "I'm not anything special."

I reached across the table and took ahold of his hands, "You don't realize how special you really are Edward?"

"Enlighten me then."

"Later… after school. Now is really not the place, besides we have company." I let go of his hands.

"Hey so are you sitting over here from now on?" Mike said taking a seat next to Edward.

Edward glanced at me, "Sure I guess."

"So how are you today Mike?" I asked.

He looked rather shocked but answered me anyway, "I'm doing good Bella. Excited for Friday I can tell you that."

"That's right the dance. You're taking Jessica right?"

He swallowed a bite of his food, "Um… yea."

I eyed him, "You like her don't you?"

He flushed deep red and turned to Edward, "Don't look at me man I haven't said a thing to anyone."

"I see how you look at her. But then again the way she looks at Edward is what is holding you back."

"I think she still likes him, even though it was an amicable break up."

I turned so I could get a good look at Jessica. She wasn't facing me but she had her body turned outward as if she had been looking at our table. She was discussing something with Angela then they both turned to look at me and immediately turned around when they saw me looking at them as well. I laughed, "I think she will say yes if you plan it just right Mike. She has seen Edward and me and she is realizing that he no longer holds interest in her."

"You really think so?"

"Yes, but I think you will have been odds if you start sitting next to her at lunch. Pay attention to what she is saying, making comments on it so she knows you are listening and on Friday… don't forget the flowers."

"Wow, thanks Bella," he said getting up. "I will see you both in Biology."

Edward reached for my hands and kissed them, "That was really nice of you. Do you think he has a shot?"

"If you kiss me in the middle of the lunchroom, then yes."

He stood up and took the chair next to me. He cupped his hands around my face and brought my lips to his. The entire lunchroom flew into a frenzy as he pressed his lips to mine once, twice, a third time. "I love you Isabella Cullen."

The bell rang and we stood, hands intertwined, and walked to Biology. "Nice Swan!" Mike said as we walked by his lab table. We took our seats and Mr. Molina brought in the tv cart. The class moaned as he turned off the lights and started the DVD on cellular structure. I didn't want to watch the tv so I turned my head to face Edward. The lights flickering on his face aroused me. He turned his head slightly in my direction and winked at me.

The entire class period I stared at him and thought of nothing but his naked body pressing against mine. I closed my eyes and imagined his kisses, his touches against my skin. I reached over and grasped his hand, rubbing his palm and back of his hand with my fingertips. He closed his eyes and fidgeted in his seat. I looked down at the growing bulge in his pants and let his hand drop. He kept his eyes closed for a moment longer. When he opened them he looked at me and smiled.

That afternoon we were sitting at the kitchen table doing our homework, "So about how special I am?" He said hinting at our lunch conversation.

I laid my pencil down and folded my fingers under my chin, "You are extremely special to me."

"Come on Bells, you said you would tell me later."

I closed my eyes, "I don't think you realize how strange it was for me that first day. I'm used to ignoring my thirst. I've practiced feeding on animal blood for almost a century now and still there are humans out there that make me almost forget about my control. Their blood smells so intoxicating that it is like a drug I must have. Then I meet you."

He winced and I reached for his hands, "You didn't smell appealing to me at all. It was like a sensor had been shut off. For a second I thought you were one of us. I don't have to worry about my thirst around you… you make me feel almost human sometimes."

"Is that a good thing?"

"That is an amazing thing. That's how I can be close to you with ease. I still need to control myself though, you don't know how fragile you really are."

"So you have no urge to drink my blood?"

"Not really. I have never come across anything like this, that is why I was so rude to you that first day. I thought you were sent to torture me, to make me think that everything has just been in my head all these years. But then after much consideration and discussing with Carlisle I realized that I had to get to know you."

"My siblings couldn't figure out why I was so fascinated with you, and they didn't believe me when I told them. It took Carlisle to convince them, but Rosalie is still out on that verdict. That month was simply agony. I so badly wanted to talk to you, but I didn't trust myself yet."

"So then what caused you to finally end the silent treatment?"

"I couldn't resist you anymore Edward. I cared so much about you and I only hoped that you felt the same. That first night that I stayed with you, you said you loved me while you were sleeping and I knew that was it."

"Do you trust yourself now?" he said inching closer to me.

I only nodded as he brought his lips to mine. "You are a rare breed Edward. For me to not want taste your blood is something that not even Carlisle can explain."

"I can," he said. "We're meant to be together." He brought his lips to mine again but we pulled away quickly when we heard the cruiser pull into the driveway. Charlie came in and stared at us for a brief moment.

"Hey kids! Doing homework?"

Edward looked up at him, "Supper is in the oven and should be done in a few minutes dad."

"Are you joining us for supper Bella? You are always welcome to."

"Thanks Charlie but I had better get home."

Edward looked at me with a sad look on his face, "You sure you won't stay longer?"

"Help me get my book bag?" I said as I stood and started walking up the steps.

He followed me, "Do you really have to go Bella?"

I turned around and wrapped my arms around him, kissing him on the lips, "I will be back tonight. Alice wants to go hunting."

His shoulders fell, "It's hard for me to let you go."

I lifted his chin with my finger, "I won't be long. I will be back soon."

He nodded and followed me back down the steps with my book bag in his hands. He set it on the kitchen table for me and helped me pack it up. Alice was waiting in the driveway so I kissed him goodbye and waved to him as he stood on the porch watching me drive away.

"Clingy isn't he?" Alice snickered.

"I wouldn't have it any other way and you know that Alice." We rode in silence for a moment, "Alice can I ask you something?"

"Sure Bella."

"Remember when I let you read my thoughts the other day. Well I was wondering if you knew when?"

She groaned, "It's hard to say because you keep changing your mind on that."

"What's it like Alice?"

She looked at me and smiled, "It is unbelievable. To be that close to someone who you truly love is completely amazing. The way you touch one another and the electricity that flies between your bodies cannot be put into words."

"You don't think I am crazy any more for thinking about that do you?"

She shook her head, "No. I see the way you look at one another. You two have a serious connection that runs deep. It's like you have been together for decades."

"Do you think it is possible for me to control the excesses and not hurt him?" I let my shield go and let Alice concentrate. It was a few minutes before she answered me.

"It will be tricky. I'm not saying you won't leave marks or bruises, but as far as hurt him… I don't think that is possible because you care about him so much. Your subconscious won't let you hurt him."

That night Alice and I caught our prey quickly. Edward was just getting ready to go to bed when I climbed through his window, "Jesus! Bella you scared me."

"Sorry," I breathed sitting on the edge of his bed. He was on his computer typing an email to his mom, "Are you going to tell her about me?"

"What do you think I am doing right now?" he said smiling at me. "You know she will want to meet you, considering you are my first girlfriend that I have told her about."

"Why Edward I am shocked!" I said laughing at him.

He launched himself from where he was sitting and I laid flat on the bed so he could land on top of me… I didn't want him to break his neck when he knocked into me.

He pressed his body against mine and I immediately thought of the conversation I had just had with Alice. I kissed him quickly on the lips, "I have a proposition for you."

"Oh you do?" he said kissing me back while digging his hips into mine.

Feeling him against my groin almost made me lose concentration, "I want you too Edward, but I think we need to wait."

He groaned and rolled off me, "Because you'll hurt me?" he muttered.

I rolled on top of him and brought his lips to mine, "No because I want the timing to be right. I want the moment to be perfect for us."

He stared at me puzzled, "When did you change your mind on this subject?"

"When I realized that I couldn't hurt you if I really focused on how much I love you."

The passion deepened in his green eyes, "I want it to be right too Bella."

I rolled off him but cuddled into his shoulder until he fell asleep. He muttered that he loved me over and over that night. I lost count how many times he said my name too. When morning came I kissed him and told him I would see him at school. The next few days flew by and before we realized it, Friday was on top of us.

I had thought long and hard about making our first time special between us so I decided to rent a limo and get a hotel room for Friday night. "Can you tell your dad you are staying at Mike's tonight?"

"Why would I lie to my dad Bella?"

"Because I asked you to. I have a surprise for you tonight, but it requires us to be completely alone and we can't be that at my house or yours."

"All right." He didn't seem to catch onto my plan, which was good. I wanted him to take in the moment completely that night.

"Pick me up at five, okay?"

"Why so early?"

"So we can go out to eat silly."

"But Bella…"

I cut him off, "I want to make this a date Edward and you are making it extremely difficult."

"Okay, see you then."

After school I drove home and Alice helped me get ready for the dance, "I don't see why you are going to all this trouble for a simple Valentine's Day Dance Bella."

"I want it to be right for him. Besides I want to see his eyes bulge and jaw drop when he sees me in this dress."

I twirled around in front of the mirror. My hair was half pulled back in bobby-pins and it was curly down to my mid back. My deep blue satin dress hugged my body in all the right places. It wasn't too low cut, but it showed just enough cleavage. The back however was cut just above my hips. It had a beautiful sequined piece that kept it together in the back. The dress flowed out at about mid-thigh range but it wasn't anything drastic.

I heard him pull up and get out. Carlisle was there to open the door for him. As soon as he stepped in through the doorway I descended the staircase. He was absolutely speechless.

"You look handsome," I breathed kissing him on the lips.

"Wow, Bella you look… wow."

I giggled, "Thank you." He handed me flowers from behind his back, a beautiful red dozen roses. "Oh Edward, they're beautiful."

"They don't even come close to your beauty tonight," he said wrapping me in his arms and placing his lips against mine.

Carlisle cleared his throat and Esme came running in with a camera, "Picture!" she squealed.

I leaned against him and we smiled as the camera flashed. "You two have a great night. We will see you tomorrow," Carlisle said.

I slipped on my coat and I took his arm, "Why thank you sir."

We stepped on to the front step as the limo pulled up, "Bella?"

"Only the first part of the surprise," I said kissing him on the cheek. We climbed in and headed off to our restaurant. "I made reservations for us."

"You really do look stunning tonight Bella."

"I wanted to look good for you."

He brought his lips to mine. We arrived at our next destination and were seated immediately. When the bill arrived I slipped Edward some cash, "Carlisle wanted us to have a good night," I whispered.

When we arrived at the school, all eyes were on us. The girls envied my dress and all the guys wanted to be Edward. We danced all night long, wrapped in one another's arms. I did see Mike and Jessica holding each other pretty close on the last dance and I swore I saw them kiss at the very end of the song. Edward went to get my jacket and we headed back out to our limo.

"Where to now?" he asked.

"Now that is definitely a surprise." He stared at me in curiosity. When the limo driver opened the door and Edward saw the hotel sign, he turned to me.

"Bella?"

"I told you I wanted it to be perfect."

We checked in and Edward's eyes lit up when he opened the hotel room door.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 5: Completely Perfect**

**(Edward Swan)**

The night had been absolutely perfect. Bella looked radiant and unbelievably sexy. I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have a girlfriend who loved me so much. When I opened the hotel room door I just stood there. About twenty or so tall candles lit the room. Bella walked into the room and turned around to face me, "Are you going to stand there all night?" she said stripping off her dress.

She wore nothing but a beautiful white thong. I shut the door behind me, took two long strides and wrapped her into my arms. "Are you sure you want this Bella?" I whispered kissing her lips.

"I want you Edward. I want to experience everything with you."

My hands caressed her naked bottom, squeezing and massaging it as I kissed down her neck. I stopped just at her collarbone, "I love you Bella," I murmured against her skin.

She lifted my face to hers and pressed her lips to mine. Her fingers quickly unfastened the buttons of my shirt as I untucked it. She ran her hands up my back pressing our bodies tightly together. I felt my erection press against her thigh causing me to let out a small moan. I took of my neck tie and slid my arms free from my shirt, letting it drop to the floor.

I leaned down to kiss her breasts, flicking my tongue against her hardening nipples. She whimpered at my touch and tossed her head back in pleasure as I took her nipple into my mouth. She arched her back as I sucked hungrily. Her hands dug into my back and I ran my teeth over her hardened bud, biting it ever so gently. My gentle bites were followed by teasing licks as I ran my tongue down to her Bella button and kissing her right above her hips.

I moved her to the bed, where I laid her on her back. I trailed my hand down her stomach, following with my lips, placing feather light kisses down her body. I massaged and rubbed at her inner thighs allowing my fingers to slip under her thong and pull it down, throwing it behind me. My lips crawled seductively along her inner thighs and I blew across her sex as my lips transitioned from one leg to the other. This caused her hips to thrash and squirm. I kissed her inner thighs again and again, up and down, getting ever so close to her sopping pussy.

I picked a choice spot on her inner thigh, very close to her sex, and sucked it, marking the delicate skin with passion. Then I did the same thing to the opposite side, marking her again. My light kissed inched their way closer to her pussy and her hips arched in anticipation. Without any warning I buried my mouth into her sex. My tongue licked the folds of her wet pussy and skillfully parted them, licking all around.

Her loud moaning encouraged me and I thrusted my tongue into the depths of her. I savored the taste of her honey as it flowed into my mouth. I moved my tongue upward across her clit, "Edward!" She screamed as I pressed my mouth around her pleasure center.

Sucking it in my mouth, I drove her closer and closer to the edge. I sucked and pulled on her clitoris with my lips then laid my tongue flat against her sensitive bud to feel the tremors rise through her as she began to climax. Her thighs squeezed around my face and she came hard and I continued to suck gently as she rode through the last waves of passion.

"Oh Edward," she moaned as I kissed back up her body until I found her lips. Her fingers reached for my belt buckle and my pants were off in record time. I pressed my hardening cock against her groin allowing ourselves to moan as we continued to kiss. I felt her hands slide down my back and rip at my briefs, "Sorry," she muttered. I was completely naked lying on top of her, rolling my hips into hers.

She rolled me off her and sat right above my hips staring down at me. She leaned down to kiss me and moved her hand to my shaft, rubbing it slightly. She lifted it up and slid herself down on me. She sat there a moment, taking deep, slow breaths before she opened her eyes and leaned down to kiss me again. She began to slowly ride me, swaying her breasts in front of me. I reached up and took them into my hands, taking turns kissing and nibbling on them. She started to get more intense as she bounced up and down, slamming my even more hardening cock into her depths.

I moved my hands from her breasts to her hips and helped her rise and fall on me over and over again. My hands squeezed at her skin when I was starting to lose it. She leaned down to kiss me on the lips, "Come with me," she whispered. She bucked against my hips causing me to thrust myself upward as our loud moans overtook us. Still in her, she laid her head on my chest and rolled her hips in tiny circles as I rubbed her back and kissed her forehead.

"I love you Bella."

She sat up, "I love you to Edward." She slid herself off me and laid by my side, cuddling into my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her and places tiny kisses on her head. "Would you like to take a bath with me?"

She rolled off the bed and took me by the hand into the very large and spacious bathroom. I turned on the water, which started the jets. As the tub filled rapidly, she poured some of the bubble bath into the water. I slid in first as she sat on the edge of the tub for a while watching me relax in the hot, soapy water. I reached around to cub her breasts, feeling her nipples harden in my palm. She let out a soft moan and arched her back as I licked down her spine.

I slid my hands down her sides and pulled her into the tub between my legs. I kissed her neck, while my fingers smoothed bubbles around on her shoulders and arms. She squirmed in between my legs in no time and took a wash cloth and sensuously washed my legs. She turned slightly to wash my chest and dripped soapy bubbles down my back. After we washed and soaked a bit, she pulled the drain plug.

"Are we finished, already?" I asked.

"No, baby! This is just the beginning," she said smiling.

As the water drained, she reached to the vanity and got a bottle of lube. She put some in her hands and then coated my member. It was so slick and slippery. Then she gave me the bottle and she turned away from me. She got on her knees, putting her hands on the edge of the tub. She let go with one hand to pull on a cheek, opening her crack and revealing her virgin rosebud.

"Are you sure you want this Bella?"

She only smiled back at me so I moved my knees behind her. I placed one hand on her hip as I guided my manhood into her virgin entrance. She pushed against me and I slowly entered her. I stayed motionless letting her get use to me. I reached around to massage her breasts and stomach as I eased a bit more of myself inside.

"Oh Edward," she moaned.

I eased more my cock into her and slid my hand down to her lower lips, between the folds. I slid two fingers inside her womanhood and I buried the rest of myself inside her. After I was sure she was ready, I started slowly sliding in and out. My fingers moved in perfect harmony with my hips. I held her steady with my hand, moving it to her shoulder as I picked up speed. She continued to match my rhythm and I thrusted my fingers in and out of her faster as well.

I stroked her pleasure center with my thumb as I worked my magic fingers in and out of her hot box. My moaning and groaning became quite pronounced and she knew I was close. She thrusted her bottom back, meeting my advances. My fingers quickly brought her to the point of no return. We both came together, moaning loudly.

I pulled slowly out. As she sat back in the tub, I pulled me back onto my lap, wrapping my arms and legs around her. She laid back on my shoulder and closed her eyes, enjoying my light touches as my fingers roamed. After a few moments she stood and I copied her. I wrapped her in a towel and swept her off her feet carrying her back out to the bed.

I placed her on the edge of the bed and she fell onto her back. I ripped the towel off her and lifted her legs so they pressed against my chest. I plunged myself back into her moistening pussy, causing her to moan and dig her nails into the bedding. I pumped into her harder and harder, going deeper than she had allowed me before. She began pushing her hips against mine when I surged forward into her. Her moans grew louder as we pounded against one another over and over.

I felt her muscles tighten around mine and I knew she was on the verge of letting loose, so I slowed my rhythm and pulled out of her. I let her legs fall and placed my hands on her hips. I carefully rolled her over and guided her hips back up to me. She slid in with ease and immediately began pummeling against my hips. I threw my head back with a loud moan as we both unloaded our deepest pleasures. I continued to slowly pull in and out of her until she fell onto her stomach.

I laid down on my side beside her, propping my head up with my hand. I rubbed my free hand on her back, caressing her back side. She eventually rolled to her side to face me and I leaned in to kiss her on the lips. "You were simply amazing," I murmured.

She pressed her lips to mine and slid herself on top of me, digging her hips into my groin, "Who said I was finished?"

That night we got very little sleep. We moved from the bed to the shower where I slammed her against the shower walls, pressing our bodies tightly together. The hot steamy water created more friction between our bodies, giving us more passionate kisses and touches. When I did sleep, Bella continued to rub me, or give me oral. I woke up the next morning very stiff and sore. I felt like I had been unhinged at all my joints. I stumbled out of bed and right into her arms.

"You need more sleep," she breathed.

"I'm fine. I just need to take a shower; besides my father is expecting me before noon."

She shook her head but helped me into the shower. She wrapped her arms around me and held me steady as we both washed my body. Her hands were like silk against my skin, her touches and kisses felt so wonderful. I didn't care how sore I was, I wanted more of her.

"I want you Bella."

"You need some sleep first, you can barely stand by yourself Edward," her voice broke as she said my name.

I cupped her face in my hands, "I am fine Bella, honest." I kissed her on the lips.

"No you're not. I told you I would hurt you," she muttered.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my chest, "I love you. The only way you could hurt me is to leave me."

She started to protest but I pressed my lips to hers, silencing her. There was a new edge in her touch and she was more desirable than ever before. I felt myself go hard as she wrapped her legs around my waist. I placed my hands on her thighs and I slid myself into her. I thrusted in and out of her until I felt myself let go. "Oh Bella, you feel so good," I whispered.

She kissed me on the cheek and slipped out of the hot water. I followed her after turning off the shower and wrapping a towel around my waist. She was already dressed in new clothes and held mine out to me, "You will need these."

I changed as quickly as my stiff and sore muscles would allow me. She picked up all my things and threw them into a duffle bag, before handing it to me. We checked out and she drove me home. As usual my father wasn't home, "Will you stay?"

"I have to do some things first but I will be back later. I will see you after lunch." She kissed me on the lips and I got out of the car. I limped my way up the steps and heard the squealing of the tires as I unlocked the front door and went inside. I made myself a sandwich and went upstairs to start on homework. I checked the clock every five minutes and when it got close to one I became antsy.

It was three when Bella arrived back at my house. I had finished all my homework and even responded to my mother's frantic email wanting to know about every detail of my night. I had hit send when I turned around and found her sitting on my bed.

"I missed you," I said getting up and going to sit beside her.

She turned to me and stared at me in the eyes, "Please tell me the truth. How bad are you hurt?"

"Bella, really I'm f..."

"If you value my sanity you will not say the word fine," she spat.

"But I am Bella. I am a little sore but nothing that I haven't felt before after a good workout. I'm sure with practice my muscles will get used to some of those moves," I said kissing her neck.

She pulled away, "Practice? You honestly think I am going to hurt you like that again?"

I lifted one hand to her cheek and waited for her pull away but she didn't. She rested her head into my hand, "Bella. We knew this was going to be difficult, but honestly I wasn't expecting how amazing and wonderful it would be."

She brought her face close to mine so she was only about an inch away, "Just so you know you were perfect as well. I didn't know it would feel so much more than what I had expected. You were incredible."

I placed my hand on the back of her neck and pressed her lips to mine, throwing myself on top of her. I grinded my hips into hers, "I'm afraid that I am going to want you all the time now."

She gave in and we proceeded to make love on my bed in the middle of the afternoon. Afterwards we got dressed and cuddled on my bed with my door wide open. I didn't hear my dad come in the house until Bella shook my shoulder, "Edward, your dad is home."

"I don't care. We aren't doing anything," I mumbled rolling over onto my back and pulling her halfway on to my chest. She quickly wrapped a blanket around just me and proceeded to lay her head on my chest.

I heard him clunking up the steps, "Edward?" He stood in my doorway as I opened my eyes. "Have a good time at the dance?"

I nodded, "It was really fun dad."

"It is almost seven, you two hungry?"

I shook my head, "Just really tired from all that dancing and I didn't sleep very much at Mike's."

He nodded his head and shut the door halfway. I didn't wake up again until morning and Bella was still in my arms. I waited to hear from my dad but there were no sounds coming from upstairs or down. "He left about an hour ago. He didn't want to wake you."

"How did you manage to get him to allow you to spending the night?"

"Easy I called my dad and let them talk."

I kissed her forehead, "You are simply amazing."

That Sunday flew by rather quickly. Since I had already finished my homework, and caught up on sleep, Bella and I just hung around and watched some movies. She laid on top of me on the couch as we watched _Romeo and Juliet_ and a few other classics. I was in heaven having her rest on my chest. There were a couple times it looked like she was sleeping, "What are you doing Bella? I know you are not sleeping."

"Listening. Your heartbeat is so wonderful. I could pick it out from miles away if I had to."

I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her hair, "I love you Bella."

Sunday night came too quickly and Bella left shortly after Charlie had come home from fishing again.

"Will I see you again tonight?" I said wrapping her in my arms as we stood on the front porch.

"I have homework I need to finish, but I will see you first thing Monday morning at school," she said kissing me on the lips then darting off into the darkness.

I went in to eat supper and we sat there in silence as we ate, but he stopped me when I tried to go upstairs early.

"Can I talk to you for a minute son?"

"Sure thing dad. What's up?"

"Well I am little concerned at how attached you have become with Bella. I mean it is all rather fast don't you think?"

"Not with her dad. She's different."

"It's not that I don't like her Edward. I mean she is simply wonderful but just remember to keep a balance."

"Keep a balance?"

"Don't drop all your friends for your girlfriend."

I nodded, "I won't dad."

"Good. I really do like her you know. She is simply a delight to be around."

"That really means a lot to me dad. Do you think mom will like her too?"

"Who wouldn't like that angel Edward? She is one of a kind."

I smiled and ran up to my room. He had no idea how much of a one of a kind she really was. She was simply everything to me. I had lost my virginity to her and so much more. She controlled my heart and I didn't want to experience what it would be like without her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 6: Look what my temper got me**

**(Bella Cullen)**

When I got home I decided to take a shower so I could think. For some reason the hot water always cleared my head. I wasn't in there but five minutes when I heard Alice knock on my bathroom door and enter.

"Spill it Bella," she said as I groaned.

"You really want all the nitty gritty details Alice?"

"Of course I do. I'm your sister. Would you rather tell Rose?"

I laughed, "Good point. What can I say Alice it was magical; simply perfect in every way."

"And you were able to control your excesses?"

"It was like his body against mine took all the tension and worry out of me. I knew I couldn't hurt him anymore; it wasn't possible. His touches and kisses made the thirst disappear. It was wonderful Alice. I don't think I can explain it much better than that."

"Your connection between one another has undoubtedly grown."

"I'm in love with him Alice. I didn't think it was possible to find someone who completes me after almost a century of being alone."

"Can I ask you something Bella?"

"Sure Alice."

"What is it like to be with someone who eats, sleeps, and feels warm?"

"It is unlike anything else. The eating I tolerate. The sleeping I adore because he talks and murmurs things that are funny and loving. And I love that I can cuddle against him and feel the warmth of his skin on mine."

I hopped out of the shower all wrapped in my towel and put a comb through my hair. Alice watched me as I fussed with the mousse and sprays. I just wanted to look good for him on Monday.

"Since when do you put this much time in picking out your outfit and doing your hair?"

"Is it a crime to want to look nice?"

"For you it is. You never care what you look like. You must really like him, or you just want to see him sweat it out at school for a day."

I smiled at her, "You're ridiculous Alice."

I arrived to school early and positioned myself against my car so he would see me as soon as he pulled in. His car was one of the last ones in the parking lot and he limped towards me with a huge smile on his face. I ran up to him and gave him my shoulder.

"I'm fine Bella. I had a charley-horse last night in my right calf and I am still trying to stretch it out. By the way you look delectable. How dare you tease me like this? Don't you realize how hard it is when you are wearing sweats to not throw you down and ravage you and here you are dressing up for me?"

He pinned me against my car and placed his lips to my throat, "I could massage out your cramp for you," I said sliding my hand down his body.

His hand caught mine, "Later," he breathed kissing me on the lips.

The bell rang and we had to go our separate ways. The school was still buzzing from the dance. All the girls were talking and whispering about their nights but I knew none of them could top mine even if they tried. I didn't realize they were whispering about me until one of them said my name.

"I couldn't believe it when I saw it. It was disgusting and look at her now. She thinks she is just hot stuff because she has the most gorgeous guy in school in her back pocket," Lauren sneered in my direction. She obviously had no idea I could hear her.

"Or more like down the front of her pants," Jessica piped in making Lauren laugh.

"You guys don't even know her," Angela said defending me.

"I don't have to Ang. She is pure trash."

The bell rang and I took my time gathering my things letting them walk past me. Angela shot me an apologizing look as she slipped from the classroom door. I got up and slouched off to lunch. My self-confidence was gone for the moment. I had never socialized at my other high schools and so no one bothered me or spread nasty rumors. "I guess this is what I get for putting myself out there," I mumbled.

I could smell Mike running up behind me, "Hey Bella. Edward is going to be a little late. He had to run to his locker because he forgot his biology book."

"Thanks Mike," I said as we walked into the lunch room together.

I watched Jessica's face go from dead white to beat red in a matter of seconds. Lauren whispered something into her ear and I turned around and walked out of the lunchroom. I couldn't listen to more crap about me. I started wandering down the hallway but I heard their footsteps behind me. I slowed my pace because I figured it was no use running.

"Bella, Bella has to go and find another fella," Lauren chanted.

Simply juvenile. I kept walking – my face forward.

"What Edward didn't satisfy you enough that you have to go and hit on Mike too?" she continued. She reached out and grabbed my shoulder, "Hey I'm talking to you."

She spun me around but I was too fast for her, "I don't seem to hear talking I only hear the whining of someone who doesn't know who they are _trying_ to talk to!" I charged at her, making her take a step back.

"Seriously Bella, what's your problem?" Jessica countered.

"You are my problem. I don't appreciate you spreading rumors and lies around school about me."

"We don't know what you are talking about," Lauren responded.

"Sure you don't. So last period all that stuff you said was just, what? Friendly gossip?" They looked at one another, wide eyed. "Oh yea. I heard it all. And for your information Jessica, Mike was just delivering a message to me." I turned away from them and sighed when I saw his face turn a corner at the end of the hall.

I ran up to him and threw my arms around his neck, "I was just coming to find you at lunch." I buried my face into his chest and he placed a kiss in my hair, "Bella what is it?"

"Can we just leave? I don't want to be here right now. I just need to be alone with you."

"Bella we can't ditch school for that," he whispered. He lifted my head and looked deep into my eyes. "Let's go," he breathed pulling me along with him as he turned around towards the office.

"Act sick," he said before opening the office door.

"Oh dear!" Mrs. Cope said rushing to my side.

"She's not feeling too well and she won't eat anything," Edward explained.

"You don't want to try and eat dear? It might make you feel better."

I shook my head and put my hand below my stomach, "It hurts and I left my medicine at home."

I didn't dare glance up at Edward, "I see," Mrs. Cope said returning behind her desk. She wrote two slips and handed them to us. "You feel better soon."

Edward pulled me towards his car. "Alice can take my car home," I muttered as he opened the passenger door for me.

We were cuddling on his bed for awhile before he asked me, "What happened Bella?"

"Just stupid teenage girls being themselves, that's all."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I mean it is just Lauren spreading rumors about me and you. Not that Jessica helps any. This is exactly why we separate ourselves from humans so much. You have no idea how much I wanted to rip out her throat. She doesn't even know me and she starts in with this crap."

"I like it when you are angry," he whispered kissing my forehead. "It is a definite turn on."

"Concentrate please Edward!"

"Oh sorry. I will talk to both of them about it. They have no right to judge you."

"I think what I told them today might have already cleared the air a little. You don't need to talk to them for me. I can be pretty intimidating when I have to be."

He tilted my face up to look into my eyes. "They are my friends so I will talk to them. You really are quite adorable though when your brow lines are all creased and that look you put on your face." He smiled as he brought his lips to mine. Electricity shot through me and I rolled myself on top of him.

He pulled my sweater up over my head and unclasped my bra, taking my breasts into his mouth. I quickly unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants. I took his member into my hand and started working him. He moaned against my skin as he kissed down my body. I had him hard in seconds and he started pulling on his pants to get them off. I assisted him with his and pulled down my own as well. I slid myself down on him and threw my head back in sheer ecstasy.

I bounced up and down on him, while his hands gripped my hips. He shifted his own hips upward shooting himself deeply into me. His mouth took ahold of my nipples and sucked on them over and over. Our moans grew louder with each pump of our bodies against one another. We soon both let go and I collapsed onto his chest as his arms folded around me.

"I love you," I murmured.

"You mean everything to me Bella. I want to make you happy."

We laid there for awhile and I eventually rolled off him and onto the bed on my stomach. He rolled onto his side and caressed my back with his hands. I put my head so that I could look at him, "I wish we could spend all our time like this. I'm sick of going to school."

"But you just enrolled."

"Yea at Forks. Edward we have to live our lives like humans do; that is why we move around so much. We can't stay in one place too long or people start to notice that we aren't aging."

"So you're 17, like me, but how long have you been seventeen?"

"Hasn't anyone ever told you that women don't like to discuss their age?"

"Oh come on Bella," he said urging me.

"I was born in 1901 and joined Carlisle in 1918."

"Was it your decision to join him?"

"Carlisle already had Esme and they had wanted to expand; because Esme can't have children – actually none of us can. Anyway, Carlisle was working nights in a Chicago hospital and he found me, dying of Spanish Influenza."

"You don't remember any of it?"

"I remember is the excruciating pain of it all but that is it."

He had moved his hand to my lower backside and was starting to slip between my thighs. I let him roam with his hand, closing my eyes to concentrate on how wonderful the warmth of his skin was against mine. I felt him shift his weight behind me, pulling my hips up slightly in the process. He slid two fingers into my already moistened pleasure center and began massaging it, rolling his fingers around. They were quickly replaced by his large shaft as he plunged it into me so hard and deeply that I screamed out his name.

I spread my legs and wiggled myself on him, making him moan in pleasure. He began shifting himself forward and back, causing a great amount of friction between our two bodies. It was a new angle and he was so deep that my body was in shock at first. I adjusted myself and started pushing against his hips allowing him deeper access. "Oh Bella," he moaned.

He spent himself early but kept pumping me. I had lost count, myself, but it just felt so good. "Please don't stop Edward."

He picked up pace and we were soon slamming our bodies together harder than before, over and over. I soon heard an ear-slipping smash and followed briefly by a crunch. "Ouch, holy crap!" Edward screamed. I rushed to his side and placed my hands around the swelling ankle, "Careful Bella, I think it is broken."

My cold hands clamped around it, causing him to groan, "I need to apply some more pressure. I will be right back." I swooped to the kitchen to grab two ice packs and then to the bathroom for a bandage wrap. I raced back to his side; I had been gone maybe a minute. "This may hurt Edward, but it needs to be done so we can get you to the hospital." I pressed both ice packs to the sides of his ankle and wrapped it tightly while he screamed and yelled in agony. I managed to get him partially dressed, minus a sock and shoe and threw own my own clothes in the process.

On the way to the hospital I flipped open my cell and dialed Carlisle's personal cell number. He picked it up only after one ring, "Bella?"

"I think Edward broke his ankle. We are on our way now."

"Bring him in the back exit. I'll be waiting for you." When we arrived Carlisle whisked us to a room where he x-rayed Edward's ankle. "I'm afraid it is broken Edward. What in the world were you doing that caused this breakage?"

"I fell off my bed, backwards. My leg got caught under me and I landed on it wrong," he muttered blushing.

Carlisle focused on setting the break and wrapping it in gauze. "Would you like me to call Charlie?"

Edward on nodded, "Thanks Carlisle. We really appreciate this," I said.

"He will be groggy from the meds I gave him. I will also recommend that you stay with him tonight and that he take the rest of the week off. I will write you both excuse slips and have Alice bring you your work. These need to be taken every six hours until the pills are gone," he said handing me a prescription bottle.

"Thanks dad. I will take good care of him so Charlie can still go to work."

"I'll call him right after you leave to give you time to get him home and settled. Don't let him take these pills on an empty stomach though, okay?"

I nodded and helped Edward off the gurney. I got him to the car and he zonked out on me. I carried him into the house and up to his bed. I was making him something to eat when Charlie came rushing in the door, "Where is he?"

"In his room. He might be up now."

"What happened Bella?"

"It is my fault Charlie. You see we were sitting on his bed doing our biology homework and I pushed him off the bed. He fell off and landed on his leg wrong… it like wrapped under him. I heard the crunch immediately," I said shuddering at the partially true memory. "We were just messing around when I pushed him. I didn't mean to launch him off the bed." I hung my head and turned back to the food I was preparing.

Charlie walked over to me and put his hands on my shoulder, "Bella, you can't blame yourself. He is a tough boy and you have been nothing but wonderful to him. Accidents are bound to happen."

I loaded a tray with food and carried it upstairs – Charlie towing along behind me. Edward was moaning when I got to his room, "Bella can I have some of those pain killers Carlisle gave you."

Charlie looked at me, "You need to eat something first. You can't take them on an empty stomach."

"It's a good thing you're here Bella. I'm not a very good nurse," Charlie mumbled.

I helped Edward sit up and sat the tray on his lap. "You're not leaving are you Bella? Please stay."

I glanced at Charlie who seemed calm enough, "Is that all right with you Charlie? I can make myself a bed up on the couch."

"No Bella you need to be in here with Edward. I will get the air mattress all set up for you."

"Here you go Edward," I said handing him a pill after he had eaten half his food. The next hour ticked by. Edward fell back asleep and I went downstairs with Charlie to be sociable.

That night was the worst for Edward. He couldn't sleep and the pain was excruciating for him. He wasn't due for a pain pill and there was nothing I could do to comfort him. I ended up calling Carlisle to see if he would allow me to give Edward half of a pill.

"How much pain is he in Bella?"

"He can't sleep and he is extremely uncomfortable."

"When was his last dose?"

"Only three hours ago."

"Try some ibuprofen instead and keep me posted."

"I will, thanks."

Edward was fast asleep within twenty minutes of me giving him two ibuprofen. The next morning Charlie left early, but not after checking to make sure I was in my own bed. I got up and made some breakfast for Edward. "You know Bella this isn't your fault. I should have been more aware of my positioning behind you."

I shook my head, "It is to my fault. If I would have just controlled my temper at school you wouldn't be in a cast right now."

"Please don't Bella… please. I love you and accidents happen."

"Oh yea, you hear it all the time. Girlfriend knocks boyfriend off of bed during sex – boyfriend breaks his ankle," I said sarcastically.

He laughed, "It probably does happen, we just don't hear about it."

"This is serious Edward. It could have been a lot worse. I wasn't channeling my excesses and hurt you. This is exactly what I thought would happen."

He reached for me, "Please just come lay with me," he murmured. I laid on the bed beside him and he pulled me into his chest, "I love you Bella."

I placed my lips against his and stroked his face with my hand, "I will never put you through any of this again."

He slept most of the day which allowed me time to think. I couldn't leave him but he was so fragile compared to me. I knew I couldn't risk his safety like that anymore. He would fight it, of course, but he was ruled by his hormones and I knew better – I had about a century of experience. He was my entire life and to see him all broken like this really put things in perspective. To know that I had hurt the love of my existence tortured me. While he was out I decided to call Alice and go hunting.

"Thanks for agreeing to come with me Alice."

"You need me right now, I understand that."

"How do I fix this guilt?"

"Bella you have no reason to feel guilty, it was simply an accident.

"That I caused!"

"He's human. Things like this are trivial to them."

"I can't take seeing him like this. It hurts, makes me want to break something of mine so that I can feel better about this situation."

She jumped in front of me and took me by the shoulders, "Knock it off Bella. He needs you right now. You wanted to hunt, so hunt!"

I took down a buck easy enough and was back to Edward before he even realized I was gone. I watched him sleep and I knew there was only one solution to all of this.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 7: Regret and Lust**

**(Edward Swan)**

That first week was a little shaky for me. The days tended to blur together because of the medicine I was taking. Once the swelling went down and Carlisle could recast my ankle properly I felt better. I was up and moving around on the crutches. It felt good to be off my back and out of bed. Monday morning school had rolled around and everyone was quite surprised to see me on crutches.

"Hey man," Mike mumbled at my locker. "How you feeling today?"

"Better than when you last called. I'm getting the hang of these things."

I crutched off to class with him carrying my stuff, "So where's Bella?"

"I'm sure she is around here somewhere. I saw her at her locker this morning before I went to mine."

"Oh."

"You might as well just tell me Mike."

"Well last week there were a lot of rumors floating around…" he trailed off as we took our seats.

I couldn't help but notice the stares in my directions as the teacher droned on and on. Classes blurred together and before I knew it, it was lunch. "So you were saying?" I hinted at Mike.

He set my tray down and sat beside me, "I mean everyone heard about the huge fight between Bella, Lauren, and Jessica. Lauren kept trying to play it like she was the victim. It was all ridiculous."

"Could you be a little more vague Mike?" I said sarcastically.

He looked down, "People just think she is kind of weird and then you start dating her. You are like the most wanted guy in school Edward and you choose her out all your possible prospects. People are starting to think that she did this to you out of spite. To shut up Lauren and Jessica – maybe like as a threat that she would do it to them."

I almost choked on the food I was chewing, "You have got to be kidding me! Mike tell me you are not serious!"

"I'm sorry to say that I am. I don't feel that way at all Edward. You wanted to hear the gossip, so there it is."

I stood up and grabbed my crutches. I hurried over towards my old table and stared down the two culprits. "You two ought to be ashamed of yourselves, and I thought you were my friends. Well forget both of you… I'm done."

I didn't care that the entire school had just heard me. I crutched out of the lunch room and towards biology. I might as well sit there by myself – giving me time to think about stuff. I had no idea where Bella was and right now I needed her. I plopped myself down outside the biology classroom door and slammed my head against the lockers. It wasn't seconds until I felt her next to me.

"I heard everything. I'm sorry I did this to you. If I would have kept my distance, none of this…"

I silenced her with my lips. "If you would have kept your distance I would be a miserable, lonely seventeen-year-old," I said finishing her statement.

The bell rang and she lifted me off the floor of the hallway. We were the first ones in class and we kept our heads down while everyone entered. "Glad to be back?" she muttered.

I laughed, "Just as long as you are by my side, then yes."

She smiled at me but it didn't fully reach her eyes. It made me wish I knew what she was thinking. She was the only blank slate I got every time I tried to read her face and body language. I continued to stare at her, "What?" she whispered.

"Nothing," I mouthed turning my attention back to Mr. Molina.

By the end of the week Bella and I had pretty much isolated ourselves from everyone. We were in our own little secluded bubble and I didn't mind it at all. We started sitting with her brothers and sisters and I was starting to feel accepted by them… except for Rosalie, but Emmett kept her in check. Spring break was just around the corner and my mom had been bugging me to come and visit her.

"I think you should go Edward," Bella said to me one day after school. We were lying across her bed, my cast had just been removed, and I had brought up spring break plans.

"I would really like you to go with me Bella."

She rolled over onto her side, "You know how much I love to be with you, but I already promised Alice that we would fly to Alaska to see some old friends."

I sighed in defeat, "I don't know if I can stand to be away from you for a whole week Bella. We haven't really been apart one day since we have started dating."

She brought her lips to mine and I pulled her on top of me. Heat flooded through my body and I was instantly turned on. We hadn't been this close for six weeks and I wanted her skin against mine. I kissed down her neck and started fiddling with the buttons of her shirt. She immediately rolled off me, ignoring my attempts to keep her on top of me.

"I think you should book your flight and call your mom to let her know that you are going to see her in a week and a half."

I nodded and got up to sit at her desk. I felt her arms around my neck a few minutes later. She stood there and rubbed my shoulders as I searched for plane tickets. I spun the chair around to face her, "You won't hurt me Bella."

She took a step back, "Yes I will. We're not having this discussion Edward."

I stood, "Well I say we are!"

"Absolutely not. I can't hurt you like that again… it's too dangerous for you."

I collected my book bag from the floor, "Fine. See you tomorrow."

I didn't understand what her deal was. She wasn't the one that had caused my ankle injury. I was unsteady in my position at the end of the bed. I drove home thinking about her, her delicious body and the way she kissed me while we made love. It seemed as though these were distant memories. It had been two months and now I was going on a week-long vacation to California without her. Maybe time apart would be healthy for us?

I went to bed early that night and barely slept. I just wanted her in my arms and I couldn't stop tossing and turning – she was in my dreams too. The next morning I drove to school grumpy and tired. She wasn't there to meet me. I trudged along in all my classes and when lunch came, she wasn't there either. Only Alice sat there. "Where is everyone?"

"Hunting," she said smoothly.

"Why didn't you go with them?"

"Because I didn't want you to have to sit by yourself at lunch today. Besides I can catch up with them all later."

I ate in silence, Alice talked and I was unaware of everything around me. I just needed to see her smiling face, telling me that she was sorry and that we were okay. I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was really wrong. "Alice tell me the truth, where is Bella?"

She looked me sternly in the eyes and something flickered across her face that caused me even more worry. It was only a second, but it was sheer pain. She composed herself, "She really is hunting Edward. She won't be back until Friday evening."

"Okay, well thanks for keeping me company for lunch. I really appreciate it."

It was Thursday night, so in less than 24 hours she would be in my arms. I fell asleep dreaming about her again.

_Bella was on her knees, naked, as I stared at her. _

_"You may suck my cock," I said. _

_She gently took my cock in her mouth - swirling her tongue around the head, playing with my sac._

_"Oh, Bella," I groaned in pleasure, sliding my fingers through her hair. I risked a look down at her, and failed to hold in my lust. I picked her up a_n_d pushed her against my desk. Then I shoved myself inside of her from behind. _

_"Edward... Ohhh, Edward," she moaned. We were both already so close because of the foreplay, that it wasn't long before…_

The sound of alarm clock rang out and I shot up in bed. I groaned and went to take a shower. The school day drug on and on, but at least Alice was at lunch again to keep me company. I watched her face intently out of the corner of my eye while I ate. She was extremely focused on something and glimpses of pain and agony would shoot across her face, causing her eyes to widen, then she would regain her composure. It was beginning to stress me out.

I came home expecting to find Bella lying across my bed – no such luck. I did all my homework and made supper while I waited anxiously. My dad came home and sat down at the kitchen table, "So where is Bella? I have barely seen her all week," he mentioned.

"That makes two of us dad."

"You two have a fight?"

"Maybe?"

"How can you not know Edward?"

I hated when he used my name like that, "We did have a fight, okay."

"Have you apologized yet?"

"Why do you automatically assume it was my fault?"

He eyed me, "You still need to apologize to her… even if you were in the right."

I ignored him and took my supper upstairs. I sat at my computer and started typing my paper that was due next week. I figured I might as well get it done now. Next week was the last week before break. Of course my mother, Renee, was stoked to have me come and stay with her for a week. She had been looking forward to it since I told her not two days ago, per Bella's request… right before our fight.

I hung my head in my hands and thought of what I had said to her. I understood why she felt the way she did but I just wanted her so badly. I climbed into my bed that night and cried myself to sleep thinking about how I had ruined such a perfect relationship with my hunger for sex.

The next morning she was still a no show. My heart ached that I couldn't get out of bed. I fell back asleep until I felt a pair of cool hands around my face, "Bella?"

"Sshhh. I'm here now. I'm sorry it took longer than expected. I didn't mean to make you wait up for me."

I sat up in my bed, "What makes you think I waited up for you?"

"Well you are still sleeping silly."

"I was sleeping because I didn't want to get out of bed yet."

"But it is one in the afternoon."

I looked out my window and shrugged, "Oh well. I already have my homework done anyway."

She stared in my eyes, "You haven't been crying have you? Your eyes are all swollen."

"It was nothing Bella. I'm fine."

She looked away, disappointment swept across her face. "So what'd I miss?" She said changing the subject.

"Nothing much I guess. We have a paper due next week, but that is about it. I assume Alice got all your homework for you."

She stood up and went to sit in my computer chair. She didn't answer, she only nodded. We sat there in silence for a moment until I decided to get out of bed. I went down the steps and made myself some breakfast with Bella on my heels. I had to say something to her.

"So why didn't Alice go hunting with you?"

"She told us she didn't want to."

"I see. Look Bella can you please just listen to me for a moment?"

She turned her whole body towards me and stared at me in eyes, "Yes?"

"What happened was not your fault. I will never blame you as long as I live, but nothing is going to change unless you agree with me. I love you Bella and there are things that you can't always prevent from happening. I am, after all, only human."

She cupped her hands around my face, "You mean so much to me. It was only natural to blame myself. I love you Edward but I still cannot take the chance in hurting you again. You don't know how it has tortured me knowing that I had a partial blame in what happened to your ankle."

I nodded, "I can understand your side too, Bella. I can."

"Thank you," she breathed kissing me lightly on the lips.

She stayed with me the rest of the weekend, never leaving my side. I wrapped my arms tightly around her as I fell asleep, having the same dream as the night before. I was not looking forward to school come Monday morning. Bella met me in the parking lot and walked in with me before disappearing as the bell rang. I caught up again with her at lunch and then in biology.

I was worried that the week would go too fast. I wasn't looking forward to saying goodbye to her Friday after school. "I can drive you to the airport if you would like?"

"I would like that very much Bella, thank you."

"How much time is there in between the end of school and your flight?"

"I would say about two hours. My flight takes off at 6:20."

She only nodded as we continued our homework. It was Thursday night and this would be our last night together for an entire week. My mom was bummed to find out that Bella wasn't joining me, but I gave her the excuse Bella had given me. Bella stayed for, cooking supper for us. My dad ate two helpings and retired to bed early. I helped clean up the kitchen wrapping my arms around Bella from behind as she washed the dishes.

"I don't know if I can leave you for a week. Two days last week was hard enough," I murmured kissing her cheek.

She smiled and turned around to face me, my arms still around her waist. She threw her arms around my neck and placed her lips against my neck. We went up to my room where she cuddled into my chest as I fell asleep. Friday went by quickly and everyone was excited about the upcoming break. After school Bella drove me to her house where we cuddled on her bed. I had all my things with me and had already said good bye to Charlie. I used this time to just be with Bella.

We started off simply in one another's arms but it quickly turned to more. She rolled her body on top of mine, ripping her shirt off above her head. "Make love to me Edward," she murmured against my cheek.

I pressed my lips against hers fiercely. We stripped off each other's clothing quickly having our naked bodies pressed tightly together. I could feel the tip of my shaft rubbing against her slit, making her moan. "I want you Edward," she whispered.

I rolled myself over onto her and shoved myself deeply into her. I rocked my hips back and forth slowly at first, giving her the full length of me. She bucked against me and I started slamming myself into her harder and harder making her cry out my name, "Oh Edward. Please don't stop. I want you Edward. I need you."

We wrapped her legs around my waist allowing a different angle and deeper access. Our bodies rocked together on her bed as we moaned and kissed one another passionately. I could feel her muscles starting to tighten around my member and I picked up the pace, allowing both of us to collapse, completely overcome in bliss.

She drove me to the airport and kissed me long and hard at the terminal. "I love you Isabella."

"I will always love you Edward, never forget that," she murmured before kissing me one last time. Her words didn't bring fear into my thoughts until after I was in the air.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 8: The hardest decision of my life**

**(Bella Cullen)**

"This is honestly the stupidest thing you have ever done Bella!" Alice shouted at me.

I had just returned from dropping Edward off at the airport. He didn't know it but that would be the last time I saw him. "I know what I have to do Alice. This is for the best."

"For the best," she muttered back at me.

"Alice I can't do this to him anymore. He is getting too attached and he is human!"

"Well you should have thought about that before you decided to fall in love with him and alter his entire world."

I stopped packing and turned to her, "I have to do this Alice. It is the only way he will move on and continue to have a normal happy life."

"Happy? You think he is going to be happy?"

"Not at first, but eventually."

"Well you might find it interesting that I was able to see his future last week while you were all out hunting."

"You've always been able to see his future so don't give me that," I muttered sharply returning to my packing.

"That is where you are wrong Bella. You have been shielding him since day one."

"Whatever Alice."

"You didn't even realize it did you? You're even doing it right now. You do it subconsciously because you do love him."

"Of course I do! He is everything to me!"

"Then don't do this to him Bella. You won't be here to see the pain and agony you are going to put him through, but we all are."

I flinched, "He's going to be in pain?" I said meekly not meeting her eyes.

"You are going to rip out his heart Bella. He is going to believe that you don't love him anymore from your little notes. He is going to withdraw from everyone and hold on to the memory of you two. He won't eat, he won't sleep…"

"Enough Alice – I've heard enough. I've made up my mind and I have decided that this is the way it needs to be."

I picked and my things and headed for the stairs. Alice followed me out. She was the only one who was going to say goodbye to me. Esme had all but locked herself in her room when she found out I was leaving and not coming back. Carlisle buried himself in work and everyone else had already said their goodbyes to me earlier in the week. I threw my things in my car and turned around to hand her a letter.

"Please make sure he gets this."

"Bella…"

"No, Alice. He will come here because he won't believe it from Charlie. This letter will give him the clean break he needs."

She only nodded as she folded the letter into her back pocket. She threw her arms around me, "Please be sure to call us okay?"

"I will. Don't worry, it will only be about a year before I am back. He's human and he will forget me with time. I love you Alice."

I drove north, but I had to make one final stop before I left Forks behind for good. I pulled into the police station parking lot and got out my car. I walked in and met the secretary at the front desk, "Hi I'm looking for Police Chief Swan?"

"Is he expecting you dear?"

"Oh no, but I only need a moment. If you could please tell him Bella is out front?"

"Sure thing. I'll buzz his office."

Charlie came strolling out from the back, "Bella! What brings you here?"

"I need to talk with you about something in private, if you don't mind?"

"Not at all. Marlene if you could please hold all my calls," he said as we walked back to his office. I took a seat, "So what's on your mind Bella?"

I took a deep breath, "I'm leaving Charlie."

"Oh yea Edward told me you were going to Alaska this week with your sister."

"No I mean I am leaving. I won't be coming back Charlie."

His face flushed white, "Why on earth would you do this Bella?"

"There is an amazing opportunity in Alaska that I just can't pass up," I lied.

He thought for a moment, "He doesn't know does he?"

I shook my head, "I thought it would be better this way. He won't have anything to hold on to except his memories."

"Why Bella?"

"I can't keep lying to myself Charlie. It is wrong to lead him on this way. He deserves so much better than me."

"You honestly don't love him anymore?"

I composed my face – I had been practicing it so much recently that it felt natural, "I don't love him anymore."

"Well then I guess that changes things, doesn't it? But do you really have to leave Forks?"

"It's the only way he will move on. I was wondering if you could give him this? It explains everything to him." I reached out and handed Charlie a letter.

"No problem Bella. I'm going to miss having you around kid. Please say that you will still visit when you stop by to see your family."

"I don't know how much I will be visiting them but I can promise that if I am in the area I will stop by to see you."

I stood and he copied me, "Well I guess you have a long drive ahead of you?" I shook my head and he wrapped his arms around me. "See ya around Bella."

"Bye Charlie."

I drove all night long until I got to the Denali Coven. Tanya and Kate were the only ones home and helped me to get settled in. I was smart enough to get myself a phone that could only make outgoing calls. I dialed Alice's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey Alice."

"Bella? I don't recognize this number. Are you using Tanya or Kate's phones?"

"No… Alice I got rid of my old phone and this one can only make outgoing calls."

"You are really going to the extreme here aren't you?"

"I had to cover all my bases and I won't be here very long, maybe a week or two."

"Where are you going?"

"I can't tell you Alice and you know the reason why. I will be in touch."

"Bye Bella."

I clicked the phone shut and held it out in my hand. I knew the number of his mom's place and wanted to call him so badly. Kate broke my concentration, "Bella are you just going to stand there all night or do you still want to hunt?"

The next few days were almost unbearable. I took extremely long walks by myself in the snow and that let my mind wander, which I didn't like. His face was in my thoughts often. His breathtaking smile and the way he held me close was what I desired the most. I was feeling rather horrible and Kate and Tanya noticed.

"What is with you Cullen?"

"Nothing Kate. I'm fine."

"Well you are obviously not fine. Don't make me call Alice!" Tanya threatened.

"You two are so annoying sometimes…" It made me realize how much I missed my own sister.

"I have her number on speed dial right here," Kate teased holding her cell up.

"I left Forks because of a guy, okay?"

"Seriously Bella? You found someone?" They chimed together.

"He wasn't just someone. He was everything to me. I fell in love with him."

"Wow," the whispered. "Wait so why are you here?"

"I'm ending it. It's not realistic for me to love a human. I put his life in danger every second that we are together and he means too much to me."

"You're confusing us Bella. You just said that you loved him."

"I do love him Kate. That is why I am ending it. He will forget all about me with time and go back to living a normal, healthy, happy life."

"But your family still lives in Forks, yes?" Tanya asked. I nodded, "Then he will just attach himself to them right?"

"I've asked them not to have contact with him."

"If you love him the way you say you do then I take it he loves you just as much. You honestly think this is the best thing for him?"

"I do Kate. It has to be the best thing because he needs to go back to living a human life, one where vampires don't exist."

I dialed Alice's number and she picked up on the first ring, "Thank goodness Bella!"

"What Alice?"

"Don't you realize how many times he has called here this week? We had to disconnect the landline!"

"I'm sorry Alice… we all knew this was going to be difficult."

"Bella, I'm asking you to please, just please forget about all this and come back home. We need you here."

"I wish I could Alice but I am leaving tomorrow morning for Canada."

"You said you were going to be there at least two weeks!"

"I changed my mind Alice. I need a change of pace for awhile."

"Fine Bella. We'll just have to deal with his broken heart for you," she said and her line disconnected.

I spent the next several hours planning my Canada trip. I took off at dawn and didn't look back. I had no purpose to drive about like I was but I needed to stay moving or he would try and find me.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 9: Holding on to her memory**

**(Edward Cullen)**

"I don't get it mom, she hadn't returned any of my phone calls."

"Now sweetie, you know she is in Alaska with her sister. They probably don't have a phone where they are at."

"I guess…"

"Carlisle will give her your messages when he can. In the meantime, to get your mind off things, why don't we have some fun?"

That week was the best time I had ever had with my mom. She bought me new clothes and we spent a lot of time at the beach. The sunlight felt amazing on my skin but I felt hollow inside. I hadn't heard from Bella all week so when Saturday came, I was ready to get home.

"Thanks for a great time mom. I had a lot of fun."

"This is the best time of the year to visit California Edward. It's too bad Bella couldn't join us. I bet you are itching to get back her aren't you?"

"We've never been apart a week. I really miss her."

"She will probably be waiting for you at the airport with an excuse."

I smiled, "You're right mom. I love you."

"Bye sweetie. Call me sometime on Sunday all right?"

I hugged her good bye again and boarded my flight. I nearly drove the flight attendant crazy bouncing in my seat the whole time. When it landed, my dad was there waiting for me.

"Hey bud! Gosh I sure missed you around here. The food sucks when you are gone."

"Hey dad!" On the drive home I told him everything mom and I did during the week. "It was just so much fun. I miss her already."

When we got home he helped me with my things into my room.

"Do you mind if I go and see Bella?"

The look on his face wasn't one I was used to. "She wanted you to read this when you got back."

He left me alone and I opened the letter:

_Dear Edward – _

_ By the time you read this I will be gone. I didn't mean to lie to you at the airport and I realize I should have told you this in person. I can't be with you anymore Edward. It is too dangerous for you to be associated with things like me. I will always remember you and the times we shared. My family doesn't know where I am at and I do not have my cell phone with me anymore. Please don't follow me or try and contact me in any way. This is what is best for you. You may not see it now, but in time you will._

_- Bella_

I read it over and over until I had it memorized, "No!" I screamed. "Dad! When did she give you this?" I raced down the steps to confront him the kitchen.

"The same night you left to see your mom."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Edward, you wouldn't have been able to stop her. She made up her mind and there was no changing that."

"I love her! How could you let the woman I love just walk out of my life like that?"

"I did it because she doesn't feel the same about you. She didn't want to keep leading you on."

The second line of her letter flashed through my head along with her words that she said to me – _I will always love you Edward, never forget that._

"Why would she lie to me like that? Why didn't she just tell me how she felt?"

I raced to my car. I had to see for myself that she was really gone. I fought back tears the whole way to her house. Alice opened the front door with a grimace on her face, "She's not here."

"I need to see for myself, Alice please!" She let me by and I flew up the steps two at a time. Her room was bare – completely empty.

I heard Alice come in behind me, "She wanted me to give you this."

Another letter; I tore it open:

_Dear Edward – _

_ It will be like I never existed. All traces of me are gone. You needed a clean break from me and this was the only way I knew how to do it. Can't you see it Edward? I don't love you anymore. Go on with your life. Forget me. You are only a human and your kind forget easier. Live the life you were meant to before I came in and interrupted it._

_- Bella_

I lost it. The tears flowed freely down my cheeks. "Why Alice?"

"Edward I think you need to go home."

"Where is she?"

"We don't know. She calls us to check in, but it is a phone that can only make outgoing calls."

"It will be like I never existed," I repeated, mostly to myself. I left her room and went down the steps. Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, Esme, and Carlisle were all at the bottom of the steps waiting for me. I looked at their faces and knew that they were just as heartbroken as I was. They had lost their daughter and sister because of me. "I'm sorry," I whispered as I shut the front door.

I drove home where my dad was waiting on the porch for me. I was barely able to get out of the car and when I went to take my first step towards the house I crumbled to the ground.

My dad was at my side immediately. I could feel the rain picking up, soaking me as my dad attempted to get me into the house. I don't know how he did it, but I woke up the next afternoon in my bed, wrapped in blankets. I sat up and noticed my wet clothes on the floor. I shrugged off the blankets and went to take a shower.

When I got out I could hear my dad talking on the phone, "I'm not sure Billy. Today isn't really the best time for you to come out. Edward just broke up with his girlfriend and well, he is not himself." I shut my bedroom door and threw on some sweats and a t-shirt. I curled back into my bed, wrapping myself back in the blankets.

The next morning I heard my dad clunk up the stairs and leave a tray by my door. When he left for work I fetched the tray and gobbled down the food – I was completely famished. I fell back asleep and dreamt of her for the first time. We were walking hand in hand in the woods when she vanished. I called her name over and over but she was gone.

My dad's voice rang in my ears, "Edward, Edward wake up. It is a dream, wake up!" I shot up in bed. My dad had me by the shoulders to steady me. "Edward this isn't right. You have been sleeping since Saturday evening."

"I'm fine dad. Sorry I missed school today, I was just so tired from the flight," I lied.

"So you're going tomorrow?"

"Yea, sure."

He stood up and stared at me. "I'm sorry for not telling you earlier."

"It wasn't yours to tell dad, don't worry about it."

The next morning came and I, like I had promised, got up and dressed for school. The whole school was buzzing about their spring break news and I simply stared off into space. I hadn't realized my English teacher was speaking to me until Mike shook my shoulder, "Care to join us Mr. Swan?"

"Sorry," I mumbled and answered her question.

I went back off into my own world until Mike caught me in the hallway, "What is with you man?"

I shoved Bella's letters at him and stalked off. He came to sit beside me at lunch. I was sitting at a corner table all by myself. "Look man I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"Neither did I," I muttered – anger filled me.

"Seriously? This is how she broke up with you?"

I only nodded, "It will be like I never existed," I whispered, the anger dwindling into nothing.

"Why don't you come and sit with us?"

"No thanks man. I just need to be alone."

He got up and walked over to his usual table. I could hear the whispering and it didn't take long for the whole school to realize what was going on. The girls were ecstatic, of course, I was free to date who I wanted but why bother? I didn't want to wake up let alone date someone new, and the dreams continued.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. Before I realized it, it was summer. Billy had been visiting a lot lately and begging me to come and see Jake. I hadn't seen Jake since before Christmas. I did miss him but things got dicey when I started dating her. I allowed a painful memory to seep back into my brain. I held my chest and took in a deep breath. I had been more careful lately and here I was on the verge of a panic attack.

I was casually driving through town and had to pull over in order to catch my breath. I knew that was the last straw. I stared at myself in the rearview mirror. I was an absolute mess. I had dark purple circles under my eyes and my hair wasn't even combed. My clothes didn't match – basically I was just going through the motions of everyday life half ass.

When I got out of the car I looked around at the tiny house. I noticed Billy peeking through the front windows and within seconds Jake was walking out the front door. "Hey Edward! Glad you could stop by."

"Hope I not disturbing you or anything."

"Are you kidding I was just going out to work in the garage on my car. Care to join me?"

"That would be great man. Hey sorry I haven't been around."

He stared at me, "You look like shit."

I grimaced and he was dead on, "I feel like shit, but I am working on it."

I followed him into his little work shop. We spent the entire day talking and catching up.

"So you remember the Clearwater's right? Seth, Leah, Sue, and Harry?"

"Oh yea. Harry still goes fishing with my dad on the weekends."

"I'm dating Leah."

"That's great man. For how long now?"

"About four months. I asked her out on New Year's Eve."

"Nice timing." The radio was playing and our song started playing. I all but knocked Jake down to shut it off.

"That was a good song man!" he complained.

"Sorry I don't do music."

"Okay fine. No music," he muttered.

I wrapped my arms around my chest and had to catch my breath again. This was twice in one day her face appeared vividly in my memory. I wanted to curl into the fetal position in a corner somewhere.

Jake noticed by stance and walked over to me. He shook me by the shoulders, "Hey snap out of it!" he shouted.

I shook my head and looked at him, "Sorry. That was our song. Memories suck!" I yelled.

"Jesus you're really screwed up. You need a hobby or something."

"No shit Sherlock."

"Leah's got a couple friends," he started.

I stopped him right there, "Absolutely not Jake. She's coming back."

He glared at me, "No she's not Edward. It has been what almost three months and you haven't heard anything."

"Her family lives here and she is bound to visit sooner or later and when she does I will be waiting."

"She doesn't love you man. When are you going to get that through your head?"

I plopped to the ground next to him, "Sorry. I didn't come here to argue or fight. I came here to get my mind off things."

"She's all wrong for you and you don't even know it," he muttered.

We continued to work until we heard Billy's voice calling us in for dinner.

"Hey I will see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Sounds good. Hey maybe with your help we can get this car running by the end of summer. It'd be nice to have my own ride when school starts back up again."

I drove home to find Charlie zonked out on the couch. The front door woke him, "Edward?"

"Sorry dad I was with Jake all day."

He grumbled and rolled off the couch, "Yea I know Billy called and left me a message. Did you have a good time?"

"Yea. I am going back tomorrow if that's all right?"

That was the first night I didn't dream about her. I actually felt rested in the morning. My dad noticed my change in behavior immediately. "Looking good, see you later." He called on his way out the door. I cleaned the house and started some laundry before going over to Jake's.

He was already working in the garage when I got there. "Hey," I called.

"Hey."

We spent the day hanging out again. It was nice to just sit there with Jake. He was easy to talk to and he was so straight forward. He rambled on and on about Leah and their date the next night. He said he was ready to take it to the next phase with her but he wasn't sure if she wanted him to kiss her.

"She does man. Watch her body language. If she is physically touching you more, longer hugs, resting on you, then she wants you to kiss her."

"How do you know that?"

"Just trust me okay."

"But I want it to be perfect."

"You need to pull her in slow and cup your hands around her face. Kiss her forehead, her nose, her cheeks, her eyes. You have to prolong the moment, then finally… you will know when it is right, you will kiss her. Make it passionate by rubbing your tongue along her bottom lip. It should send her heart in a tizzy and she will most likely wrap her arms around you and knock her fingers in your hair, holding your faces together."

"Wow… that just sounds incredible. But what if I mess it up?"

"If it is coming from your heart, then you won't mess it up."

"Wow, thank Edward. Hey you're still coming over tomorrow right?"

"Sure… I'll come earlier and leave earlier, giving you plenty of time to get ready."

I went straight to bed when I got home and the next afternoon was hard when I had to leave Jake's early. "Have a great date!" I yelled before driving off. That night I was a mess. I dreamed of her the most vivid one yet. We were laying in one another's arms, kissing, touching, fooling around. I had asked her to marry me and she laughed in my face, causing me to wake up and scream bloody murder. My dad came busting through the door.

I laid back and groaned, "Edward, I think you need to talk to someone about this."

"What dad? You want me to talk to a shrink. I won't do it dad."

"This isn't healthy. She isn't coming back!"

I rolled over and closed my eyes to drown him out. He left a few minutes later and I got up. I knew I couldn't go back to sleep now. I had been slowly writing when things got bad. I decided to sit at my laptop and just type – see what happened, what came out.

Six hours passed when the phone ringing snapped me out of my intense pouring of my feelings, thoughts, and soul. I ran downstairs to yank it off the hook, "Edward?"

"Hey Jake," I mumbled.

"You coming over today or not?"

I looked at the clock, it was ten in the morning. "Sure thing man. Let me take a shower and grab some breakfast. Be over soon."

I flew into a fury, chugging down breakfast and taking a cold shower to wake me up. I looked at my l laptop, "Oh what the hell," I left it as is and climbed into my car. I didn't realize I was shaking until I got out at Jake's.

"Hey man!" he yelled as I was trying to get rid of my full on panic attack. My breaths were not keeping up with the need of my lungs and things started to go fuzzy. "You would not believe my night Edward! Not only did I have my first kiss, but she gave me a blowjob as well. Holy shit dude, you okay?"

Things were swirling. His words cut through me, "Bella." I mumbled. The last I remember is my head smashing against the blacktop.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 10: This can't be happening**

**(Bella Cullen)**

My old life had been nothing but a distant memory these past few months. I hopped from city to city across the U.S. and Canada with no rhyme or reason. I didn't feed often which left me feeling like shit and cranky. Maybe if I only went back to see his face… it might make this all better.

"No, damn it!" I yelled at myself.

I could see his face perfectly clear in front of me, but not even that could replace the complete emptiness I felt. I hadn't called home in a month and I didn't want to. I knew I would only get the silent treatment from everyone except Alice and she would only yell at me.

"I wish my shield could block all my feelings from me," I muttered rolling off the crappy motel bed. I had been lying on it for three whole days. I decided to take a shower and go hunting, maybe then I would call Alice.

In the middle of my shower I had knee-jerk reaction to immediately cause my hands to fly to my chest. My breathing became hard and fast as I closed my eyes to regain my composure. That was when I saw him, "Hello Isabella."

"Edward? How did you find me?"

"I knew where you were the whole time babe. I just wanted to let you know that I still love you. Always will… never forget that."

My eyes snapped open and I ripped through the shower curtain trying to get to my phone. I had to dial the number three fucking times before I heard Alice's voice on the other end.

"Alice, what is happening?"

She only dry sobbed my name over and over, "Alice tell me what the fuck is going on!"

"It's Edward," she breathed.

That was all I needed to hear. I checked out threw everything in my car. I knew I had a haul ahead of me but I had to get to him. He was my entire life. How could I be so fucking stupid to think I could live without him?

I drove twenty hours straight until I reached the hospital. I tried to compose myself before entering but what good would that do? The first family member I ran into was my mom. She looked a mess. For someone who was so put together all the time – she looked like shit. Her hair was all disheveled and she was wearing a fucking sweat suit with absolutely no makeup on.

"Mom?" I breathed.

She wrapped me into her arms and began shaking violently, "Don't you ever do that to me again Isabella Marie, do you hear me young lady?"

I took a step back and looked into her eyes, "I'm so sorry mom. I love you." I said wrapping her back into my arms. Alice, Emmett, and Jasper were at our sides immediately. Emmett squeezed me so hard I thought I would break in half.

"We all missed you Bella," Alice mumbled wrapping herself around me.

I looked them all in the eyes and if they could cry they would be, "Where is he?"

Carlisle entered the waiting room then, "Bella?" he said his eyes lighting up.

"Dad!" I screamed running to him.

He gripped me by the shoulders, "Where in the hell have you been?"

"I'm really sorry dad. I thought it was better off this way. I didn't know he would try and kill himself."

He looked at me puzzled, "What do you know Bella?"

"Nothing at all. But it wouldn't surprise me if he decided to take some pills or something."

Carlisle just shook his head, "No Isabella. He had a panic attack and fainted. He was at his friend Jake's house. He tried to get to him but it was too late. His head smashed against the concrete."

I hadn't realized how much I was shaking until my father pulled me to his chest, "He just got out of surgery Bella. We had to put him in an induced coma. It doesn't look very good. There was so much blood and swelling that they had to put a drainage tube…" he trailed off.

"Can I see him?"

"He's in room 207," he said only in a whisper.

I carefully and quietly slipped into his room undetected, shutting the door behind me and pulling the curtain around his bed. I stared at him but I couldn't make out his face from all the swelling and bandage wrappings. I pulled the chair next to his bad and held his hand, "I will not leave you until you wake up my love."

And I didn't. Three weeks passed and I stayed glued to his side. I hid when the nurses, Charlie, and all his friends came to see him, but I never left his room once. At night I curled myself next to him and held him close. During the fourth week they finally took the drainage tube out and took him off half the machines he was on. They stopped medicating him for the coma and we all just prayed that he would wake up. Another week passed.

I talked to him all day long. "You know Edward. I never stopped loving you either. You are my entire universe. I have this hole in my chest that won't go away. I need to see those green eyes sparkling at me. Please wake up sweetie – I need you."

"Bella?" I heard Alice from behind me. "You really need to hunt. It will only take an hour. I will go with you."

"But what if he wakes up while I am gone?"

"Bella look at me, "It has been two months since you have hunted. You need to go with me."

"Okay Alice. I will meet you outside." I turned back to him, "I won't be far Edward." I kissed his nose and went with Alice. It took three bucks to completely satisfy my thirst. I will never go that long without hunting ever again.

When we got back to the hospital, Carlisle was waiting for me. "Is he awake?"

"Not yet Bella. But there was a weird spike in his vitals about an hour ago. Scared the crap out of his nurse."

My eyes flashed, "Oh my Carlisle. He can hear me!"

I bolted to his room… big mistake. Both Jake and Charlie were there. They looked at me with hate-filled eyes. I started to back out of the room but Carlisle was behind me pushing me forward.

"How dare you let her in here Carlisle!" Charlie shouted.

Jake continued to stare me down but I just focused my eyes on Edward. I badly needed to wrap my arms around him.

"Charlie, let me explain. She has been here since day one and now we think he can hear us."

"What?" Jake said moving his eyes to Carlisle for the first time since I walked through the door, well more like barged.

"His vitals spiked an hour ago and Bella knows why."

All eyes were on me, "I kissed his nose," I mumbled.

Jake reached for Edward's hand, "Hey man. It's me. Find your way back to us. I need my grease buddy back."

We all stood there for hours but nothing changed. Charlie and Jake soon left, finally leaving me alone with him. I went over to his bed and hugged myself to his body, "I love you."

It was getting late, the night shift came in, which meant for rounds so I had to hide for ten minutes while his vitals were checked. I curled back into his side for the duration of the night. It was around three in the morning when I felt his arms twitching. My hands flew to his face, cupping it.

"Bella," he breathed.

I pressed my lips to his, causing his heart monitor to beep. His arms wrapped around me as he pulled me in tighter. "I thought I lost you," I murmured.

"I love you Isabella."

I sat up, holding his hands firmly in mine, "I am so sorry I did this to you Edward. If you never want to speak to me again, I understand."

"I have spent too long not talking to you Bella. I need you here. Please don't leave me."

"I am yours Edward. I am not going anywhere every again. Not unless you order me away."

"Never," he said pulling me into his chest, kissing my hair.

"How's your head?"

"Fine… it's my heart that aches."

I deserved that, "Well it's a good thing I can fix that one up."

"I hope so Bella. I felt so lost without you."

"So did I Edward."

"Oh god Bella, say my name again, please?"

"I love you Edward," I breathed kissing his lips again.

He pulled me on top of him, "I am never letting go of you ever again. Where you go, I go."

I rested my head on his chest, "That sounds good to me."

We stayed like until Carlisle asked me to get off him so he could do a thorough exam. "Well, it looks like you were extremely lucky Edward. I don't think there is any permanent damage, but only time will tell."

"When can I get out of here Carlisle?"

"Later today if Charlie okay's your release."

Thirty minutes later Charlie walked in with Jake. I was sitting on the bed next to Edward and their eyes zeroed in on me. Edward protectively wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me towards him, well tried I scooted to make him feel like he had moved me himself.

"What are you still doing here?" Charlie asked.

"Haven't you done enough damage?" Jake spat.

"Edward I can't condone this relationship anymore. She left you hanging. You have been absolute hell these past few months and you just take her back after she ripped out your heart?"

I flinched… I had hurt him. More than I thought.

"It doesn't matter dad. I love her and I am not giving her up."

Jake turned to Charlie who looked like he was going to attack and put his hand on his shoulder, "I'm sorry Edward. You have to make a choice then. It is either her or me."

I looked at Edward. His face had dropped but his grip still tightened around me, "I can't believe you are going to make me choose dad. I love you."

"I love you too son, but you can't live under my room if she is in your life."

"Then I choose her dad. It's always been her and I can't give her up now."

Charlie stormed out of the room and Carlisle followed him. Edward looked up at Jake, who stood there frozen. "Please don't leave me too man," Edward begged.

"I love you like a brother. I'm here for you Edward but I need to go make sure your dad doesn't do anything rash, like destroy your room, okay?"

He nodded and Jake left. We were left alone and I clung to him, "I love you."

He turned me so that I was straddling his lap, facing him. "Why Bella?"

His voice burned in agony and despair. I couldn't look him in the eyes, it was like looking into a big empty black hole and it hurt. "I told you why in the letters."

"No Bella. I need to hear it from you. Why did you leave me?"

"I didn't want to hurt you anymore. Edward after you broke your ankle I realized how fragile you really were. I couldn't take that risk anymore. I thought you would get over me, find someone else. You know be a normal, happy seventeen year old."

He cupped his hands around my face, "I can't live without you Bella. Do you know what it was like for me every day? I was barely functioning."

"Me too," I breathed.

He brought his lips to mine, "I need you Bella. You can never leave me, ever."

"I won't Edward, never. I promise. Remember I'm an essentially selfish creature. I crave your company too much to let you go."

"Then why did you bother in the first place?"

"I told you. I wanted you to try and live a normal life, one without vampires in it."

He placed his lips to mine again, "I haven't stopped loving you Isabella."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, "I never stopped loving you either Edward."

"You promise me you aren't going to leave."

"No. I told you that already. I need you too much."

"Good then get off my lap so I can use the bathroom please."

I slid off him and helped him to his feet. He about fell on his face, it was a good thing I was standing there to steady him. He ripped off all his wires and tubes from his arms and chest and slowly made his way into the bathroom. I sat on the edge of his bed… I thought he had a tube inserted so he wouldn't have to worry about the peeing thing.

"Holy shit ouch!"

Carlisle came running in, "What was that?"

"My guess is that he just pulled a tube from somewhere so he could go to the bathroom."

Carlisle just shook his head. "Yea I can imagine that would hurt." He sat down next to me on the bed. "Charlie is calming down, but he doesn't like this Bella."

"I figured as much."

"Edward will be staying with us until they reconcile this themselves."

I turned to look at him, "I'm not giving him up dad. I should have never left him in the first place."

"I'm glad you realize that now Bella. You almost lost him."

"How bad was it?"

"Well your mother eventually came around but she was just kind of empty. Rosalie is Rosalie – we both know that. Emmett lost some of his personality and well Alice and Jasper, the only reason they stayed content was because you called."

"What about you dad?"

"Let's just say I worked a lot of overtime."

"I'm sorry dad. I had to give him a chance…"

He interrupted me, "We know sweetie. But now that you are together what are you going to do if he does get injured again? You can't go running every time he breaks a bone Isabella."

"Let's just get him through senior year before we start making any drastic decisions okay?"

He nodded, "But it will need to be discussed eventually. He turns eighteen in a month."

"I know, I know. Okay."

He came out of the bathroom then looking like shit, "Can I go home now?"

I raced over to him as he collapsed into my arms, "You need something to eat."

"No hospital food, please," he moaned.

I swept him into my arms and laid him down. Carlisle looked him over and signed all the paperwork. Edward was in my bed that afternoon completely exhausted. My room had been completely rearranged to make room for Edward's things, which miraculously appeared in my room too when we got home. He slept almost twenty-four hours straight before he finally woke up.

I was right there beside him, wrapped up in his arms. "I missed this," he whispered.

I snuggled in closer to him, "Me too. Are you hungry?"

"Starving."

Right on cue Esme came in with a tray loaded with tons of choices for him to pick from. "Here you go dear. You eat what you want."

"Thanks mom," I breathed jumping off the bed and kissing her on the cheek.

She wrapped her arms around my waist, "I'm just so glad you're home Bella."

"Ditto mom. With this nice new addition and everything," I said laying back down next to Edward.

He kissed my forehead and started to dig in. Esme left us alone and I watched him eat in fascination. He cleaned off that entire tray.

"Would you like to take a shower with me?" I breathed bringing his lips to mine.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 11: Our Choice – My Decision**

**(Edward Swan)**

I was fully rested, full from Esme's delicious food and next to the love of my life. I was in complete heaven.

"I would love nothing more than to take a shower with you Isabella," I moaned going hard instantly. God I wanted her. I wanted to feel her against my skin over and over again. To be inside her was pure bliss.

She helped me to the bathroom where she shut and locked the door. I was naked first and she stared at me with wide, honey-golden eyes. She turned on the water and took off her own clothes. We stood there for awhile simply pressing our naked bodies together before getting into the shower. Thank goodness there was a seat in there for me. I wasn't sure how long my muscles would allow me to stand – I had been in a bed for five weeks.

She sat me down and gently rubbed my body with a loofah. I had no idea how my body products, toiletries, clothes, and other items from my dad's house got here but I didn't care. I caressed her thighs with my hands watching her eyes roll back in her head as I slid them further up, rubbing her folds with my fingertips.

"Oh Edward," she moaned squatting down allowing my two of my fingers to slip inside of her. I slowly twisted my fingers in and out of her, watching her face the whole time.

"You are so beautiful Bella."

I began probing her harder when she gripped my hard cock into her hand. Man she was good. We didn't stop until we felt ourselves climaxing.

"I want you inside me," she groaned sitting on my lap, wrapping her legs around my waist.

"Fuck Bella," I cried when she plunged herself onto me.

I gripped her hips as she bounced up and down, her tits so inviting. I sucked on one and bit down her nipples, causing her to moan again.

"Cum with me baby," she murmured.

She was so fucking amazing. I stood up and slammed her against the wall, plunging myself harder and faster into her. I could feel her muscles tighten around my shaft as I jetted in and out of her over and over. She threw her head back in a loud moan and I joined her as we came together.

I slipped out of her and sat back down, completely exhausted. I leaned my head against the wall and shut my eyes. I could feel her hands rubbing over me again. They moved all around my chest to my hair and down to my feet. I reached out for her and she sat on my lap. I held her tightly in my arms, "I love you Bella."

She rested her head against my shoulder as I kissed her forehead. "Let's get you back to bed."

I only nodded and felt her strong arms lift me from the shower. I only remember her whispering how much she loved me over and over as I fell asleep in her arms. I woke up and was faintly aware that it was the middle of the night. I rolled around searching for Bella but she wasn't there.

I got up and stumbled my way to the door. I needed a fucking walker I was so sore, but I made it. I stared out into the dark hallway and saw some lights on downstairs. I made my way to the steps and peered down at them. Great. I sat down and scooted my way down the steps like toddler. All I needed now was my blanky. I sat on the bottom step for a minute or two before I pulled myself up.

I could hear voices coming from the living room. "Bella I've seen it." That was Alice. I could put my finger on her voice.

"It doesn't have to be that way!" Bella shrieked.

"But you won't leave him, so what happens when he turns eighty little sister?" That had to be Emmett.

"I'll figure that out when we get to that point," she muttered back.

"I think Edward should have a say in this. It is his life we are talking about," Carlisle said as I walked into the room.

"I agree." I would have walked right in but there were more steps… fuck. I sat down again and slid down them. I could hear Emmett chuckling under his breath. "Guys if I don't get my strength back soon you are going to install ramps so I don't have to slide down the steps like a fucking two year old," I muttered dryly. Bella was there to help me up.

"I didn't know you were awake," she breathed kissing me on the lips.

"It's hard for me to sleep when you are not next to me Love."

I could hear someone – Rose – clearing their throat when we kissed again.

"Perfect now he is here so we can just ask him!" Alice said bouncing towards me.

"Ask me what Bella?"

She groaned, "Do we seriously have to do this now?"

I cupped her face into my hands, "Just tell me, please."

She sighed and pulled me towards the couch, climbing into my lap once I was seated and wrapped in a blanket. I watched all their faces, except Rose's who was glaring at me. It was Carlisle who spoke first.

"Edward. Bella has decided that she wants to keep you. She is not going to give you up again and we were just discussing the possibility of you becoming like us, to make things easier."

I nodded. I completely understood in a second why she was fighting this so hard, "Bella you have got to stop this nonsense about my soul. It is yours already, you know that."

She shook her head, "I am not going to damn your life for you Edward."

I stared into her eyes. She was a blank slate… I hated it when she shielded me. "So you are going to let me grow old while you stay frozen at seventeen?"

"That is exactly what I am going to do."

"Bella…" I waited until she looked at me. "You promised me we would stay together forever. That doesn't work if I die in seventy-some odd years."

"I won't be far behind you then," she murmured. I heard Esme gasp.

I rubbed her cheeks with my thumbs, "You know there is no other way Bella. I love you so much. I want to spend eternity with you."

Her eyes burned into mine. I could tell what she was thinking. Me and her running through the woods together – frozen in time and still madly in love. "I just can't let you do that Edward. To take away your soul like that."

"But I want you too Bells. It isn't like you are stealing my life; you are only going to make our life that much less complicated."

She shook her head. I knew we weren't going to get close to a decision tonight but it was good to know that everyone was on my side… except for Rosalie, who continued to glare. I wanted to stick my tongue out at her and ask her what the fuck her problem was but Bella dragged me back upstairs.

I fell asleep in her arms again but I wasn't out for long. I was instantly aware of the darkness that surrounded me. I called and called and there was no answer. The wind whipped around me but I couldn't move. I felt her cool arms holding me tight but I still couldn't see her.

"Edward! Edward! Open your eyes. Look at me! I'm right here, I'm not leaving you. I love you, Edward, open your eyes."

My eyes snapped open and stared straight into Bella's golden ones, "Bella," I breathed throwing my arms around her. She pulled me up into her lap and I rested my head on her shoulder, gripping her tightly around the neck. "Bella," I murmured over and over.

She waited until I quieted, "Do you want to talk to me about it?"

"We were taking a walk." I had to stop as tears filled my eyes, "then you disappeared. I called your name over and over but you were gone." Heartache and memories filled my head. I didn't realize I was in the middle of a panic attack until I felt her hand on my chest trying to calm me.

"Sshhh, Edward. It's okay. I'm here now."

"Don't leave me Bella, please don't leave me." I clung to her as tightly as my body would allow me to. She rocked me back and forth while humming until she thought I was asleep. I laid there in her arms slowly sinking back into slumber but there was a knock on the door.

"Bella, can I come in?"

"Sure Alice, what is it?"

"Is he okay?"

I felt her brush her lips to my forehead, "I think so."

I wasn't sure if Alice was sitting on the bed but I figured as much because her voice was a lot closer and I could hear her clearly now.

"This one was really bad, Bella."

"How do you know Alice?"

"Are you seriously asking me that?"

"Is this what you saw? What you were trying to tell me when I left?"

"It was like he was gone Bella. I mean he was here, going through the motions, but there was no life in him at all. When he looked at you, his eyes were so empty… it hurt to watch Bella. Then the nightmares started. You could tell immediately the next day because he was more edgy and the purple circles were so dark under his eyes."

"I can't believe I put him through all that and he still wants me."

God I love her… more than she knows I think.

"Alice, how frequently?" Her voice was just barely more than a whisper.

"At first it was every night. I thought Charlie was going to lose it but then they settled down and were a couple times a week. The more he hung out with Jake, the more he became himself and he wouldn't wake up screaming your name. The day he hit his head… well that previous night was the worst episode he had had yet. I had this feeling all day long that something was wrong and I just had to find out Bella. Don't be angry at me, please."

"You were there for him when I wasn't Alice. Why would I be mad?"

"I don't know." There was a long pause and I thought I had fallen asleep, until Alice spoke again. "You know I've seen it happen Bella and you've both never been happier."

"I just don't think I can make him choose me over everything else in his life… it just isn't fair."

"But that is his decision and if you'll remember he already chose." I heard her get up and open the door. "He chose you Bella, you!"

In the morning I was still wrapped tightly around her. I lifted my face to meet her glowing eyes beaming down at me, "Good morning sexy," she said pressing her lips to mine.

I flushed crimson and looked down, "I'm so sorry you had to see that last night Bella."

She lifted my chin with her finger, "I love you Edward. I am never leaving you again, ever!"

The passion and truth burned from her eyes to mine. I rolled her on top of me and cupped her face in my hands, "Do you honestly know how much I love you?" She nodded, "I thought I knew what I was looking for until you walked into my life. You shot across the sky and suddenly I could see clearly. I didn't really realize what I was missing until you left. I was so empty – I felt nothing at all Bella."

"I avoided my feelings all together. I think it was the only way I could cope with the feelings I didn't have any more. I too, was just empty."

"I don't want to upset you Bella, but I wrote you something that I would like you to read."

I slid out from under her and reached over to her desk where my laptop was. I handed it to her where a week ago I had written her a letter:

_My dearest Bella – _

_ I still can't figure out why you left. I know you say it is because you don't love me anymore, but in all honesty I think that you lied to me. I don't believe you Bella, because you couldn't tell me to my face. I am so lonely and hollow without you. My heart aches in ways that I didn't think were possible. I have abandoned all my friends, except Jake and even he can't completely patch me up. I am broken Bella because you are not with me. I need my other half back – you completed me Bella and without those words from your lips I can't let you go._

_ I dream about you nightly and I wake up screaming your name. I wish you could hear me because I think then you would understand how much pain I am truly in. I go through the motions of my life but they don't mean anything. I think I passed my junior year but I couldn't tell you one single thing the teacher's discussed those last months. You occupy my every thought and I can't live without you Bells. I need to see your face, hear your laugh._

_ I don't know how much longer I can do this… It is too hard to face the world – life – without you. You promised me we would always be together and I am holding you to that promise Bella. I will be here waiting for you until you come back to me._

_ Yours always – Edward_

Just rereading it made tears fall from my eyes. I had forgotten how I had poured my heart and soul into this letter.

"I had planned on giving it to Alice. I knew she would get it to you somehow."

"I would have come back to you Edward," she dry-sobbed. I clicked the laptop shut and laid it on the floor, pulling her back on top of me with my other arm.

"You did, remember? And now I am here with you… I will never let you go, so don't even try."

She placed her lips against mine, "I don't want to try." She stood up and turned back to look at me before looking down, "I want you to be like me Edward, but I can't ask you to give all that up. It is the most selfish act I could ever ask you to do."

I sat up and reached for her hands, "It isn't selfish because I want to be with you too. I want this Bella. To hold you like this forever is something that I need."

I slid my hands up her back, pulling her shirt off with my movement. I took her pert nipples into my mouth as she threw her head back in a moan. We were both soon naked pressing our bodies closer together as I rammed myself inside of her over and over. "Oh Edward!" She cried letting herself go to pleasure.

There was a knock on the door, "You know we can hear you guys!" Alice said snickering.

Bella kissed my flushed red face, "I don't care, if you don't," she murmured.

My blood boiled under my skin. I rolled us over, still inside, and hovered over her body, kissing it everywhere I could. I slowly slid myself in and out of her, rubbing my hands along her body. "I need you Bella – forever."

She didn't say anything, she only placed her lips against mine and wrapped her legs around my waist, allowing me to go deeper into her. We silenced one another's moans with passionate kisses. It was another good hour before there was a knock on the door again.

"Seriously guys! Were you interested in registering for senior classes today or not?" It was Alice again, only this time the joking in her voice was gone.

"Ugh, We'll be right out!" Bella groaned back at her.

"Is it really time for school to start already?"

"If it makes you feel any better, we will have pretty much the same schedule," she breathed kissing me again.

"It feels weird being a senior and not living with my dad. But it is a good weird, because I am with you – always."

"We should talk to Carlisle after we get back."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 12: A connection reborn**

**(Bella Cullen)**

Watching Edward thrash in my arms screaming my name was not the most ideal way to have him wake up in the morning. I had no idea how much pain I had caused him when I left. Alice explained it all to me and I just wanted to crawl into a hole and rot. These night terrors happened frequently and he had nowhere to turn to.

The letter he showed me basically left me feeling horrible. He held nothing back – if I'd of gotten this letter from Alice like he planned I would have ran straight back into his arms. I knew things were going to be difficult but he opened his heart right back open to me, even after everything I had done to him.

He was miserable and lonely and there was no one to talk to – I had done that. He had night terrors and couldn't eat or sleep – I had caused that. His father had kicked him out – I was the cause of that. At this point I was feeling not deserving at all, then he declared himself to me.

I could have never asked him to change what he was for me but he knew how much he meant to me and made his decision. I knew there was no turning back now. He was clear on what he wanted and I tried to hide how ecstatic I secretly was. To know that he would be like me and we could be together forever was simply mind-blowing and it took me all morning to wrap my head around it.

"You know Edward, this process won't be easy. Are you sure that this is really what you want?" Carlisle suggested.

"I need this Carlisle. I can't be away from her… it just isn't an option."

He didn't miss a beat and listening to him declare himself to me again made me wrap my arms tightly around him.

"I love you," I whispered.

"Well I am more than happy to do it, but you both need to make the decision of when yourselves. Let me know what you decide."

He let us sit there and Edward was the first one to speak. "Bells I think that this is something that needs to be done when I am on good terms with my dad. I can't see just leaving him without at least letting him know that I am safe and okay."

"I agree. Let's just take our senior year slowly and see what happens."

He pressed his lips to mine, "I think that is a great idea. By the way I love you too."

The next few hours we spent online doing some shopping. Edward wasn't quite up to walking around a mall yet, although in only a few days his strength had considerably improved. Carlisle had given him exercises and we, of course, had our own exercises that we liked to use.

It was surprising on Saturday afternoon when Jake pulled in the driveway. Edward had just finished his physical therapy – the real exercises – and was completely exhausted. I was the only one home since the others had decided to hunt, which was typical during our physical therapy time.

"Hey Jake!"

"You don't have to sound so enthused Bella. I know you are not happy that I am here," he muttered breezing by me in the doorway… man he smelled like wet dog.

"No Jake, I am glad that you put aside our differences to come and see Edward. He will be very happy to see you."

"Where is he?"

"Napping upstairs. Come on up with me though, he won't mind being woken up to see you."

He followed me, hesitantly at first but noticed that I wasn't slowing down for him. I think he breathed a sigh of relief when we entered the bedroom where Edward was sleeping. I launched myself onto the bed, kissing him on the cheek to wake him up. He moved his lips quickly to mine and rolled me on top of him before I could even say anything.

He secured his face to mine and I didn't want to pull away, "Edward?"

"What?" he mumbled in between kisses.

"You have a visitor."

He kissed me one more time then sat up with me in his lap before turning to face Jake. "Hey man! How've you been?"

Jake strolled right over and sat himself on my computer chair, "I'm all right, what about you?"

"Are you kidding me Jake? This is like heaven," he said looking directly at me.

"So can I talk to you about something Edward?"

"Of course you can Jake. Anything you have to say can be said in front of Bella though, she would just listen to us if she left anyway."

"No I wouldn't Edward. Not if you didn't want me to," I interjected.

"No it's fine Edward. Well I just wanted to talk to you about what all happened at the hospital."

"My dad made me choose Jake. What was I supposed to do?"

"I know. Billy has been trying to talk him out of it, but he is so stubborn. But my dad does say that he wants to know how you are doing, even though he won't admit it. He is still your dad Edward and he cares about you."

"You are probably right but he had no reason to talk to me like Jake. It killed me to have to choose. It is my senior year and he will miss all of it if he doesn't just give in and deal with the fact that Bella and I are a package deal."

"It hasn't been that long, maybe he just needs more time?"

"I guess. But hey how are you and Leah doing?" He flushed a deep shade of crimson and Edward perked up. "You didn't! Man, are you serious? That is so awesome!"

I was lost, "Am I missing something?"

"Can you tell Bella?" I shook my head. "It must be a guy thing then," he said shrugging his shoulders.

"It was right after you were admitted to the hospital. I felt miserable Edward. I thought I had lost my best friend and Leah was there to comfort me, take my mind off things."

Edward laughed, "Did it work?"

"You could say that." He had a smug smile on his face – that was when I got it.

"Was she your first?"

Jake looked at me, I think shocked that I had asked that. "She was Bella."

"You don't have any reason to embarrassed, Edward was my first and I was his."

His eyes grew as big as saucers, "You are able to be _that_ close?"

I nodded, "It can be difficult but I love him so much that I know I could never possibly hurt him." I felt Edward's arms tighten around me and I turned to look at him, "Let's just say Jake that the benefits greatly outweigh the risks."

Jacob changed the subject, "So school starts Monday right?"

"Yea. It will be nice to get back into a schedule again."

"Do you think you will be able to handle everything? I mean you did have a head injury."

"I don't feel any different Jake, but I guess we will just have to wait and see."

The talking continued for another hour or so until I heard my family arrive back home. Jake left promptly after that and Edward and I continued to cuddle in our bed until he fell asleep. Alice came floating in soon after Jake left.

"I'm glad you let the dog out," she muttered sitting herself down on the bed across from us.

"Be nice Alice, he is Edward's best friend." I checked to make sure he was still sleeping.

"Does physical therapy really make him that tired?"

"Parts of it," I said giggling to myself.

She laughed with me, "I am glad you are so happy Bella. It is nice to have you home again."

"It's nice to be home. So what's up?"

"Well, I mean it is nothing I think, but I keep seeing flashes of a new student."

"Then why bring it up if it is nothing?"

"Well I think he is like us. I have seen you two hanging out after school a few times."

"Oh. Do you think he is curious about our coven?"

"Or wants to join it? Look Bella I am not sure but I will get to the bottom of this. He is a move in and won't be starting until January."

"January? Then why are you bringing this up now?"

She hesitated, "Because in these flashes you guys are a couple."

I looked back at him, he was still sleeping – thank goodness. "Alice, are you sure? I mean this is months away right?"

"Look Bella I don't like seeing this either. Do you want to know what happened when I first saw this flash? I ran into a tree and snapped it clean off its base. It scares the hell out of me Bella."

"Well just keep your eyes peeled then and keep me updated, preferably when he is not awake. I don't want to cause him any stress while he is healing."

Monday morning rolled around and Alice, Edward and I were off to start our senior year. I put this new student crap out of my head and focused getting Edward from class to class. We were, of course, the center of attention for the first few weeks but then Jessica was caught cheating on Mike with Eric so the focus shifted slightly by the end of September. Alice hadn't had a premonition about this new mystery man in a while so that was good to hear. Maybe he got scared and decided to not check out the infamous Cullen clan after all.

Edward was back to his normal self, kind of, by October. He always had the ability to tell what people were thinking by watching their reactions, but now it was more refined. He was getting really good at reading my face and body actions – that made me nervous. October flew by and before we realized it, it was Thanksgiving.

There was still no contact from Charlie but it was something that I was working on.

"Edward I really think you should call him and wish him a Happy Thanksgiving."

"He knows where I am."

"It would be a good reason to call him though and it might break the ice between you two."

"Bella, please drop it okay?"

Edward had consistently kept up his friendship with Jacob Black as well. They talked on the phone a couple times a week and visited one another on the weekends – we knew double dates weren't an option so we didn't press the idea. Even Jake was trying to convince Edward to talk to his dad.

"Drop it Jake!" he yelled into the phone.

"I don't care man. I'm not doing it, so move on to your next topic. How's Leah?"

It was something that was tried from every angle but with no luck. I dropped it and figured he would do it when he was ready and I was right. The weekend after Thanksgiving he picked up the phone.

"Hey dad, it's me. I just wanted to tell you Happy Thanksgiving. I miss you dad and well call me if you want to talk. Bye."

I threw my arms around his neck, "I am so proud of you Edward. That took a lot of guts."

"Well it isn't fair that my mom and Billy have to relay all this information to him."

That weekend Charlie didn't return Edward's phone call, but he had made the first step. We went back to school and studied hard for our upcoming finals. I couldn't believe our senior year was slipping away so quickly, soon Edward and I would have to discuss his transformation. It was during the middle of the night right before our first day of finals that I heard Alice. I slid from the bed, not disturbing Edward, and went down into the living room.

I could see her glassed over look and knew that it was just the beginning. I sat as patiently as I could while she twitched and rolled back and forth in Jasper's lap. She finally snapped out of it and stared directly at me. "So much pain," she mumbled.

"Alice what is it?" I was getting really nervous now.

"He's coming Bella and he is like us. He will be here next week – he has been watching you and finds you incredibly intriguing."

"I will just have to shield him then," I mumbled.

"I don't think it will be that simple Bella. He is determined to have you."

"What about Edward?"

"That is where the pain comes in. I can't quite get a read on him because of you."

"I won't let this happen to us again. He means too much to me."

"Are you considering changing him sooner?" Jasper asked.

"Absolutely not. Especially since he is still not on speaking terms with his father."

The next day I was miserable and could have cared less about the stupid finals. Edward immediately noticed my damper mood and tried to cheer me up but to no avail. I just wanted to kick this new vampire for trying to ruin what we had just fixed. We were lying together studying again that night when he finally spoke up.

"Will you please tell me what you are thinking before I go mad Bella?"

"Nothing."

He threw our books to the floor and cupped my face, rolling under me. "Don't shut me out. What is bothering you?"

"It will only upset you and besides we need to focus on our last final tomorrow."

He groaned, "You are killing me Bella. I can't stand the silence between us." He pressed his lips to mine.

I reacted more physically that I think he was expecting. I ripped at the buttons in his shirt and pressed my hands against his beautiful ivory skin. I moved my lips to his chest and kissed down his stomach, unhooking his belt and zipper in the process. I could feel him grow immediately stiff as I rubbed him through his pants before pulling everything off him.

I took him into my mouth and listened to his moans, "Oh Bella."

I pleasured him up and down over and over until he squirted a load into my mouth. I kissed my way back up his body until I reached his lips. He pulled my shirt about my head and quickly unclasped my bra, taking my pert nipples into his mouth. I yanked my jeans off and slammed myself down on him, causing us both to moan loudly.

We rocked back and forth on one another over and over until we both came with pleasure. We didn't stop there either, Edward rolled himself on top and hovered himself above my body, sliding himself gently in and out of me, "I love you Bella."

Our love making was long overdue. We had had too many romps in the sack lately. It was different and exciting to take it slow and sensually. We pressed ourselves together so longingly that our bodies reacted as if we were having wild passionate sex. His body jolted with an orgasm and he collapsed onto me in tears. I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight until he quieted.

"I love you," I whispered.

He lifted his head and placed his lips against mine with devotion, "I have only ever loved you my Bella."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 13: Pure Bliss and Heartache**

**(Edward Swan)**

Bella was keeping something from me but I did what she said and focused on my last final. We were lying around on Saturday after she had come back from hunting, "Let's go upstairs. I want to talk."

I had been wanting to know what she wasn't telling me and I had a feeling I was about to find out. I followed her upstairs and she cuddle into my chest on the bed. I wrapped my arms gently around her, "Bella I don't want any secrets between us. Please tell me what is bothering you."

She looked up at me with grief in her eyes and the doorbell rang. "I don't want to tell you this Edward… I don't want to hurt you."

My heart leaped into my throat, "Tell me Bella, please?"

She sighed, "Alice has seen someone coming to visit us, someone like us. He is here now talking to Carlisle."

"So if he is like you why are you trembling Bells?"

"Because Alice has seen me and him together – as a couple. He will be relentless in trying to steal me away from you. He doesn't know about you at all, but he knows everything about me and wants me Edward."

I tightened my embrace around her and kissed her forehead, "Well you are mine and he will see that."

"He is a tracker. He followed me here from Canada. That was where I was when I found out about… well you know. He has been watching us – well me. He finds me intriguing and won't stop until I am his."

I lifted her face to meet mine, "I'm not letting you go Bella. You are mine!"

She pressed her lips fiercely to mine, knocking me onto my back and climbing up on top of me. "I love you and only you Edward. I am not leaving you."

"Make love to me Bella. Fuck me so hard that you scream out my name over and over."

Her lips moved with mine again and I could tell my words had the effect I wanted them to. She pulled me up from the bed and walked me to the bathroom. She quickly strips us of our clothing and presses her body tightly against mine, "Would you like to take a shower with me?"

I only nod and follow her into the steamy water. She begins to wash herself down as I stand behind her, memorizing the beauty in her body. She turned around to face me, "Edward I love you." She says it with conviction and pure fortitude. I don't know what my face looks like but she knows that I am willing to fight for and with her against this guy.

Bella's eyebrows crease at the center and she looks completely stressed again. Her bottom lip is between her teeth and it is turning me on. I want her to suck on me like she is that lip of hers. I lean down and kiss the crease in her brow then lift her hand to my lips and kiss all five of her fingers before placing it on my shoulder.

Without looking at her I lean forward until her wet breasts are pressed against my chest. I move her hair away from her ear with my nose as I wrap my arms even tighter around her back. Her eyes are tightly closed. She is unconsciously grinding her hips up and down against my thigh. Her leg that is hitched around my waist is pulling me closer.

"Do you know how much I love you Bella?" I bite onto her ear lobe causing her to literally wither under my touch.

I pull back from her and pin her shoulders to the shower wall. I reach down as I stare directly into her eyes and pull her other leg around my waist. It would be too easy to let my dick fall right into her but I keep it pressed against her stomach for now. Bella locks her ankles and places her nails into my shoulder as her head falls back hitting the shower wall with a thump. After her legs are securely locked in place I hold her arms above her head with by her wrists. She is moaning and biting on her bottom lip as she thrusts her hips against me over and over. I can feel how hot she is, I can smell her… I can practically fucking taste her in the air.

"Bella open your eyes and look at me." I groan as the heat from her sex calls my name.

"What?" she says with heavy eyes.

When she starts to fight against the hold I have on her wrists I push on them harder. I lean forward and rub my nose along her jaw bone and kiss right under her jaw. Her skin is hot and moist just like she is between her legs. I close my eyes as I try to concentrate on what I want to tell her and not her body as it lures me in.

"Edward, please." she mumbled.

"Stay fucking still." I say though clinched teeth, I'm really not trying to be a fucking jerk but my judgment is clouded and I need to hear something before I make love to my girl like I so desperately need to. "Tell me you won't leave me again baby." I say in a more softer, sweeter voice.

I thrust my erection into her stomach causing her and me both to moan in unison. My dick is throbbing, begging me to just drop it into her sweet, rewarding entrance. I bite lightly on her collar bone, letting my tongue linger across her skin while I kiss all the way up to her cheek. "Please tell me you will never leave me again Bella." I place my forehead on hers, closing my eyes while I wait for her to say it.

The shower water is still hot; the sound of it hitting our skin and the shower floor accompanies the sound of our heavy breathing in this small bathroom. The few seconds seem like minutes but I never doubt that she will say it.

"I swear I will never leave you Edward." her voice is low but I hear it.

Without hesitation I pull back on my hips and let myself fall into place. My tip is right at her opening, we both hiss in anticipation. I let go of her wrist, her arms cling around me. She bites down on my shoulder while I place my hand flat against the tile on the wall and the other on her hip. My eyes look from her down to her lips. Bella's mouth is slightly open, just enough so that her panting can be heard. I cover her mouth with mine. "I love you." I say into her mouth.

With the thumping of both of our heartbeats echoing in my head I grip tighter onto her hip. She whimpers and our eyes lock on to each other. Bella leans forward and whispers in my ear. "I love you."

It's the last thing I need before I thrust as deeply into her as I can. It's like a shock of white light blinding me as soon as I am inside of her. The grunts that come from the both of us are disturbing and fucking erotic. If I were strong enough I would dig my fingers into the tile wall, instead I just settle for pushing myself deeper into Bella. I stop once I am as far in as I can get, her legs have death grip around my waist and her fingers are gripping my shoulders tightly – no doubt giving me bruises.

I pull out of her until I am almost all the way out, I pound back in and we both scream out as the sensation of being connected takes over every single sense we have. I pull out and push back in again but this time her back slides across the tile wall and we both fall into the corner of the shower stall.

…but even this can't break our rhythm.

I make sure that she won't slide across the wall again and pull back, taking her beauty in. "You are so fucking beautiful Bella." Her breasts heave up and down with her breathing, her nipples are hard and have my name written all over them. I lean down and take her right breast into my mouth. I bite, pull and suck, while I continue to pump in and out of her until she is putty in my hands.

"Edward…..oh!" she moans as I bite harder on to her nipple.

I let it go and smile before kissing her lips, "That's my girl." I say smugly as I push into her with an extra amount of strength.

I place both hands on her hips; Bella presses herself against the shower wall and arches her back. Her smell fills the air and I swear to god she is dripping fucking wet, the sound of me sliding in and out of her only makes me want her more.

Bella lets her back fall back from the arch it was just in. Her breasts bounce up and down as I pound into her over and over. She wrapped her fingers into my hair and pulls my face down to hers by my hair and licks across my lips; she pulls my head back and begins to suck in my Adams apple.

It's the last fucking straw before my knees give out and we fall to the shower floor. Our bodies never disconnect and we continue to go with the flow. I am on top of her and able to push off the shower wall with my feet, giving me more leverage and more power to dig deep inside her. The water is pounding on my back, falling over my shoulders onto her face but it doesn't seem to bother her. Her arms are above her head, she is also pushing off of the shower wall, driving her hips down with almost super human strength. I'm sure if we were strong enough to break our pelvises just to get closer we would do it.

Just as I am starting to get lost inside of Bella she pulls her knee up to my chest and pushes me back. I want to kill her when my dick slips out and I fall back, but she doesn't give me a chance. She gets onto her knees, pushing on my shoulder until I am the one flat on my back. She climbs over my body and straddles my hips. Her face is consorted with a prideful smile, it's almost like my penis gravitates towards her and she knows it.

She grabs a hold of me and places me right at her hot center. Bella rubs the tip of my penis up and down the length between her moist folds, its fucking toe curling. Her head is fallen back, her hair is wet and dripping onto my legs. She then quits the shit and drops down onto me. Her hands are on my chest, her arms squeezing her tits together making them look fuller than they usually are. I reach up and palm both of them, squeezing them until she whimpers. Her whimpers, moans and damn near screams are glorious causing her thrusts to become deeper and longer. Her eyes are closed and she is biting on her bottom lip in the sexiest way. "Fuck," she whispers under her breath.

I get so fucking excited that I grip onto her hips and move her on and off of me faster. Bella's eyes roll into the back of her head, she arches her back again placing her palms behind her on my thighs. When I start to feel her contracting around my dick I know that she is close, as am I.

I sit up with Bella still attached to me. I kiss her lips, but she bites on mine. I lift Bella up and off of me. I bring us both to our knees and turn her around before she can protest, not that she would. I push her chest against the shower door and spread her thighs with my knee. I lean my lips over her ear as I push two fingers into her and back out. I place the two fingers into my mouth. Bella lets her face fall against the shower door and swallows. "You taste so fucking good baby."

Bella lets her head fall against my chest. I wrap one of my arms around her chest as plunge myself back inside of her. I find her other hand and intertwine them against the glass shower door leaving a hand print as our hands slide down the steamy surface but never part. I kiss the back of her neck, drag my teeth across her shoulder and groan in her ear when she starts to tighten up around me.

"Edward…" Bella says with a shaky voice.

"I know baby," I say back.

I kiss her warm cheek and slow my pace savoring the feeling of sliding in and out of her body. With our intertwined hands she reaches back and grips around my neck holding me indefinitely to her. Her mouth is open, her tongue darts out licking her lips sporadically. Her arousal assaults my nose and her naked skin on mine electrifies me.

Bella begins to push back and down on me as her orgasm becomes more predominant. The faint sound of her skin slapping on mine starts up my own orgasm. I am overcome with emotion, purely love and desire. The pressure in my stomach causes some weird fucking sounds to escape my lips but I can give a fuck.

"I love you baby….so fucking much." I whisper as we start to cum together.

My words cause Bella to push back on me with an extra amount of force and I fall back a little. I can feel my dick starting to pulsate and I slam Bella into the shower door pressing her against the warm glass. I plunge into her hard and deep as her body pulls and tugs at me.

"OH MY EDWARD!" she screams while pulling my hair.

I kiss her shoulder and her face as I release inside of her. The passion causes me to fall back on to my heels bringing her with me. Her body is sucking me dry taking all of my resolve and ambition with it. I scream her fucking name as loud as I can and don't give a fuck who can hear me. My entire being feels tingly and my lips are numb, experiencing the best orgasm I have ever had in my life. Bella plainly takes my breath away.

Her head rests on my shoulder, her eyes are closed, mouth wide open with my name being called from it over and over. I just watch her in amazement as she rides the rest of her orgasm out. Bella is the one pushing herself back and forth on me, they become shorter but harder as she reaches the end.

She smiles but keeps her eyes closed. While I catch my breath and regain the feeling in the rest of my body I kiss Bella all over her face. I pull the hair off of her shoulder and let my trail of kisses fall there too. "Are you ready to get out baby?" I ask reluctantly. We could live in this shower, in this moment. Forever.

"Let's get out." I say again with more kissing.

She shakes her head. "Uh uh." she mumbles as a huge grin spreads across her flushed face. Bella leans her head back against my shoulder so that she can look at me. The slight movement causes me to hiss, I am still deep inside of her, and every little movement excites me – she notices.

I hold her hips down when I recognize her mischievous smile. I don't want her to stop, fuck no. There is no Bella like a naked, horny, teasing Bella….I just want to play for a while.

We moved to the bathroom floor and even the counter before I was completely exhausted. She carried me to bed and wrapped us tightly together – still naked – in our comforter. I was asleep within minutes but I heard Alice come in later in the night.

"He's out hunting with Carlisle. He is staying here so we can all keep an eye on him. He seems perfectly nice but he is obsessed with you Bella. I think he was a little shocked to see you so attached to a human, and you really threw him off with the shower incident… Nice by the way."

"I love Edward and James can just stick it Alice."

"He is infatuated with you Bella. He is an excellent tracker, I will give him that."

"Edward will be changed in only a few short months so I don't even know why James is bothering."

"Because he loves you Bella. I know it may be hard to wrap your head around it, but James is in love with you."

I heard Bella groan before I rolled over and fell back asleep. The morning came with a vengeance. I wanted to personally claw out James' eyes. How dare he come here and think he can have my Bella! He's going to have to learn a few house rules and soon.

"Morning," Bella breathed kissing me on the lips.

"Morning," I grumbled.

She took my face in her hands, "I love you Edward and only you. I've waited almost a century to find you and I am not going to leave you now."

I kissed her back and rolled myself on top of her, grinding my hips into hers. We were interrupted by Alice, "Good morning! I brought you something to eat Edward."

I looked at her with a death glare and Bella tried to hold her laugh in. I got all excited and worked up and now Alice was standing there with a smile on her face. "Come back later Alice," I moaned pressing my lips to Bella's again.

She ignored me and sat herself down on the bed. I contemplated whether or not I should just continue, but I sighed in defeat and rolled off Bella. Bella placed her hand on my cheek to calm me, "I love you."

I sat up and Alice handed me the tray of food. You would think it was awkward having two vampires – one naked lying next me – staring at me while I ate but I was used to it now. "So where is our mystery vampire?" I muttered.

Bella casually rolled onto her side and threw her right arm around me, burying her face into my side.

"With Emmett and Jasper. They are keeping him busy for the day."

I heard Bella grunt something but I ignored it, "Tell me Alice. I want to know everything."

"I can't unless Bella relinquishes her shield. That was another reason I wanted to talk to you guys this morning."

Bella curled deeper into me, "I don't want to know Alice because it is not going to happen!"

I pressed my face down into her hair, "I do Bella. I need to know what he is going to do so that we can plan accordingly. I will not lose you again."

I think Bella caved because Alice immediately started focusing. In a few minutes her eyes fluttered open. "Oh no," she breathed.

"What is it Alice?"

"Your dad Edward…"

I flew from the bed, not caring that I had no clothes on. I dressed as quickly as I could and raced down the stairs. Bella was beside me in an instant, "I'm faster!"

We flew to Charlie's and I about busted the door down. "Dad? Dad?"

He came stumbling down the stairs, I hadn't realized how early it was, "Edward is that you?"

"Dad are you okay?"

"I'm fine. What on earth are you doing here this early on a Saturday?"

I had to make up something and quick, "I was worried when you didn't call me back."

He crossed his arms, "I haven't gotten around to it yet."

I walked up to him and put my hands around his shoulders, "But you're okay?"

He uncrossed his arms and stared at me, "I'm fine Edward," he said walking out of my embrace.

I followed him in to the living room. For the first time I had realized that Bella wasn't in the house with me. "Look dad, since I'm here can we talk?"

"I guess," he mumbled.

I sat down across from him, "I love you dad, but I love her too. She is everything to me. I know what she did to me was wrong but she was just doing it because she thought she wasn't good enough for me. When I had my accident she realized just how much she needed me in her life and that is why I forgave her. I don't feel complete unless I am with her – she is my soul mate."

He listened to my speech and shrugged, "Not surprised I guess. I knew when she left… well I knew how you would take it. You have never really been a dater."

"Can we just put all the shit behind us and move on? Focus on the last few months that I will be here in Forks?"

He stood up, "I would like that son. I'm sorry I was so stubborn about all this, but I think there is a way I can make it up to you." He led me upstairs and into his bedroom. He started digging through his sock drawers until he found a small case. "It was your great-grandmothers. From the way you sound, I think you will need this sooner rather than later." I opened the small jewelry box and gasped.

"Dad are you sure?" He only nodded. "Thank you so much dad. I really appreciate this, so much. There aren't really words."

My dad had a funny face just then. He kept trying to catch his breath and he suddenly got very pale – almost transparent. He stumbled towards the hallway and I caught him by the arm, "Dad. Are you okay?"

His eyes rolled back into his head and his free arm gripped his chest area. I watched him continue to struggle through the pain until he dropped to the floor.

"Bella!" I screamed.

I was hovering over my dad, my cell phone dialing 911 in the process. "Edward what is it?"

I didn't even have to answer her and she was on the other phone calling Carlisle then Jacob. Carlisle got to the house first – a full five minutes before the ambulance. "He has had a heart attack Edward. It doesn't look good."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 14: Losing Everything**

**(Bella Cullen)**

Edward crumbled into my arms at the hospital. Carlisle had come out to announce that Charlie had not made it. He was a mess, sobbing and holding on to me tightly. "Sshhh, Everything will be okay Edward. I'm here, sshhh."

"I… can't… believe… he's… gone!" he sobbed.

"I love you, sshhh," I said kissing his forehead.

That night he cried in my arms for two hours before he finally fell asleep. Carlisle was ready to go with a sedative but I didn't want Edward to have to rely on medicine during this difficult time. He slept for twelve straight hours and I never left his side.

When he finally woke up I pulled him into my lap and wrapped my arms around him, "Everything is all taken care of Edward. You don't have to do anything." He began to quietly sob into my shoulder and there was a light knock on the door.

"Bella, I have some food for Edward if he is up to it?"

He shook his head but I called Esme in anyway, "Sure mom, he needs to eat something. Just leave it for now. Thanks."

I stroked his back with my hands until he looked up at me. "When will my mom be here?"

"This afternoon sweetie. Can you please try and eat something for me?"

He nodded. I slid from the bed and brought him the tray of food. He picked at his eggs, eating a total of four bites, but he downed the orange juice so at least he was getting something in his system. He crawled back into my arms and stayed there for a while. I could hold him like this forever but I knew he would feel better if he got cleaned up.

"Would you like me to help you shower and get dressed?"

"Please," he said looking at me but not meeting my eyes.

I carefully washed his body and helped him dress into an all black, yet comfy, outfit. He gripped my hand and followed me down the steps to the kitchen. I poured him another glass of orange juice, "What would you like to eat baby?"

"Just a sandwich is fine Bella."

I watched him eat and he did actually finish everything. "That's my Edward," I sighed rubbing his cheek with my thumb. While I was cleaning up the kitchen his eyes followed my every move. That was when I heard Renee's car, "Your mom is here babe."

His head snapped up and he bolted to the front door. He watched her car pull up and he dashed out to meet her. She embraced him like he was two again, "Oh sweetheart. Sshhh it's okay. I'm here now. Everything is going to be okay."

I made my way out to help her with her things and their embrace never stopped. She made her way to the house with him and I pointed up the stairs. Once at the top she turned to look at me, "Which one is his room?" she mouthed.

I led her to where he slept – our room – and she sat on the bed with him. He started trembling and shaking violently and her arms tightened around him. "I got you Edward. I'm here now. I am not leaving, sshhh."

She eventually got him to sleep and I could see the pain in her eyes. "Renee would you like something to eat?"

"I am not sure I should leave him Bella."

"No that is fine I can bring you something up."

"That would be lovely dear. Thank you Bella."

She traced the lines of his face with her fingers, "Has he been like this since it happened?"

I only nodded then left. When I came back he had been moved to the center of the large bed and was wrapped up in the comforter – I wonder how she managed that? I handed her the tray of food, "Here you are Renee."

She looked up at me, "Bella you are everything he has told me about. No wonder he loves you so much."

I went to sit on the opposite side of Edward so that he was in between us. I rested my head on the back of the headboard, "He means everything to me Renee. I can't stand seeing him hurt like this."

"It is going to be a very long road for him. He is lucky to have you and your family."

"We have everything arranged already, I hope you don't mind. We just thought it would be easier for both of you. The showings are tomorrow afternoon and evening and then the funeral is on Friday."

"What about house and the will?"

"The lawyer is going to give Edward some time before he makes that phone call but he gets it all. My family is currently there fixing everything up for after the funeral luncheon."

She got up and moved around the bed to me, "You are amazing Isabella. I don't know if I can ever thank you and your family enough."

I embraced her back, fighting my thirst… it had been awhile – too long actually. She went to sit back down on the other side of the bed. "Renee you can make yourself comfortable here. I have some errands I need to run quickly – I was waiting for you to get here so that he wouldn't be alone."

"Oh no problem dear. I would really like to clean up after the flight."

"Of course. The bathroom is straight through that door. I'm sure you will find everything you need."

"Thank you so much Bella. I guess I will see you in the morning. I think I will go to bed shortly after I take a shower. Are you sure it's okay that I stay in here with him?"

I got up to leave, "It is what he would want."

Closing that door had been the hardest thing that I had to do so far in spite of everything that had happened. I went to hunt – Renee smelled so good that I needed to be full in order to concentrate around her. It didn't take long, I was back within two hours. I could hear everyone in the living room, so I decided to join them, knowing Renee and Edward were asleep upstairs.

"Bella, so glad you could join us," Esme breathed wrapping her arms around me. "Everything is all set to go at Charlie's place. How is Edward?"

I glanced around the room and that was when his eyes met mine. They were full of concern and lust and it made me want to vomit, "He's been better. Renee is with him now so I think that should help."

"It has been a rough couple of days for him. He is so lucky to have you Bella," Alice said standing and taking my hand. She led to the couch where he and Jasper were sitting. She pulled me into her lap like I was a toddler – I wasn't going to complain. I had done so much comforting lately that it was nice to be on the receiving end.

We all sat there and talked until the sun came up. I stayed in Alice's lap until her and Jasper decided that they should hunt one last time before the day's events. I didn't blame them and I would have gone with them had I not just hunted myself. This left me alone with him for the first time since he had arrived.

"Bella," he started.

I put my hand up to stop him, "James, I am in love with Edward and there is nothing you can do to change that."

He stood up to leave the room but brushed his fingers across my cheekbone in a surprising movement. "I'm not giving up on you just yet my Love. Give it time and you will be mine."

He left just when Rose entered, "Fucking jerk." I muttered. I looked up at her, "Rose so help me I am going to rip him apart. Keep him away from me!"

I stormed out of the room and upstairs. I was hoping they were awake – wrong. I sat down in my computer chair and stared at him while he slept. All the worry lines had faded but the area around his eyes was swollen and red. You could tell he had been crying. I ran my fingers through his messy bronze hair and stroked his cheeks my fingers, "I love you," I breathed kissing him lightly on the forehead.

This caused him to stir and wake up Renee, "Oh good morning Bella."

"I'm sorry Renee I just couldn't stay away from him any longer." She sat up and looked down at her son.

"I can't imagine how hard this is on you Bella, seeing him like this."

"I've had worse," I mumbled. Images of his panic attack and everything he went through when I left him flooded into my head.

She let her head fall into her hands, "I just can't believe this is really happening. I mean Charlie is gone – forever. I can't quite wrap my head around it."

The morning went by quickly and we all headed to the funeral parlor. It was literally gut-wrenching to see Edward this way. He had no emotion at all in his face as he talked and greeted everyone that stopped in. The tears kept flowing from his eyes and I wanted to just take him away from all this grief and make him forget who he was. I was on the brink of losing my mind.

James kept his eyes on me the whole time too, which was really starting to piss me off. I stood diligently by Edward's side the entire time and tried to focus on him. When the visiting hours were over, Edward crumbled into my arms. I held him up and wrapped my arms tightly around his waist, "I love you."

He crushed his lips to mine and I could feel in his touch. When we got home, Esme had offered Renee a very spacious guest bedroom at the other end of the house. I helped Edward get undressed and drew us a bath. He slid in first, holding my hand and guiding me in after him. He pulled me into his chest and we sat there. It faintly reminded me of our first time in that hotel room and I giggled.

He pulled my head back to look into my eyes, "What's so funny?"

"I was just remembering out infamous bathtub encounter several months back," I sighed bring my lips to his.

"Would you like to reenact that love?" he whispered.

"You need your rest Edward. Just relax right now."

He slid further down into the tub and rested his head on the edge. Tears slowly started to drip from his eyes. "I can't believe he is gone."

"Sshhh, Edward it's all right I am here." I cuddled into his chest and he wrapped his arms around me.

"I need you Isabella," he mumbled.

"I am not going anywhere baby. I will always be right here with you – always."

He sat up and looked around the bathroom floor. He reached for his black pants and pulled a small box from the pocket. "I was going to wait to do this but I need you to declare yourself to me Bella."

"Edward I love you. I am not leaving you."

He kissed my forehead and flipped open the velvet covered box, "Marry me Isabella Cullen," he breathed.

I took the box from his hand and stared at the beautiful ring. "Edward where did you get this? It's beautiful."

I looked into his eyes and he stared longingly back into mine, "Marry me?"

I only nodded and slid the ring onto my now trembling finger as I placed my lips against his. The electricity flowed between us and he hands became gripping and tight around my hips as he slid me down on his length. I threw my head back in a soft moan and began to glide up and down him, his hands on my hips guiding me. I could feel him lose control quickly as he thrusted his hips upward faster.

"Oh Bella," he moaned as I pressed my lips to his.

"I love feeling you inside of me," I murmured and he lost it. He bucked and slammed himself as hard as he could into me, finally letting loose and collapsing back against the tub walls.

I kept my lips on his as I rolled my hips back and forth making him succumb to me again. We made love in the tub until the water went cold and then we decided to hop in the shower to warm up. He lifted me up, allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist as he pushed himself back inside of me. My back was against the shower wall as we lost ourselves over and over again.

We eventually got out and he fell asleep in my arms, still naked but wrapped in the comforter – our bodies pressed together.

The next morning before he woke up I caught myself staring at that ring. The way the sunshine hit it and bounced off the diamond made think that I never ever was going to take this thing off. I even considered super gluing it to my skin. I knew he had to be up soon but I needed to go tell someone. I was doing cartwheels in my head and I wanted to scream from a mountain top how in love I was with Edward Swan, my fiancé.

I leaned down to kiss his forehead, "I love you," I murmured.

His eyes fluttered open, "I love you Isabella," he whispered.

"Would you like some breakfast?" He only nodded and we got up and threw on robes, since we slept ala natural last night.

Everyone was in the kitchen when we got downstairs. Alice had a pissed off look on her face and she was concentrating really hard on something. I ignored their glaring golden eyes and helped Edward get his breakfast. He sat down on the nearest bar stool and I hovered over him while he ate.

I could hear Renee coming down the stairs and I knew that shit was about to hit the fan. How did they all know already? I knew I was shielding last night so there was no way Alice saw this coming. Renee helped herself to a bowl of cereal and sat next to Edward. I casually leaned in on the other side of him, resting my hands on the counter top.

Then Renee's eyes about bulged out of her head and she choked on her breakfast. "Is there something you two want to tell us?"

I looked at Edward and shrugged… it was his call. "Yes," he started calmly. "I asked Bella to be my wife last night and she said yes."

The way he said wife made my knees weak – oh the power this human had over me!

Renee jumped from her barstool and wrapped her arms around us, Esme wasn't too far behind. "Oh you two. I am so happy!" Esme squealed.

"I guess Congratulations are in order," Carlisle said extending his hand to Edward.

"Thank you Carlisle. I will take good care of her, I promise."

"You'd better buddy, or you have to answer to me," Emmett said placing his hands on Edward's shoulders.

Even with all the excitement that morning held we still had a funeral and a luncheon afterward that we had to get through. Edward started trembling as soon as we were alone again. "I don't know if I can do this Bella. I miss him so much."

He crumbled to his knees and I rushed to his side, "I will be right beside you the whole day. I will never leave your side – even when you have to go to the bathroom."

He looked up at me, "Promise?"

I placed my hand over his beating heart, "This is mine now. I have no intention of breaking it again."

I helped him to his feet and we both got dressed. Even considering the circumstances, he sure knew how to pull off a simple black suit. I wanted to jump him right then and there. He looked at me and smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. I was in agony watching him pace back and forth before we left. He was so happy not two hours ago and then reality came crashing down on him.

"Let's get this over with," he muttered pulling me towards my car. He had told his mom that he wanted to drive with just me and I knew it was because he was going to lose it right after the ceremony and didn't want anyone to see.

The funeral service was very nice. Renee and Billy Black both spoke about Charlie. Edward didn't show any emotion the entire time. My family kept whispering to me if he was okay and I only nodded in response. He was bottling it all up and he was going to break very soon. At the cemetery Edward let a few tears escape and I wiped them from his cheeks. He rested his head on my shoulder and I wrapped my arms around him. The panic attack was slowly starting to leak out.

Edward left my side only once and it was when he and Renee stood by the casket after the service – right before they lowered Charlie into the cold, hard ground forever. I rushed to Carlisle's side.

"Edward is going to break soon Carlisle. Is there anything that will help him sleep tonight?"

He nodded and pulled a prescription bottle from his jacket pocket, "I figured he might need these. Give him one before he goes to sleep. Let me know if you think he needs anything else."

"Thanks dad," I said kissing his cheek and running back to Edward before he even knew I was gone. He turned around but didn't meet my eyes. I held out my hand for him and he took it weakly. I switched hands with him and wrapped my arm around his waist to help him to the car.

Renee rode with us to Charlie's house for the luncheon. We didn't speak on the short drive there. Renee got out before us and I got out to open his car door. I leaned down to Edward taking his face into my hands and placing my lips against his, "You can do this. I'm not going to leave your side."

He nodded and I helped him from the car. The luncheon was nice and Charlie's house was filled with old pictures and soft music. People talked about him and the memories they had. When they all started to leave I led Edward upstairs. He surprised me when he turned the opposite direction and headed towards Charlie's room. "I want to stay here tonight Bella – alone."

I opened the door for him and took his face into my hands again, "I will be right down the hall if you need anything." I slipped a pill into his hand, "Take this before you go to bed. It will help."

He pressed his lips to mine and nodded, "I love you."

I went back downstairs and helped to clean up. "Where is Edward?" Esme asked.

"He is upstairs mom. He wanted to be alone." Renee had also disappeared but I found her on the front porch wrapped in a blanket.

I sat down beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She rested her head on my shoulder and sighed, "Edward is so lucky to have you right now Bella."

"I know Renee. I am glad I can be there for him."

She turned to look at me, "You have no idea how much he loves you. You are everything to him."

"I feel the same way. I didn't know love was this powerful."

"My plane leaves in a few hours Bella. I don't know how I can tell Edward, but I just can't be here anymore. Please tell him how sorry I am."

"Don't worry Renee. I will take care of everything."

In those few short hours I slipped in to tell Edward his mother was leaving and he only nodded in response. I didn't like what I was seeing but I left him alone again and took Renee to the airport. When I got back Esme was the only one at Charlie's.

"I left him some things to eat Bella. If you need anything tonight we are only a phone call away."

"Thanks mom," I said wrapping my arms around her. She left and I was alone in my fiancé's dead father's house; It kind of creeped me out.

I went upstairs to check on him and he was fast asleep still in his suit. I sat next to him on the bed and stroked his face with my fingertips. He looked at peace while he slept. I went back downstairs and turned on the tv. A few hours later I heard an extremely loud crash followed by a slew of profanities.

I raced upstairs and found Edward sitting in the corner of the room, blood gushing from his feet and right hand. I didn't take a breath the entire time I picked the glass from his wounds and wrapped them tightly in gauze. I was secretly thankful to Carlisle for leaving me his medical bag and to Alice for predicting this – even with my shield up.

"I'm sorry Bella," he whispered.

"Don't be. Everyone deals with these things differently."

I finished with his hand and cleaned up the broken glass before helping him back to the bed. I pulled his suit jacket off and stripped him down to his boxer briefs before wrapping him up in the sheets. I noticed the pill still lying on the nightstand next to the untouched glass of water. I should have known. I looked down at him and pulled his head into my lap.

He was asleep within minutes and this time I stayed with him. I knew this night was far from over. It was only an hour later when he started thrashing and screaming out Charlie's name. I pulled his entire body into my lap and cradled his head against my shoulder. He started trembling and sobbing while I rocked him back and forth.

"Sshhh. I'm here now. Everything is going to be okay Edward. I got you."

I stuck the pill into his mouth and forced some of the water down his throat. He took the glass from my hand and downed the whole thing. "Don't leave me Bella," he murmured right before falling back asleep.

"Never," I promised kissing his forehead.

I stayed with him while the sun rose and then set again. That sleeping pill really knocked him out. I called home, letting them know that we wouldn't be there until the next day now. That night Edward awoke and sat straight up, sweating profusely. "Shit!" he mumbled and fell back into my lap.

"Are you hungry?" I asked.

He didn't respond but I knew he had to be famished. I slid off the bed and went downstairs to heat him up some leftovers. I was pulling the food from the microwave when I heard him screaming my name. I took the steps three at a time and bursted in through the door. He was sitting straight up, his head on his knees and his arms wrapped around himself. I could tell he was sobbing and shaking violently.

I picked him up into my arms and took him downstairs to the couch. He sat in my lap while I kissed his face, arms, whatever I could get my lips on. He finally relaxed and collapsed from his stiff position. I laid him down, and threw a blanket over him. I went back to the kitchen and reheated his food before taking it to him. I had to basically force feed him but he didn't struggle.

The next morning I carried him to the car and drove back to my house. We hadn't spoken in awhile but I wasn't sure if he would break down again if he did open his lips. He kept his eyes closed as I carried him upstairs to our room. I placed him on the bed and went to leave but he gripped my shirt with his hands. "I need you."

I wasn't precisely sure what he meant but I sat down next to him and stoked his cheek with my thumb, "I'm right here sweetie."

He sat up and pulled me into his lap, so that I was straddling him and looking right into his eyes. "I couldn't have made it through all of this without you Bella."

I pressed my lips against his and I suddenly knew what his need was. He rolled onto his back and pulled off my top. His hands slid under my bra, palming my breasts and rolling my nipples into between his fingers. I moved my hands to his belt and undid his pants. He rolled us over so that he was on top, taking his shirt off with one quick movement. He kissed down my jaw and neck until he reached my navel. His fingers fumbled with my button-down jeans but once he got them open he pulled them off, along with my underwear.

His lips trailed down my thighs while his fingers caressed the insides of my upper thighs. He rubbed his hands along my slick folds causing me to moan before sliding three fingers into my hot, wet opening. His tongue flicked and sucked on my clit, while his fingers probed me harder and deeper. In the midst of all this I managed to take of my bra and squeeze my nipples in between my fingers.

His fingers never let up until I lost myself in complete and utter ecstasy.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 15: It all comes undone**

**(Edward Swan)**

I can never explain what it feels like to lose your dad one day, then propose the next. It wasn't exactly how I wanted it to happen, but it felt so right to ask Bella to marry me right then. I needed her by my side and it felt wrong her only being my girlfriend through all of this. Fiancée was much more appropriate, considering the circumstances.

I don't remember anything about the ceremony at all. I wasn't really focused on anything in particular but I couldn't make eye contact with anyone because I knew I would lose it. Bella let me be alone – a huge mistake on my part. I was so angry that I managed to really fuck up my feet and right hand. But once again my angel was there taking care of me.

Once she shoved the pill in my mouth I knew I would finally get some sleep. What I wasn't expecting was the horrific nightmare that ensued. I felt her arms around me all night long I even think I slept through the day as well. I had no idea the time of day or anything but I didn't care. I had her with me and that was all that mattered to me at that moment in time.

When we finally got back to her house I needed to hold her and make love to her. I wanted to take care of her like she had me. She obliged, not knowing my intentions at first.

When she lost herself to my fingers, I ripped my jeans and boxer briefs off and slammed myself into her awaiting pleasure center. She screamed my name so loud that I think my ear drums broke. I dug my hips into her as she wrapped her legs around my waist allowing me to go deeper than ever before. I picked her up and placed her back against the wall, shoving myself into her over and over.

"Oh Edward," she moaned. "You feel so fucking big. I don't think I can last…"

I cut her off with my lips and laid down on the bed so she was on top. I guided her hips with my hands and she bounced up and down, riding me like she never had before. Our bodies slammed into one another harder and harder – I had lost count how many times I felt her muscles tighten around me, making me explode into her again and again.

We were unstoppable. Her beautiful body pressed tightly against mine – her lips trailing kisses up and down me. I was slightly aware of the uncomfortable ache that I had in my hips but I didn't care. I rolled over and hovered above her. I pressed my lips to hers again and continued sliding in and out of her. He grabbed my hips and slammed me down on her so hard that I immediately felt the sheering pain and pleasure at the same time. I rolled off her groaning loudly and placing my hands on the left side of my hip, "Fuck!"

"Edward what is it?" she asked sitting up next to me.

"Help me get dressed Bella, then call Carlisle up here."

"Why?"

I looked into her eyes, "Please Bella?"

She slid on some boxer briefs and a pair of sweats with a t-shirt. I was in complete and utter agony while she moved carefully around me. She put on a simple sweater dress and went to get Carlisle. He strolled into the room and I could feel the tears starting to fall from my eyes and down the sides of my face. Bella looked at me with pain in her eyes – I think she knew what was going on.

"Edward is everything okay?" Carlisle asked me.

I looked at Bella then back into his golden eyes, "It's my left hip or femur. I think it's broken," I mumbled.

Bella crumbled to her knees and slammed her fists into the floor, making a rather large hole. Emmett was on top of her in a flash, pulling her up and out of the room while she screamed at herself. The tears continued to flow from my eyes as Carlisle poked and prodded against my tender skin. "I think you are right Edward. We will need to get you to x-ray as soon as possible."

The next few days sucked more than I could imagine. I had broken the very tip of my femur and had to have surgery to fix it all, I forgot how many screws and stitches Carlisle had told me they used. Bella hadn't come to visit me in the hospital and when I was allowed to come home I couldn't go up the steps so I had to stay in one of the guest bedrooms downstairs. I was miserable and on top of all of it, it was now Christmas. Esme made me a wonderful meal and we all shared gifts. The one thing I wanted most of all was Bella, but she was still locked in our room – refusing to come out.

I cried myself to sleep every night and wouldn't take the pain medication that Carlisle had prescribed me. I wanted to feel every ache and pain to remind me of the wonderful moment that we shared when it happened. It sounds morbid, I know but I didn't want to be all drugged up when Bella did decide to talk to me.

The New Year came and went and before I knew it school was starting up again. I didn't want to go that first day without Bella, but Alice forced me to. I crutched around the school in misery getting stares and whispers. Mike was the only one by my side, well except for Alice. Two weeks had passed and still I had heard nothing from Bella. I couldn't take it anymore. My heart was ripping to shreds before my eyes. I had to get out.

"Jake?"

"Edward! Hey man how are you?"

"I've been better. Look I was wondering if I could come and visit?"

"Sure thing. You know you don't have to call."

"Great. Thanks Jake – I will be right over."

I crutched out of my room and almost ran her over, "Bella?"

"Hey," she mumbled. Her eyes were pitch black. I had a hard time looking at her without losing my temper.

"Where the hell have you been Isabella?"

"I needed time Edward. I'm sorry I put you through that."

"I'm sure you are," I said sarcastically. I couldn't do this now – I had to get out. "Look, if you don't mind Jake is expecting me."

She stopped me, "I really think we should talk about this Edward."

"Talk about what Isabella?" I was losing my temper now, "How you left me alone even after you promised you wouldn't? How I cried myself to sleep every single night wishing I could just hold you, knowing you were only a hundred feet away from me? Or how, once again, you forced me to believe that you don't love me? I can't do this with you right now Love. I have to go."

I crutched myself around her and to the front door. I grabbed my keys from the hook, surely I could drive? I didn't care. I made my way to my truck and somehow managed to get in. I started the engine and drove off towards Jake's.

He was waiting outside for me when I pulled up, "Dude what happened to your leg?"

"Ever had sex with a vampire?" I muttered sarcastically.

His eyes widened but then he laughed, "No but I have with a werewolf."

That made me laugh as well. I was sitting down in his garage when the phone rang. We heard Billy call from the house, "Edward. It's for you."

I had Jake answer for me, "He's busy. If it is important, his cell is on."

Then the phone vibrated in my pocket. I groaned, "Hello Alice."

"Edward are you crazy leaving like that? You need to get home right now!"

"Why Alice? I have been cooped up in that house for a month. I want to spend time with Jake."

"Edward, she's packing."

I dropped the phone, luckily Jake caught it. "Hey, you okay?"

I shook my head, "She's doing it again."

"What are you talking about?"

I stared him in the eyes, "She's leaving me."

I didn't know what I would say to her as Jake pulled me into the house. "Get your ass up there man! Go talk to her."

I stared at him, "I can't go up stairs Jake!" I screamed.

Alice was there quickly lifting me up and taking me to our room. I could hear things crashing against the wall. I opened the door and went in. She stopped to look at me. I shut the door and locked it, knowing very well that wouldn't keep her from leaving.

Her eyes pierced through me and I wanted to cringe but I held my own and hobbled up to her. "Please don't leave me," I murmured, tears flowing from my eyes.

"I'm not good for you Edward." She wouldn't look me in the eyes.

"I'm asking you, Isabella Cullen, to please not leave me again. I don't know if my heart can take it."

She finally raised her head and met my eyes. The tears were streaming down my face. She made her way over to me, cupped my face in her hands and wiped away the tears with her thumbs. "Edward, I can't stay here. Seeing you like this – I can't take it."

I crumbled to the floor, "You promised me Bella. You promised me forever."

She knelt beside me, "When I said that I meant it, but I couldn't predict this happening either."

I rolled over to stare into her eyes – they showed no emotion in them in the slightest. "Don't you love me at all?"

She slid the ring off her finger, "You mean too much to me Edward. I can't risk hurting you again." She placed the ring in my hand and I lost it.

"Then go. Leave me here to rot. I hope you never come back Bella. I hate you!" I sat up and struggled to get to my feet. She tried to help me, "Don't you dare touch me. I hate you Isabella Cullen!"

I maneuvered my way down the steps and Jake was waiting for me, "Take me home Jake. I want to go home."

Jake stayed with me the next month as much as he could. I met with the lawyers and found out that my dad's life insurance policy was for five million dollars. I about choked on my water. I decided to put all of it except for one million in a trust fund for myself. I hated to do it, but I sold my truck and bought myself a beautiful Corvette Stingray. I gave everything of Charlie's to Goodwill except for a few things that I thought I should keep. I put them in a box for now in the corner of the closet. I called Esme to help me redecorate the house. Seeing her made some of the holes in heart heal. I liked spending time with her on the weekends picking out furniture and flooring.

I had my cast taken off soon after and it felt good to use my leg again. School was going okay. I did my work but I was a mess underneath the mask I wore. Jake was the only friend I had after all this. My mood swings had finally taken their toll on Mike. Jacob came over all the time with Billy. It was nice to have company.

The house was finished and I couldn't have been prouder but I was secretly going to miss seeing Esme on a regular basis. I was really glad that everyone had decided to stay even after she left. They were like my family since Renee was in California. Before I realized it, spring was here and my heart sank. It was this time last year that she left me. I was in depression mode and finally called Carlisle.

"Hey Carlisle, it's Edward. I was wondering if you could write me something. I'm anxious, can't eat or sleep. I'm miserable Carlisle."

"No problem son I will be right over."

I hung up the phone, he called me son? I knew right then and there what I had to do. It wasn't something that medicine could do, but Carlisle could.

"Hello Edward. I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling down."

I took a deep breath, "Change me Carlisle." I waited for his response.

"What about Renee?"

"I can still keep a phone conversation with her, can't I? Besides we are both dealing with my dad's death in a different way. I haven't spoken to her in three weeks."

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

"I know what you are thinking. This isn't for her… it's for me. I'm tired of feeling like this and I want a change."

"Edward. I'm not sure I can do this. You aren't thinking straight right now. Maybe in a few months when you have thought this through."

I felt my heart being ripped from my chest. "I can't do this anymore Carlisle." I hit the floor – hard.

He helped me to my feet, "Be strong Edward. She will be back. I know my Isabella – she's stubborn but she still loves you."

"I don't think that is enough for me anymore Carlisle. I need to get out of here. I applied to Dartmouth in Vermont and I was accepted. I leave the day after graduation."

"That is wonderful son. Congratulations. Maybe it is just what you need?"

"I hope so."

That next month flew by. I had said my good bye's to everyone at graduation. My mom even flew in from California to say good bye to me. It was a bittersweet moment taking her back to the house.

"Oh wow! Edward, this is beautiful!"

"Thanks mom. I thought about selling it, but I am going to wait until I graduate from college."

"I think that is a wise idea sweetie. So how are you?"

"I'm ready to move on mom. I am really excited about going away to school. It will be a new start for me."

"I'm proud of you son. I know your dad is too."

I felt a few tears escape my eyes that night. It would be my last night in this house for quite a while. I was secretly thrilled at the idea but there was a small part of me that wanted Bella to be here for this. The next morning I boarded my plane and said goodbye to Forks as I flew off to my new home.

I stepped off the plane and took a taxi to my new place. I had found a beautiful two-bedroom studio apartment that was for sale and I bought it. I knew it would be a good investment and I could rent it out after I was finished with school. The moving truck showed up shortly after I did and once I had everything settled I crashed on the couch.

I spent the next few days walking around campus and reorganizing my new place. I got several winks and whistles from girls and it made my heart stop. I hadn't felt this way in so long that I had forgotten what it was like to be the center of attention.

I had completely stopped taking my medicine that Carlisle had prescribed me all those months ago and it felt good to be free. I called my mom and Jake and spent half the day on the phone. Just as I hung up there was a knock on my door. I opened it without thinking – hello you aren't in Forks anymore!

"Hi!" a cheery voice called at me.

Beautiful strawberry blonde hair and piercing blue eyes stared up at me through thick eyelashes. "Hello," I mumbled extending my hand. "I'm Edward."

"I'm Celeste. I live across the hall. Let me know if you ever need anything."

She turned to leave, I had butterflies in my stomach. "Wait. Would you like to come in and have something to drink?"

"Sure," she said stepping through my door. "Wow! Great place!"

"Thanks! I have a good friend, basically a second mother to me, that is a decorator."

"Must be nice. So what brings you to Vermont?"

"Dartmouth."

"Oh will you be taking graduate classes there?"

I laughed, "More like undergraduate classes. I'm only eighteen."

Her mouth dropped, "How in the hell can you afford this place then? A freshman not living on campus? Are you serious?"

She threw so many questions at me that I wasn't sure which one I should answer first. "Um. Yes I am a freshman and I bought this place so I wouldn't have to live on campus. My dad left me a trust fund when he died."

"Oh I'm so sorry Edward. I didn't mean to pry. I feel like such an ass now."

"No it's okay. How could you have known? I don't look eighteen – this I know."

"I should be going. I'm really sorry for bothering you like this."

I stepped in front of her to stop her, why in the hell weren't these butterflies going away. "No please don't leave Celeste… unless your boyfriend is waiting for you or something."

What in the hell was I saying? She started to giggle, putting her hand on her chest to control her breathing, "You are funny Edward. No I don't have a _boyfriend or something_ to get back to. I just thought that I've already made such an ass of myself that I should leave."

I took her by the arm and led her back to the couch, "Please sit and stay. I'm going to get you that drink that I offered you."

"A water would be just fine, thank you," she breathed smiling up at me as she sat.

Holy shit I just saw her cleavage. I needed to take a cold shower when she left now… great.

I focused myself in the kitchen and came back to the couch sitting across from her in the chair. I found myself staring at her – she noticed.

"So how many hearts did you break by leaving and coming here?" I felt a knot rise up in my throat and I looked down. "Damn it. I can't keep my mouth shut today. I'm so sorry Edward."

I shook my head and held up my finger letting her know I needed a minute. "Um… only my heart was broken that was why I came here."

She stood up and sat down on the table closer to me leaning forward, allowing me to see even more of her cleavage. I felt my dick twitch. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't want to bore you," I mumbled.

"Believe it or not I know what it is like to have your heart ripped out Edward."

I looked into her stunning blue eyes and sighed. I could get lost in those eyes if she let me. Damn it here I go again. "By the same person… twice? In one year – the one you proposed to the night before your father's funeral?"

"Oh shit," she mumbled. "You really are broken."

She slid off the table until our knees were touching. "You must think I am some pathetic loser – confessing all this minutes after I just met you. I'm sorry Celeste."

"Don't be sorry. I felt the connection we had as soon as you opened the door. This is fate Edward." She lifted herself up and crawled into my lap, straddling my groin. She pressed her lips to mine and something I thought I would never do happened – I kissed back. I placed my hands on her face, securing it to mine. I could feel her hands traveling up the front of my body.

God I was turned on. I slid my hands down the front her body, along the sides of her full breasts. She moaned and kissed down my neck and along the collar of my shirt. Her fingers fumbled with the buttons as she quickly undid them, exposing my chest and abs to her.

"You're beautiful," she mumbled.

I reached around her backside and slid my hands to grab the bottom of her ass. I lifted her up as I stood and took her to my bedroom. Her legs wrapped around my body so I pushed my erection into her stomach as I laid ourselves down on my bed. She took of my shirt and I pulled hers up over her head.

"Holy hell," I muttered looking at her black lace bra.

She lifted herself up and unhooked it, revealing her gorgeous breasts to me. I took them immediately into my mouth and twisted at her nipples with my fingers. The moans escaping her lips only made me want her more. I reached for her legs and unwrapped them from around my body. I slid my pants and boxer briefs off and she gasped.

I stood there in front of her as she got up from the bed pressing her body against mine. I let out a moan and palmed her ass cheeks again, squeezing them lightly. She unzipped her jeans and let them fall to the floor, along with her matching black lace panties. She knelt down in front of me and took me into her mouth.

"Fuck," I muttered as she worked her magic. She sucked my cock so well that I thought I was going to explode into her mouth, but she pulled away and led me to the bed where she got down on all fours. I placed my hands on her hips and guided myself carefully inside of her.

"You are so tight Celeste," I whispered as I slid in and out of her slowly.

Her moans rocked through me and caused me to pump faster. The noises coming out of her mouth were exotic and sexy and fucking turned me on. I slammed myself into her over and over causing her to scream out my name again and again. I spent myself twice inside of her before she let herself go. I could feel her muscles tightening around me so I wiggled my hips as I slid in, causing a new angle. She moaned loudly and collapsed onto her stomach.

I laid down beside her and stroked her back with my fingertips. I placed tiny kisses on her shoulder and down her spine. I threw the comforter around us and we fell asleep lying next to one another. The next morning I woke before her and slipped out to the kitchen quietly. I was in the process of making her breakfast in bed when I felt her arms wrap around me from behind.

"Good morning," she breathed kissing my back.

I covered her tiny hands in one of mine, "Good morning."

"That smells amazing," she said taking a deep breath.

"Why don't you go lay back down. I was going to serve this to you in bed."

She turned my body so that I was facing her, "You were making me breakfast in bed? Edward that is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me."

I bent down and kissed her lightly on the lips, "It won't be breakfast in bed if you don't get that sexy ass back in my bed."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 16: Moving on**

**(Bella Cullen)**

I retreated back to Canada and I knew James was not far behind me. In all honesty I wouldn't mind some company but I had to get to the Denali's. Tanya was waiting for me with open arms. I didn't have to explain anything to her and she took me in again.

"Bella, Bella. What are we going to do with you?" she laughed.

I spent the next few months telling Tanya absolutely everything. Alice had tried to call me almost every day but after awhile she stopped calling. I felt like crap – I had abandoned the man I loved and my family again. I wandered aimlessly in the woods at night – knowing very well that James was out there biding his time. When spring came he finally showed his face to me while I was hunting alone.

"Hello Bella."

"Hey James." I was indifferent to him now. "It's about time you came out of hiding."

He made his way slowly up to me, "You have been sad for far too long Isabella."

"You get used to it after being alone for an entire century James."

He looked at me, "Why did you leave him Bella. I thought he was your entire universe."

"He still is James – he always will be I'm afraid. There is no way I could ever forget him. He changed me."

"I could change you Bella. If you give me a chance?"

"Please not now James. I would just like to be alone for now."

"I'll be waiting for you Bella."

He disappeared and I wanted to crumble to the ground. I decided to call Alice – I was hoping she would take my call.

"Hello Bella," she spat. Oh yea she was still pissed.

"I'm sorry for not returning your calls Alice. I just wanted to be alone for a while."

"Do you have any idea what you are putting this family through… again?"

"I'm sorry! Okay? Look Alice I just need to know…" I trailed off.

"Carlisle has him on two different medications to control his panic attacks and sleeping habits. He will graduate next week and he is going to Dartmouth Bella. He bought a place there and everything."

"Oh," was all I managed to respond with.

"He is moving on Bella. I suggest you do the same."

"Thanks Alice. I'll try to keep in touch better." I clicked the phone shut and finally crumbled to the ground. I stayed there for about a week I think. Tanya finally found me with the help of James.

"What the hell were you thinking Bella?"

She picked me up and threw me over her shoulders. I was in a hot bubble bath when she spoke to me again, "He's moved on hasn't he?"

I only nodded. "It is for the best. He needs to be with someone who is human."

"No Bella. You two are soul mates. You need to fight for what is yours!"

I shook my head, "I can't – he's not mine anymore Tanya."

I sat there until the water ran cold. Tanya never left my side for the next month. She kept her eye on me wherever I went. If he could move on then so could I… right?

*** 3 Years Later ***

"I love you, you know that right?" he said to me.

"Of course I do. You tell me every single day James. I love you too."

"I need you Bella. I need you right now."

"Can we please just get home first?"

"No!" he screamed tackling me to the ground. I had to laugh – he was funny when he got all horny like this. He pressed his lips roughly to mine and I wrapped my arms around him.

"You are amazing," I breathed in between kisses. "Do you know that?"

He smiled and kissed me again, "I'm so lucky to have you Bella. You mean everything to me."

He finally let me up and we raced back to our home. We now lived on the outskirts of Forks. My parents were only about a mile from us. They had taken James into the family when we fell in love. Emmett loved that he had a new brother and Jasper was Jasper. Everyone was happy for me.

I slammed him down onto our bed and listened to the earsplitting crash that followed. "I guess we are going to have to get another bed frame," I mumbled pulling his face to mine.

He laughed and ripped off my clothes – his soon followed of course. Making love to James was something that I had never experience but it was hot. We slammed into one another – always breaking something in the process. I guess it was a good thing we lived in the middle of nowhere. If we had neighbors I think they would get suspicious of all the breaking glass and wood.

We had a schedule that we both liked. We made love all night long – every night – and during the day we both went our separate ways working and what not. I was currently taking some online classes trying to get yet another Bachelor's degree while James hung out with Emmett or Jasper. I like my new life, that was until I ran into Jacob one day in town.

"Hey Jake! How have you been?"

"I'm all right Bella. When did you get back in town?"

"About two years ago. James and I bought a place not far from my parent's."

"Oh. Well that sounds nice."

It got very awkward and I soon realized why. I could hear his heartbeat and then his laugh soon after. "Hey Jake! Where did you disappear to?"

He stopped dead in his tracks and I watched the blood drain from his face. An adorable, petite strawberry blonde haired girl had her arms around him and they had been laughing. My eyes quickly zeroed in on the ring on her left hand.

"Edward? What is it?" she asked shaking him. She finally turned to look at me.

He shrugged from her arms and walked up to me, "Bella?"

"Hello Edward. How are you?"

"This is Bella?" she said before he could answer.

He only nodded, "It's been a long time Bella. I'm fine. I start my senior year at Dartmouth this fall." The girl walked back up to him and he wrapped his arms around her, kissing her forehead. "And this is Celeste… my fiancé."

"Oh wow. Well Congratulations. What brings you home?"

"We were in California visiting my mom and we stopped here afterwards. Thought I should introduce my girl here to my best man."

I tried to hold my composure, "So when is the big day?"

"Next summer," he breathed.

Jake finally spoke up, "Bella was just telling me that her and James have a house not far from Carlisle and Esme's." He was such an ass.

I responded quickly, "You should really stop by Edward. I know my parents would love to see you again. They would be even more thrilled if you brought Celeste – I think they would like to hear about your new life."

"Wait, Esme? The decorator? Edward you didn't tell me Esme was Bella's mom?" Celeste complained clearly agitated.

"Oh well she isn't my mom exactly. They adopted me after I lost my parents."

"Oh I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"It was a long time ago," I said shrugging – a century ago to be exact.

"We will have to stop by then." Edward said finally.

"They would like that. Well I have to be going. I have a few errands to run." I started to walk away but turned around to catch him still staring at me. He still took my fucking breath away – those three years did his body good.

When I got home I told James about everything. He was immediately pissed off and wouldn't talk to me all night long. We had been fighting a lot lately and I was getting sick of it. Sure the sex was great but there was so much more to a relationship than that.

That next morning he finally came out of the bedroom to talk to me. "Bells we need to talk about this."

"Okay," he was finally being reasonable. Where did this come from?

"I don't want you to see him again."

"But we are supposed to be at my parents today when they visit!"

"Well we aren't going Bella. I don't want you around him."

There went my cool – out the window it went. "Don't you think for one second James that you can tell me I can't see my family. I am going. With or without you!"

He grabbed my arms tightly and shook me, "I said you are not going and that is final!"

I slipped out of his grip easily, "I am going and when I get back I don't want to find you here! It's over James. I'm done pretending that this is working."

"You think you can just leave me like that? I own you Bella!"

"No, you don't – not anymore. I'm leaving you."

**(Edward Swan)**

Seeing Bella like that made my heart go into shock. All those feelings came flooding back into my body – every touch, every kiss. I still loved her. No! I was engaged to Celeste now – she was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I woke up screaming that night. Celeste was scared out of her mind. She thought all my nightmare days were over, but being back in this house – my dad's house, just flooded my body with painful, yet happy memories.

The next morning I called Esme and she was thrilled about all my news. She wanted us to come over that afternoon when everyone was home. My heart nearly pounded out of my chest – everyone?

Celeste was excited and nervous to be meeting the people that I called my second set of parents – even though I hadn't spoken to them in three years. When we arrived at the house Alice was the one that greeted us. She threw her arms around my neck, "I've missed you so much Edward! Ever heard of a phone jerk!" She teased. At least I think she was teasing.

"Alice this is Celeste, my fiancé."

"Well congratulations you two. Here you'd better get inside and sit down before you get bombarded with hugs." She pulled us in the front entrance and showed us to the living room. It was still exactly the same as I had remembered it. She sat us down on the love seat and I was eternally grateful for that.

My heart jumped to my throat when I heard the front door slam again. I watched Bella rush by and I badly wanted to follow her. Where in the hell were these feelings coming from?

Esme came in, carrying a tray of snacks and I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I secretly went up the steps and heard the dry sobs coming from our old room. "Bella?" I said opening the door.

She turned to face me – she looked a mess. "Go away Edward. You don't need to see this."

I rushed to her side, "Bella what's wrong?"

She pulled away from my touch, "Go back to your fiancé, Edward."

I stood and cupped her face in my hands, "Tell me Isabella."

"I can't believe I was lying to myself for three years. Why did I run from you?"

Her words made me take a step back – she still loved me. I leaned against the wall and slid down it. The room was spinning so I shut my eyes and took huge deep breaths. I hadn't had a panic attack in three years but I was in the middle of a full blown one right now. She still loved me – after all this time she felt the exact same as I did.

"I never let you go either Bella," I whispered.

I felt her arms around me, "What are we going to do Edward?"

I stood up, "I have to get back to Celeste." I walked from the room and felt the last pieces of my heart rip to shreds. I had something wonderful with Celeste but I had been lying to myself that I was over Bella. I never let that part of my life go and now that in the hell was I going to do. The love my life was sitting in our old bed room and my fiancé was downstairs. I was torn but I had to keep it together. Everything would be fine once we got back to Vermont.

I went back downstairs and sat beside Celeste. "Are you okay?" she whispered.

"Fine," I lied.

"I love Esme. She is so sweet!"

The next few hours were excruciating and they got so much worse when James showed up, "Bella! Bella!" he screamed until she went to him.

"I told you it's over James! Get out!"

Emmett and Jasper were there immediately hauling him to the front door, "She asked you to leave James. I suggest you do so," Emmett said throwing him out the front door.

"I'm so sorry everyone," Bella said sitting next to Alice. Alice wrapped her arms around her and Bella rested her head on Alice's shoulder. She looked miserable. I wanted to run across the room and kiss those lips of hers. I wanted to make love to her over and over again, make her forget who James was. God she broke my heart just staring at her.

An hour later Celeste was getting pretty tired. "Thank you so much for your hospitality Esme. Everything was simply wonderful." God she was adorable – why was my heart doing this to me?

We walked out to my car and I held her door for her. "Bye guys. It was good to see you again."

I was wrapped up into several hugs and then slid into my car next to Celeste. "Wow! They are so amazing – and so close," she breathed resting her head on the back of the seat.

I started the car, even though I just wanted so badly to see Bella one more time, hold her; tell her everything was going to be okay. I was ripping myself in two. I was on the highway when Celeste turned to me.

"Don't do this to yourself."

"What?"

"I understand Edward. She was your first love."

She slid the ring off her finger, "This belongs to her, just like your heart."

"I will always care about you Celeste. You got me through some pretty tough times and I will never forget how much love we shared."

She leaned over to kiss me on the cheek. Then there was a loud horn, a scream, screeching tires, shattering glass, and finally a blow that knocked me out making everything go black.

**(Bella Cullen)**

"I can't believe James had the guts to show up here!"

"Bella, he cares about you. He always has – even when you didn't."

"I told him how I felt Alice. He still loves me too."

"Put your shield down!"

"What? Alice hello?"

"Now! Do it Bella."

I relaxed and focused, powering down I guess you could say. I felt so exposed without it.

Alice's eyes snapped open at the same time I heard crash. It was only about a mile from the house – right on the highway.

"No," she breathed.

"Alice what is it?"

"Carlisle!" She screamed.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 17: Changing**

**(Edward Swan)**

I heard voices before I could open my eyes.

"No, she's dead. We can't save her. Edward can you hear me? Edward it is Carlisle. You have been in a car accident."

What? Is Celeste okay? God this was all my fault. How could I have been so careless?

"He's no responding Carlisle, what do we do?"

"His pulse is strong but these injuries – there is no way he will ever walk again."

I tried so hard to open my eyes, then I suddenly realized they were open the whole time. A bright light was blinding me and I tried to lift my hand to cover my eyes from the intense light.

"Edward, thank god. The ambulance is on the way. Edward you need to decide now."

"Carlisle he doesn't know what you are asking him."

I felt a pair of lips against mine, "Sweetie it's me Bella. Carlisle wants to know if you want to go to the hospital or if you want the change now?"

"Bella," I murmured. "I love you."

"You don't have much time Edward. You need to make your choice baby."

"She knew. Celeste knew that I still loved you. She gave me back the ring. I love you Bella – always."

"That is okay enough for me!" Bella shouted.

"Edward, you want this?" Carlisle asked again.

"How bad am I?"

"You will never walk again, and the use of your arms might be eighty percent. But you are losing so much blood – you might not make it to the hospital."

"I want this Carlisle. Change me – change me now Carlisle. Bella I love you."

There was even more intense light and heat that I could feel on my face. I could smell the smoke, was something burning? Then I was flying. I felt the wind on my face and it felt great. I was running. But Carlisle just said I wouldn't be able to use my legs or even arms again. There were more bright lights and an extremely cold, hard metal table.

"How Carlisle?"

Let me think Bella. "Get some morphine is his system first."

"There isn't time!"

Everything was fading around me then I felt the pain and more heat. Why was I next to a fire? The heat surged around the pain and I felt on fire – way too much heat! I wanted to scream but I didn't want to frighten or worry Bella. I lied there in complete agony as the fire burned through my body. My arms and legs were completely limp then all the sudden the fire was raging through them as well. I lost track of time – I didn't know how long it had been but I could always hear her voice.

"How much longer Alice?"

Wait when did Alice get here? I specifically do not remember Alice coming into the room.

"Bella you have to drop your shield around him, otherwise I can't tell you."

Drop her shield? What the hell, was she wearing a suit of armor?

"It won't be long now Bella. He is going to be magnificent and he can hear us now."

"Have all the arrangements been made?"

"Everything is set for this afternoon. We should be back by the time he wakes up."

I felt her hand squeeze mine and I so badly wanted to squeeze back but I knew if I moved I would scream out in agony. I heard some more footprints then all was quiet. I knew she was still holding my hand but I was focusing on the fire that was now diminishing slightly in my body.

"I know you can hear me sweetie. You were in a car accident if you don't remember. It was pretty bad. When we got there and you were lying on the road I thought I was too late, but then you moved. I love you so much Edward and I'm sorry things had to happen like this."

There was a long pause of silence before she spoke again.

"Celeste was killed instantly – she wasn't wearing her seatbelt. Her body was flown back to Vermont and your service is this afternoon. We wanted to make it as real as possible for Renee."

I wanted to hold her and tell her that I chose this because I loved her too. More time passed and I could feel the heat slowly creeping its way out of my body, except for my chest. I didn't think it was possible for it to get more intense but it did and then my heart took off. I felt like it was going to fly out of my chest. I heard Bella standing next to me – I could smell her too. That same strawberry shampoo filled my senses and I focused on her hand on mine.

"It's happening," she breathed.

"He will open his eyes in exactly two minutes. I will go get the family."

I could hear everything that was going on, despite the sound coming from my chest. I opened my eyes and stared up at the face that I thought I had memorized so many times. I lifted my hand to her face and stroked her cheek, "You're beautiful Isabella."

I took a deep breath, not that I needed to, but it felt good. I took in so many flavors and aromas that it made me nervous. I was also hearing lots of voices in my head – it was overwhelming.

"How are you feeling Edward?" I turned to face Carlisle who had taken a step forward from the rest of the family members.

I took in another deep breath, fuck she smelled divine. "It's a little overwhelming and all these voices. Could you guys please keep it down?"

Bella's eyes zeroed in on mine and she took my face into her hands, "No one is talking sweetie."

I sat up and looked at my family, "Are you sure because I swore Emmett just said that he is wondering when you and I are going to break some headboards?"

Emmett snickered then straightened up, "Dude I didn't say that."

"Jasper, I'm fine okay? Stop worrying."

Bella turned to her family, she looked concern, but she held up a finger. Then she turned back to me, "Do you hear anything now?"

The voices completely disappeared, "They're gone Bells."

"And how about now?"

I felt something snap inside of me, and all the noises came back. "Emmett seriously!" I groaned.

He only laughed at me, "Sorry I am trying to not think about it!"

"Wait what?" Bella said looking back at Emmett.

"I am trying Bells, honestly but I remember when…"

She cut him off and turned back to me, "Edward you can hear what he is thinking?"

"Well he keeps shouting at me, it is kind of hard to ignore that!" I mumbled. I stood up and wrapped my arms around Bella's waist, "I love you."

She threw her arms around my neck and kissed me on the lips. "Let's get you hunting before you do anything rash," she murmured.

I heard Emmett snicker but I couldn't hear him, "Bella are you shielding me?"

She nodded, "You have so much to worry about I don't want all these voices making you go crazy."

I kissed her again, "I love you."

She turned to Jasper, "We're going now okay? So you can relax because I have the newborn under control."

Jasper just shook his head. "What?" I asked.

Jasper just left the room and Alice smiled sheepishly at me and went after him.

"We will be back later guys," Bella informed everyone.

She led me out of the room and down the steps. I reached for her hand and wrapped my fingers around hers, she felt so warm to me now. When we reached the river I stopped and gave her a weary look, "I don't know Bella."

"It's easy sweetie, just watch me."

She took a step forward and launched herself across the river. I copied her exactly except I ended up dangling from a branch of a tall blue spruce. I had never felt so alive and free before. "This is so great Bella!" I said dropping to my feet beside her.

She laughed at me. Her voice echoed off the trees and it was music to my ears. "Catch me if you can," she whispered taking off.

Before I never knew how she could run so fast, but it was really easy. I caught up with her in no time and grabbed her hand as we ran together. I slowed my pace to match hers and she eventually stopped all together in a very large, open field.

"Open your senses Edward. What do you smell?"

I took in a deep breath, taking everything in. "There are five, no six herbivores about two miles due south of here… deer?"

"Wow," she breathed.

I opened my eyes to look at her and she was smiling up at me, "What Bella?"

"You are simply amazing. I love you Edward – so much."

I pressed my lips to hers, "Let's go get us some deer."

"Elk, sweetie, but you were really close."

**(Bella Cullen)**

Watching Edward hunt for the first time was nerve-wracking. He was a natural, yes, but there was something weird about watching him hunt like me. I couldn't believe that after three years we were back together as if nothing happened – the only problem was so much had happened. We were completely different people now.

We were walking back to the main house when I finally broke the silence, "Tell me about your life in Vermont Edward."

He stopped and turned to look at me, "It will only upset you Bella."

I took his hands into mine and looked into his eyes, "I want to know, please."

"What is there to say love? You left so I moved on and fell in love with someone else, someone I thought I wanted to share my life with. I guess I was wrong about that too."

He turned to walk away from me, but I cupped his face in my hands, "Edward I am so sorry for leaving you. I just didn't have a choice."

"You did have a choice Bella and you left me again."

He pulled away and I didn't stop him this time. I knew our perfect little reunion would come crashing down around us. I walked in the opposite direction as him and perched myself against a tree. He would come around once he had some time to clear his thoughts.

It was almost morning when he finally approached me, "Why'd you do it Bella? Why did you break my heart like that?"

I looked up at him, fuck he was beautiful. "You just don't get it do you? Edward how many times had I put your life in danger because of what I was, what I am? You will never know what I went through seeing you crippled in a hospital bed on more than one occasion because of me."

He gripped my chin with his hand, "Stop! Fuck Bella, why do you always do this? Breaking my bones was nothing compared to how you ripped out my heart. You have no idea what that was like. I was broken and Celeste was there to put together the pieces. I think that was the reason I fell in love with her so quickly. I could tell her everything about myself and she never judged me for my faults. She was the one comforting me when I woke up screaming your name in the middle of the night! Do you know how fucked up it was to have her holding me after I screamed out another woman's name?"

I had no words so I just pulled my face out of his grip. I started to walk away from him but his arms formed an embrace around me, "Stop fucking walking away Bella."

I turned to face him, about to bitch him out but he crushed his lips to mine. Our kiss was frantic and needed. He was so strong now and this kiss was very different from the last one I had engrained in my memory. He pressed his body against mine until we were rolling around on the ground.

"Edward, no wait," I protested pushing him off me.

"What the fuck Bella?"

"Not here Edward. Let's go back to my place."

"You mean yours and James' place," he groaned.

I stood up pulling him up with me and placing my lips against him for a quick kiss, "No I mean my place! He only lived with me, that house is mine and I kicked him and his shit out."

And with that he took off towards my house. He was extremely quick but I managed to keep only a few strides behind him. I loved the free feeling of running with him – it was something that I had never experienced before with James. Edward bursted in the front door and turned around catching me in his arms. He kicked it shut and raced me off to the main bedroom.

He sat me on the edge of the bed and then took his place beside me. "Bella I'm sorry about earlier. I know why you left me but it just took so long for me to get over you – to tell you the truth I don't know if I ever really did. That night Celeste saw through all my pretenses. She knew that I still loved you and she had miraculously let me go somehow."

"She cared about you Edward. I could see that."

"But we never shared the connection that you and I did Bella. A small part of me never let you go. I think that is why it was so easy for me to fall back in love with you – to say yes to Carlisle that night."

I looked over at him and placed my hand against his cheek, "James was only a tool to me. I never really loved him – it was just hard to ignore someone who loved me so much."

With that he pressed his lips to mine again, "I love you Isabella. I need you."

"Not as much as I need you," I mumbled pressing my lips to his again.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 18: Our New Life**

**(Bella Cullen)**

Our need for one another lasted into the afternoon. It was a whole new experience for both of us and I don't know how we managed to stop. His glorious sculpted body fitted perfectly against mine and our lust and desire was far from satisfied but we knew that my family was patiently waiting for us back at the main house.

"Edward?" I whispered when he was pulling on his jeans. "You know if you want to you can stay here. I have an extra bedroom."

He leaned over and pressed his lips to my jaw line and kissed down my neck, "I would love that Bella. But why do you think I would need my own bedroom?"

I giggled and kissed him back, "Thank you."

When we got to the main house Emmett was laughing loudly at something, probably us. But we ignored him and went o Carlisle's study where he and Esme were waiting for us.

"Dad?" I said opening the door.

"Come on in kids." We walked in and sat down across from my parents. "So Edward, how are you feeling?"

"I feel okay Carlisle. I mean it is all a little overwhelming but Bella just makes it so easy."

"Have you two discussed these past three years with one another?"

"Yes and no," I mumbled.

"What I think she means is that yes we have talked about it, but we didn't go into anything elaborate. We both gave general overviews and we have moved on. I have forgiven her for leaving me because I know she thought she was doing the right thing."

I took his hand into mine, he was everything and more.

"That is very mature of you Edward. How are you finding the transitioning going?"

"I was very disoriented at first because I could hear everything, but what I want to know is that that means. Can everyone hear other's thoughts at first?"

"No Edward. You see sometimes we bring gifts from our human life into this life. I think what has happened to you is that before, when you were human, you could easily define what people where thinking – you were perceptive towards their facial expressions and body language."

"So what? Now I can hear what everyone is thinking?"

"It seems to be that way but it is hard to tell since Bella is shielding you."

"I have heard that so many times, can someone tell me what it means?"

"Of course sweetie. My power is a shield, not like body armor, but more like a force field. It is second nature to me. I am shielding your mind so that you can't hear what everyone is thinking. This is all so new to you I didn't want you to think that you were going crazy by hearing voices."

He squeezed my hand tightly, "You are everything Bella."

"So do you think he can read everyone's thoughts dad?"

"It is hard to tell Bella."

"So Bella can shield, I can read minds… is that all I need to know about?"

We all laughed in unison, "Not quite Edward," Carlisle chuckled. "Jasper can control emotions of those around him and Alice can see the future."

"Oh so that is why you asked her how long the other day?"

"You heard me?" I shrieked at him.

"I could hear everything you said to me Bella."

"But you never moved, we just assumed you were in a coma or something."

"I chose not to move because I knew if I did I would be screaming and I didn't want to put you through that."

I pressed my lips to his, "You are unbelievable."

He turned back to my parents, "So what happens now?"

"Well that is entirely up to you Edward. You seem to be showing excellent control for a newborn so that is good. Only time will tell though."

I turned to him, "Would you like to see what you can do with your new powers Edward?"

He winked at me, "Let's go see what your brothers and sisters are thinking."

**(Edward Swan)**

Going into the living room was an interesting experience. At first Bella shielded me and then she would only let one person in at a time. Emmett's mind was by far the worst thinking things like why it took us so long to come back from hunting, and if Bella's place was still standing. Jasper's mind, however, was intriguing. He was so wise and gentle and it was immediately calming reading his thoughts – of course that was also part of his gift.

_Are you two going to get married?_

"I'm not sure Alice, it is something we need to talk about."

_I can't believe you are so controlled – it is almost upsetting._

"I'm sorry Jasper. I could try to be a sadistic, wild newborn if you would like."

_Hell no man! Now we can have all kinds of fun – all in different ways of course._

"Emmett, seriously? You are like two."

_He didn't turn out that bad… I guess he's my brother now._

"Thanks Rose, I appreciate that."

"Edward, HOLY SHIT! Would you stop answering their thoughts… I can't keep up." Bella screeched.

"Sorry love. Why can't I read your thoughts?"

"Because I am still shielding."

"Could you try to not shield so I can get inside that pretty little head of yours?"

"Not now, maybe later when Emmett, the two year old as you call him, isn't with us."

I laughed, "Okay."

_I really hope you get married. Oh that would be so perfect!_

"Alice I know."

"You're doing it again," Bella groaned.

"Sorry but she kind of had a question."

We sat there practically the whole day just watching tv and talking. All of their thoughts were flowing freely in my head and it wasn't as overwhelming as I thought it would. I was nervous though for when I got enough control to be in a large group of people, hopefully I would be able to control this – or at least tune it out.

When we decided to leave Bella shielded me again so I wouldn't have to listen to Emmett's vulgar thoughts anymore. We walked back to her place hand in hand. It was the longest day of my life and it felt weird that I wasn't tired – but I liked it.

We were sitting on the couch when I pulled Bella into my lap, "I would love to know what you are thinking right now," I murmured.

"I'm nervous about it Edward. I mean what if you don't like what I am thinking?"

"Could it be any worse than Emmett?"

She snickered, "No I guess not." She then closed her eyes and relaxed into my lap, melting against my chest.

I wrapped my arms around her and waited to hear her _voice_.

_I wonder what he and Alice were discussing this afternoon. I will have to ask her later. I could have thrown Emmett through a wall, maybe I should just let Edward do that – he is stronger._

"I am?"

"You are what Edward?"

I laughed, "Stronger than Emmett?"

Her eyes were like saucers, "You heard me?"

"You have beautiful thoughts Bella."

_Not as beautiful as you. Fuck you are sexy. Last night was the best night of my existence. He has been the only one to ever please me like that – even when he was human._

I closed my eyes and continued to listen to her rambled and sporadic thoughts. I couldn't believe that this was possible when she let her shield down. I wonder how far apart this connection would work?

"Edward?"

I opened my eyes, "Yes Bella?"

"What were you and Alice talking about earlier?"

"She wants us to get married and Rose called me her brother."

She pressed her lips to mine and rested back against my shoulder.

_I should have never given that ring back to him. I mean his dad gave it to him right before his heart attack. It meant everything to Edward, then I go and give it back to him, breaking his heart in the process. I was such an idiot – James was a tool. I didn't know it was possible to love someone so intently. He is my everything now._

"I love you Bella," I whispered.

She pressed her lips to mine again and you can only guess what happened next. Our bodies were in such unison and we never tired. I don't think I would ever stop making love with her. She was my everything too. She kept her shield down the entire time and her loving thoughts only made me want her more. She was incredibly sexy.

"I love you Edward," she murmured over and over.

We were now laying next to one another by the fire place under a big blanket, "I will be right back Bells."

I flew to her room where Esme had so graciously put all my stuff. I knew what I was looking for and I found it quickly, gold had its own scent. I went back to her and reclaimed my place next to her body.

I sat up and looked down at her, "Bella I know this might be rushing things but this moment is too perfect to pass up. I need you Bella, always – Will you marry me?"

She pulled me down on top of her body and wrapped her arms around my neck pressing her lips tightly against mine. "I need you too – yes Edward."

Our bodies entangled together until the sun started to peek its head out.

_Holy Shit… it's sunny out. That must be a sign. We are going to be bombarded now… Alice._

I laughed, "I agree Alice will be difficult to handle but I think it will be okay. We have each other right?"

She smiled at me, "Okay I am putting my shield back up until we get to the house!"

We walked hand in hand towards the house and waited to see what the reactions of her family were going to be. Alice beat us to opening the front door. She launched herself into Bella's arms squealing about how she had the perfect dress.

"Fuck Alice, can't you for once relax? Who else would I let plan the wedding?"

"You are not going to be sorry Bella!" Alice said running back into the house.

We wrapped our arms around one another's waists and walked in to the living room where our family was waiting with smiles.


	20. Author's Note

Decisions Not for the Faint of Heart – Author's Note

**I tried to take a different point of view in this story. I wanted to know what it would be like if Bella were the vampire – turns out she as selfish as Edward originally was.**

**If you have any ideas or anything that you would like me to write about please let me know. I always love a good idea.**

**I am currently working on two new stories and they are completely different in the way Edward and Bella view one another. One is based off of a song – the entire idea came from this song and it is coming out amazing.**

**I love, love, love that you review and enjoy reading my stories. You are the reason that I do what I do – on the side anyway. I will never leave my special education position. I love my students too much **

**Hallen – Is there anything you don't comment on? I love every second of your reviews. So thank you for enjoying my stories. You are one of the main reasons why I do it.**


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